General

i am freaking out right now, over absolutely nothing. my anxiety is acting up, and i’m about to cry. i have no way to calm down but listening to music and i can’t do that because i’ll get yelled at for it. i don’t know what to do at all. i’m afraid i’ll end up having thoughts of suicide, as i do almost everyday, only sometimes i act on it.

hey my name is angelenia schneider,

ive done many things in my past. Ive regreted so much.. My reason for suicide is im trying so hard to help people who are going through this and i cant. the reason for this is because i want to help so bad…. ahhhhh

fuck

ill be famous for talking one day. about my story.. but right now it feels like i cant go on anymore

Its bad enough I want to kill myself but I also want to kill others.. Not just anyone but certain ppl close to me….. I love to hit things nd ppl.. So I’ve decided to join wrestling… I wud love to be able to choke sum one out knowing I cud possibly kill them if I wanted to….

I’ve been writing a book for about a year here’s an excerpt from it.

I felt, once again, that my heart had been ripped out of my chest and torn into shreds. I wish i could explain the way i feel, all the pain and sadness; I don’t know what to do. I’m confused, why do I have to be put through this? I wish I could be normal and be able to do whatever Outsiders do, it’s got to be better than being in here. Normal on the Inside is to be wary of everybody, even your roommate of three years because they could snap […]

I used to use tv as an escape. Like I hated my own life so much, though it was so pathetic and meaningless, that I would just sit and watch tv all day long- to get invested in character’s live and live vicariously through theres because they had something significant with their stories. Now just watching tv makes me feel even more depressed. I can’t stand the fact that my life is no where near what it should be and watching tv just makes met feel even more inadequate about my own. So now its like the only thing that kept me even somewhat sane […]

1) bf and i are back together..happy, yet really depressed that i took him back again-_-
2) i have been starving for 4 days I WANTED FOOD so i make a grilled cheese my dad catches me and says “what the fuck u think ur doing? ur ganna get so fat no guy will want u..u shouldve continued with fasting, it wouldve done good” and when i started crying “SHUT UP! ur being the biggest fucking baby! i didnt think id ever get a daughter this horrible” umm yeah:/ hes mean sometimes
3) i now have 100 new scars all over me

– this is […]

I have every answer to heal the world to stop depression, to cure all illness, create eternal bliss an love in life!!

But I am only an intelligent slave, I can’t be a slave, it drives me crazy looking at how the world suffers for no reason. I was raised better then most. I got everything I ever asked for, but I rather die because I am not a one up person. I don’t want to have more then people, I want equality, I want love, I want happiness, I want FREEDOM FROM WORK, FORCED LABOR IS RIDICULOUS WITH MACHINES THAT CREATE ABUNDANCE WE CREATE SLAVERY […]

Nobodys going to be home tonight
When the silence gets too loud
When the dim light from the window
Becomes my only friend
Im feeling a little suicidal
Would you care to join me?
Ill bring the pills
You bring the gun
Itll be fun
Trust me

It’s raining harder than I’ve seen in 15 years. I’m sitting in my car facing the boat launch typing this on my phone. My stupid fucking phone that’s responsible for all the hell I’ve suffered  for 2 years. But we’ll get to that later.

Or maybe not… The engine is running, and I have it in gear with my left foot holding the clutch down. As soon as I release it, the engine wil engage, and 120 horses will drag me over that launch and into the waters of whatever-the-hell river this is. My foot is getting tired…

I took 8 sleeping pills which is more than […]

Everyone is such in a rush, doing there own thing…. No time for me, no care for me, to include me in anything. These strange beings called ‘people’ just judge and harm others constantly, they see one thing and think its another, they dont stop to understand anything and just hate… I’m sick of this hate and misunderstandings…

The biggest thing that’s bee completely ruined is gay people, they parade around and give a horrible message about what it is… Lust and sex? is that what they want people to think? Cause they’re doing a good job at beings total flaming faggots letting people think thats […]

I have a boyfriend. We’ve been going out for almost 9 months. NO, I’m not killing myself over him. I broke up with him today. I realized that I depend on him for everything. When I wake up in the morning before school I text him. During the day I’m always leaving class first so I can see him in passing period. When I get home I call him right away. I’m one of the least but busy persons out there. I never have anything to do. I barely have any friends, only the ones I talk to at school. But I never really […]

Everyone seems to hate me. No one wants to talk to that weird and annoying emo girl who sits in the front of the class.

Please don’t tell me not to do it.  I just want some information about suicide while jumping in front of a train. How do you actually do it, like just jump in front of the train or just stand on the rails and wait for the train to hit you? Is it painless? And what are the chances you succeed? Thanks -Crashhy x

i just want to end it all. i just want to cry and cut and bleed until there’s nothing left in me.