For general topics related to the site.
What’s Destiny? To me, it’s the thing that gets formed by every choice we ever make, and everybody’s destiny is intertwined and if one person messes up their own life, it’ll affect everybody else. Maybe like the butterfly/hurricane theory? Dunno.. Just wanna hear someone’s opinion.
On September 29, 2010, three young teens took their lives.
Asher brown, age 13, shot himself.
Ramond Chase, age 19, hung himself in his dorm room.
And Seth Walsh, age 13, hung himself.
Please remember these names as you go throughout your day.
Generally, I’m willing to help people.
But I’m losing that now.
Do people really need me anymore? I tried ending it all last night, but it didn’t work.
Generally, I want to help you all and I most of the time try to make people feel better, but not today.
If anyone needs to talk, they can email me.
It’s brl.cents@gmail.com
I’ll try to be kind to you.
My parents are fighting about money again. Â Bitching about how much money mom doesn’t make. Â It’s really really hard for this to not affect me. Â And it seems like all he ever does is belittle my mom. Â He’s trying to force her to get a different job, one that she doesn’t enjoy.
Since people have not been following the sites rules I thought I would post about week 4 of the greatest sport in the world, the N.F.L. Hear me out though as it is also a post about depression
Ravens Vs Browns game was a no brainier for many people on Thursday night but the Browns did put up a good fight in the end.
Bills Vs Patriots will be huge as will the Jets Vs the 49’ers
Chiefs Vs Chargers will be a good match off game against to teams
and the Bengals Vs Jaguars will be great against two average teams fighting for top dog, with this sort […]
It’s too loud to act upon inspiration.
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Silence cannot be gained when humans are awake.
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Useless talking and a response of irritation.
Talking commences and whining ensues.
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Just shut up already. Â You have no point.
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Why are you still making noise.
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Go to sleep and stop hanging around me,
creating bothersome sound and pushing me around.
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Silence falls when humans sleep,
the world comes back to life while minstrels weep.
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You can probably tell I’m not in the best mood. Â If you can’t, just know that whenever I write poetry and such, I’m probably not in the best of moods. Â Not necessarily angry or depressed. Â Just not positive.
you know people around you don’t like you and don’t give a crap about you?
I could ditch them, but then I’d be alone, and with nothing to do, I’d stay home and mope even more and be more depressed.
Easy to say just make new friends. Â But I haven’t made a real “friend” in years. Â I just don’t understand why I can’t connect with people (or why people can’t connect to me), and why people don’t like me. Â How can I get people to like me? Â Like for real?
I sort of have people to hang out with sometimes, but it’s not real.
What needs to end?
Me.
I need to end.
Life’s getting out of control.
What needs to end, is me.
But I have to stay strong, and keep going.
Things will get better over time.
Who am I kidding.
It will just get worse over time.
I want to thank everyone, who brings me down, so low.
So low in fact, I have thoughts of killing myself.
And when the day comes, that you bring me so low. So low where I can’t get back up & brush myself off.
I hope […]
someone once told me
“youe need to be selfless and put on a smile and pretend your ok because everything you do efects the people you love and the people around you”
so thats what ive been doing my entire life hiding my pain my regret my longing everything i dnt smile anymore at least not a real smile or a real laugh
i thought he was the only one who cared because he understood but i guess i was wrong
my parents both told me they didnt want me living with eather of them
yes im lost and i dnt think ill ever be found
im surounded by darkness but i […]
Wrapped in a catacomb, bound by my fears
Insanity knocks, as doomsday is near
I open the door, and let it walk in
To take me to ruins, to show me the end
Lucid at times, and fearing what’s next
But insanity reassures me, I’ll enjoy the big wreck
I’ll glow in the torment, that takes over my mind
And relish in darkness, that is so easy to find
I will walk in the pestialance, that grows oh so near
But will not feel the sickness, as I face my own fear
I glance at the shell, that once held my life
And I know now at […]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JJGm79WT7E
So I consumed alcohol for the first time, for no reason. I’m 14 years old, by the way. For the past few days I have not sense much depression, but mild anxiety. I have not eating that much except being in extreme thirst for the past two days, and today for the first time I had the strong urge to consume a fruity cocktail. (clearly has alcohol) And I’m sort of craving for more, but not going to.
Why is it that I had this sudden urge too? It’s a fruity flavor alcohol as well, and I added it onto my juice…
I’ve landed back at my mom’s after yet another bipolar misfortune and It’s just torture to see how happy they are here. I am the weird vampire with  permanently shut curtains in an enclosed chamber that forcibly goes out only when strictly necessary. Still the door is not thick enough to prevent my family’s loud and constant laugher from reaching my ears. I get to hear their phone conversations and how they constantly make plans to meet others, go out to restaurants, country houses, trips and even to have sex. I want to strangle them. They once asked me, would you rather all of us […]
I feel dead. I feel worthless. I feel useless. I feel sad. I feel hopeless. I feel pathetic.
I lack any positive feelings. All day. Everyday.
Dread fills my mind, body & soul.
I want it to end.
I want to end it.
I don’t have it in me to go on with any of it.
I just want it all to end.
I wish I knew what happened to that cheerful, would-be artist of yesteryear. I’m always longing to return to the days when I felt the passion and joy of artistic creation. Painting fixed everything back then, now it feels like a chore. I hardly draw anymore and even my recent fascination with writing is fading away. The bad days are beginning to outnumber the good, but I’m too scared to end it all. I’m not a good person, but I want to change. Oh, what I wouldn’t give to change! I hate myself and I don’t know why, but I can’t make it stop and […]
Sex: No matter what trends come and go, no matter what the politicians, priests and parents tell you, sex will always be a priority. Scientists rank it as #2, just behind self preservation. Religions can tell you it’s good or bad, government can control it or liberate it, parents can condone it or forbid it…all in all, you’re still going to have sex. It is the primal urge that supersedes anything that anyone could ever teach you. It is the “animal” in us that refuses to die.
Drugs: The drugs referred to in the phrase “sex, drugs and rock and roll are considered “recreational drugs”. Most […]
I am a 40 year old married father of 2 piece of shit. I have been trying to kill myself since the age of 8 and never finished the job because I am afraid. I am diagnosed w/ bi-polar disorder/PTSD/ADHD. I am unemployed and draining the life out of my family. I have no purpose on this earth, no talent and no drive. I am on 6 medications and my wife has been stealing my anti-anxiety, ADHD and sleeping meds. When I confront her she just denies everything and says I’m crazy. I may be emotionally disabled, but I am not retarded, so […]
The worst place is being stuck somewhere between life and death. Having given up living or making any real effort at life I’m just stuck in this degenerative state. Void of hope or plans or positivity, I’m just here existing, barely. Watching painfully as everyone else around me if moving forward and I just seem to be sinking deeper and deeper daily. A therapist I saw a few times asked me if I was going to kill myself, I told him that I was more scared that I would not be able to than if I would. I don’t have a plan only […]
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