General

what if i really wanted to be gone? i dont think im depressed, but i feel constant stress and im starting to wonder if its really giving up or taking the easy way out. i feel like it would be making a choice. i dont want to feel the pain of death so i dont do it. i dont believe there is a grand purpose to my life. i am pretty normal, have plenty of friends, and i have somewhat of a future. i dont like the idea of my future. im going to have a miserable job, making money to pay for a life […]

Maybe I will get sleep..Maybe my nightmares will take a break..Oh fuck..who am I kidding? They never will. Off to bed without sleep.

I have had a really rough night..I was relaxed almost all day. Then I got home and my mom started bitching at me and now I just wanna sleep and cry..

I got my stuff back from Dean today..It hurt like hell but now maybe I can put the past behind me and move on. Try to focus on ways to make myself happy.

Now I am just wondering..I can’t cut anymore it’s to noticeable when I am home in shorts and short sleeve shirts..Is there a better place to hide it other then my wrist or a different way to let out my emotional pain […]

I show all the symptoms. I try to tell someone…but nobody listens. So why talk anymore? I’m done. I thought MAYBE I would find a reason to stay…MAYBE someone would actually want me here…but MAYBE is just a word people use when they don’t want to face the truth. I’m better off dead. That’s the truth. Nobody cares. I’m done using all these maybes…..it’s time for me to face reality. And in reality…nobody cares…you walk around with scars and people just point, laugh, and judge. So tell me…when everything you ever cared about has been taken away and nobody cares about you…why do you stay? […]

Every time I cut I thought that I would be able to stop whenever I wanted. Once I tried to stop, though, I realized that I’ll never be able to escape the burning, desperate urge to harm my own body.

Hello there idiot that’s wasting their time reading this. By commenting pretending that “you care” your also wasting your time. So don’t bother, just read it, that’s all I ask of you…

My story?
Hmm.
I’ll never trust anyone anymore, especially if they say they “care”. It’s a lie when they say that, because in the end almost every fucks you over, except those few that are worth keeping, so far I’ve found one worth keeping around, he does care, but he lives almost 300 miles away. I wish he lived closer, be with him.. Would be like being able to walk on water, he makes me feel […]

You told me I could “trust” you, and that you “cared”. But you just fucked me over. I honestly thought you were different, but you proved me wrong. I actually kinda loved you.. I don’t know why. It hurts..alot, to think about all of this. I don’t get why I care.. Your one of the biggest lying douchebags I’ve ever met. You “loved” me? Now you tell me you just wanted to get in my pants because I’m hot? No thanks. That’s the biggest douchbag move you could’ve pulled. What pisses me off most is that you turned Austin against me. Thanks. Really appreciate it. […]

It seems I am only gonna get four hours of peace
a day from the crushing weight of this depression
that wants to consume me and crumble me to a pulp!

4 hrs of no stressing, no panic, no feelings of disorientation
and I am grateful for those 3 to 4 hours that I am not consumed
with these feelings and crazy thoughts, when I am fooled that
all is right with my world.

What changes, what alters, to make it go from life is okay to all is shit in my world???
A person can only take so much of this before they snap!!!!
No end […]

http://suicideproject.org/chatroom/

I’ve fallen. And I feel worthless. And unloved. I’ve consdered drugs. I look fat and ugly. And I’ve lost anyone I’ve ever cared about. I want to let go. I don’t know how much longer I can hold on…I don’t care about anything anymore. I don’t know how I’m gonna do it…but I’m sure it’s gonna happen.

…. woah I haven’t talked about this since it happened. Uhm … okay when I was 10 I went to New York and stayed at my uncle’s house. I would always be with his wife because my uncle worked everyday. Uh one day my auntie (his wife) had to go to work. So he stayed with me…. Everything was okay, he was in his room I was in mine. Then he came in my room to give me lunch… He stayed and watched me, I was so stupid. I should of realized the way he was looking at me. The way he would smile at me for […]

She never should have come home, she shouldn’t have called an ambulance and she shouldn’t have saved me. I didn’t want saving. Now it’s 2 weeks down the line and I have to do it again. I don’t want to be alive any more. I want to be dead. What is so hard to understand about that? I promised to call the centre if I get thoughts like this again but what am I supposed to say? Hello, just keeping my promise to call you before I attempt suicide. I want to die. I hate her for stopping me last time.

Dean just got here to give me my stuff and he gave me back the letters I wrote him:(! I really do wanna cut now but on the other hand if he gave me them back he never really cared so WHY am I so upset:(?

This post is going to be really short. I just want to kill myself.