General

Ive decided 7 months ago..January will be the month, right after new years cuz i wanna party, get so fukkD up for new years then go out with a bang..lol Not to mention have plenty of sex, which i get anyway.. but im gonna get more then ever b4 these last two months… so my plan is simple… take a large quantity of pain meds, then hang.. or gp get the charcol gas grill and use it in my car, which is painless and quick… damn… cant wait… hopefuly il make it two more months, stleasy to see obama get re elected.

It’s been a pretty intense day. I’m at a pretty low ebb and all day I’ve felt really emotional. Mainly just really sad, it comes over me in a wave and makes me feel nauseous, and I want to cry. Cutting through that, I find myself smiling and laughing cos shit is so absurd 🙂 I’m a big beiliever in people and people have been really good to me today, very patient and kind. I think that maybe they can sense that I need that at the moment without realsing it. It takes about ten minutes to walk to my car after work and I […]

I’m new to this. So I’m just gonna start of with this. I don’t even know why I try to be happy anymore. All I am is just a worthless piece of shit. I’m no good for anything so I may as well just kill myself already. I’ve never actually attempted but I’ve been so close so many times. Many suicide notes have I written, just waiting for someone to read them as I’m just laying there dead. I fucking wish that for just one day I can be genuinely happy. I think that the only reason I still live is because of my seven […]

Conversation..

Person 1: what are those scares from?
Me: These scars? There battle scars.
Person 2: what or who where you battling?
Me: myself.

Suicide thoughts are just that thoughts, anyone crieing out about this needs help, as very few will even attept it. I on the other hand am way beyound it, and now found a more appropriate measure stay here and engulf the punishment inflick as much pain and long as possible. This will kept you isolated within your own mind, until !!!

Ok, so by the title yu can see that im new soo i dont really know what to say right now. im 16 years old, my daddy died a month ago. he was my rock, the only person i really had… but now that he passed i live with my drunk whore of a mother. shes told me 100 times she doesnt care about me. she calls me a ***** and a slut. i know ima slut but im honestly not a *****. i can act lik a ***** when someone gives me a reason but other than that im a nice person. iv been […]

I don’t even know why I made this. I’m just so depressed right now. Even when I’m happy I could kill myself. Honestly the only reason I’m still here is my family. They’ve already been through so much shit. And I don’t want them to blame themselves. But I’m just always so fuking sad. I don’t see my life ever changing. Isn’t it wrong to keep someone here who hates it so much? I think so. I’ve been trying for so long, but things never get better, only worse. I’m sacred about what comes after death though ya know? I just want to die and […]

Nothing matters anymore. I’ll end this freakin’ shit on Monday. I already bought all my remerons and tomorrow I’ll buy some alcohol. It should do the job.

Seriously, nothing matters. I was once told: “you always feel this and that and it never matters a damn thing.” And now everything I do makes my bf who I live with, upset. If I feel bad about him calling me names, or leaving all the household choirs for me, or him being in the internet with his cell when we’re doing something together, I am a drama queen who’s always mad about everything he does. I have to feel […]

Okay, so I find myself coming on to this site for emotional support, even though I only made an account yesterday. So anyways, let me tell all of you on here now, that I’ve recently started cutting. I’ve been cutting for about a month now, and I can’t say that I’m proud of it, cause I shouldn’t be, that’s why I hide it behind my clothes and bracelets, etc. but one day, I decided to tell my friend L. who also cuts, so I thought she would empathize with me. She did, she really did. she asked me why, and at the time I said […]

I filed for a bankruptcy and got some of the numbers wrong.  My lawyer says she can correct them without me getting in trouble or going to jail.  My mind is whirling out of control that I’m going to federal prison.  Along with that I have a relative that’s locked up in a high-profile case which could put me in danger if I was convicted and sentenced.  I won’t know what’s happening in my bankruptcy case for a couple weeks but in the interim I’ve contemplated suicide via firearm.  If I get in trouble/convicted I will not be able to do prison time without possibly […]

Have I ever told you that I’ve been raped by my cousin before. Yes I have, but you said there isn’t any thing that we could do.
Have I ever told you that I’ve always thought my life was similar to everyone else until I saw what a “real” family is like, and how what I’ve encountered is not in the “average/normal” range…
Have I ever told you I thought of suicide at the age of six, and still hasn’t seen a thing that makes me genuinely wants to continue to stay in this world
Have I ever told you that my emotions are fluctuating […]

HI,IAM ALISON OF 13YRS..I LIVE IN MALAYSIA…… I USED TO BE A VERY HAPPY GIRL ,A FUN LOVING GIRL….WHO ALL LOVED ALOT!!…BUT NOW IAM JUST IN DEPRESSION  ITS BEEN  3 MONTHS SINCE A BOY NAMED RALPH DUMPED ME !..HE SAID HE DOESNT LOVE ME ANYMORE!!.HE SAID I SHOULD MOVE ON !!..NOW THAT I CANT MOVE ON I WANT TO DIE ..I DONT WANNA LIVE IN THIS WORLD !IVE CRIED ALOT AND IAM TIRED OF CRYING MORE….PLS HELP ME …….. MY EYES HURT I GET NO SLEEP IN THE NIGHTS IVE TRIED ALOT TO FORGET HIM BUT I LOVE HIM TOO MUCH!..HE GOT A GIRL HE’S […]

a position to fill that can always be replaced. no one ever sees the person, just the title. everyone expects the outcome, they don’t appreciate the progress.

this worker bee is tired of being unappreciated.when gone, the honey will still be there

Ive lost a lot recently, including my self respect, my pride, and my sense of care.
I feel like a zombie. Just wandering throughout my life, devouring the souls of people who seem to be alive.
I know for certain that there is no more good left in the world.
It started when He took him…then Her. The only two people left whose hearts were as pure as God’s fingertips.
And when those parts of me fell off, I tried, really, to forget and build new relationships with new people but I have failed me greatly.
My mind has told my heart that I will […]

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