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So I had a meeting with the mental health team in June 2011 then a meeting with the Head Shrink in December 2011 the next? August 2012 which was postponed still waiting! Do they really care? Of course not what a waste of space they are how about doing it in front of their office? That would be good then they could have a seriuos case review and learn the lessons from my case!!
A genuine request anyone especially in the UK that I can talk to? It would be nice to talk to someone who has been there who understands, what is real? Good or bad I am really struggling to understand. Time to finish or struggle on and why? The negs I get at home even the weather is my fault! Nothing but nothing that I do will ever be good enough so why bother?
I hate being so close to leaving all of my pain behind and then randomly backing out of it… i wish i could stop being such a chicken…
when I’m really considering doing it (off depression this time),
people I haven’t talked to in months randomly PM me (they don’t know I think of suicide) or I’ll meet people I haven’t seen in months/years on the streets
maybe we’re all connected after all .. too bad it no longer means much to me
I’m starting to believe that if I go through with it, it will actually work .. free as a fucking bird
no more room for doubt .. I gotta clear my mind of beliefs that would compromise self-imposed deliverance
Things have reached a climax today, its 20:50 in London. I know for sure I don’t have the resources to pull things back. If anyone realise how bad I am they will have me sectioned and I would rather die than be sectioned again. So midnight tonight I end it
then free I will be
death is the most beautiful thing that can happen to anyone who doesn’t accept this world the way it is
to anyone who doesn’t want to play by dirty rules
to anyone who wants to be him/herself without paying the price for it (hostile behavior from the sheeple, feelings of alienation, homelessness etc)
to anyone who doesn’t want to serve humanity nor God
to anyone who doesn’t want to be talked or drugged into enjoying being here
to anyone who’s eager to no longer be a part of the human species
to anyone who desires to be free above anything else
so yeah, FUCK your pro-life arguments .. […]
Just want to get this of my chest, i am suicidal, have been for about 6 months now. Feels like im grasping at straws here.
This is the story. I grew up in a home with alot of conflict and negative energy, but also with alot of love and care. There where specially one very grave voilent episode when i was a child, and also other incidentes, but not of so grave character. Dispait of this me and my siblings grew up and did very good in school and sports, but i don´t think any of us was and still are (naturally) unaffected by the nature […]
so the summer of my 19th year has come to the climax of failing half my first year exams and continuing to fuck up during the holiday that followed, so it’s unlikely I’ll make it back to university, precipitating the major crash and burn i’ve had coming for a while i suppose
i’ve recently overdosed on ecstasy a few times, taken some desperate nights out in cities far from home and with strangers and just generally been ‘that guy’.. i did have close friends, but along with a sane home life it’s all just disintegrated and basically i’m half working to pass my exams to get […]
idk. the guilt of leaving but the pain of living..idk what to do..stay or leave….
I have often been the kind of person to sit and slag other people off for wanting to commit suicide until one day i realised what it means to no longer want to live. I want to go away and die and look over my family now that my world has done me over. I once had it all and now i have nothing anymore so i’m ready to say goodbye all i want is for it to be painless like most of the other posters on this site. Please help me find a pain free way of leaving this world. I have contacted Dignitas […]
I estimate this fight has been going on for a grueling decade now. As a juvenile I made an attempt. It’s been my only attempt. However, the thoughts never subsided. I learned in this last year that they can get worse. But I still try to carry on. Act as though they don’t exist. These thoughts are very much real I’m sad to say.
Ive tried seeking help. I started by informing my family. As they did when I was a juvenile, it was brushed off. I’ve learned to not tell them much about my life. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t abused as child. I […]
http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Eleanor_Roosevelt
The Rock pushes me to keep driving my body forward; Roosevelt settles my mind when it all starts feeling too fruitless/nihilistic.
In my mind, I’ve separated death and dying. Death is the one thing I look forward to, when I can just finally stop, cease to exist, back to 0; the weight of this flesh body finally lifted as my consciousness disperses into the cosmos. I don’t think that people are anything more than walking flashlights and I really can’t wait for my batteries to run out. No more guilt, no more expectations, no more desires; just nothing. […]
crap… just fuck and whatever…
Im freakin alive… Urgh…
I like am sure Im gonna die, I mean I drank 20 times the normal amount! It says in research that what I drank (200 mg) is lethal since one girl died of suicide by drinking 240 mg of what I drank…
damn damn damn it all!!!
i WAS FREAKIN FREAKED OUT… i WANNA TRY AGAIN BUT HELL… Â What am I gonna do now… I didnt plan far ahead… FUCK
what I drank isnt over the counter, its even seriously strong… when I drink one for my allergies, I get knocked out seriously… but I did 20!!! oh man… and Im here, […]
I want to start by saying that I’m quite damaged. Just like many I’ve been through some things. Lots of things. Complicated and simple. I have hope. But don’t take that so fully. Don’t eat it, sip it. Lasts longer. It’s early in the morning so I’ll do these in parts as I’m sleepy again. I hope you are able to find a ray of hope in each part.
I’m obviously still alive. Why? I do not know, but a spark is still with me. Whether I admit to it or not. It’s there. In middle school I had this spark when my grades were failing, […]
So this will be a long one. I am 20 years old and a trainee hairdresser, I had Meningitis when I was 4, I live with my boyfriend and my housemates in a house share, I have depression and anxiety and I cannot cope with my emotions. I suppose things started to be difficult for me when I was 8 years old, I had a pyscological issue where everytime I got in the car I needed to go to the toilet desperately, this was also at a time when my Dad hit me quite frequently. I saw a therapist about the problem and it was all […]
while on this site iv noticed several times people saying “they just want sypmpathy” to another user as if thats a bad thing. wanting some sympathyisnt bad, sympathy is someone trying to understand what its like to be you or empathise where they have gone throught the same thing or something similar. the right ammount of sympathy is goos, sometimes you need someone to let everything out to and for them to just listen with the occassional symppathetic comment, not solutions, a solution isnt always needed right then. i dont think sympathys a bad thing, what about you?
i knew i couldn’t kill myself… why even hope to be free of everything?
The title really says it all. I’m having a lot of flashbacks from different difficults parts of my life and I just want them to stop or at least reduce. So does anyone have any hints or tricks on how to stop/reduce them?
CPC
So this is probably going to sound dumb but I’m extremely depressed over my recent break up I don’t want to go into details because I feel it won’t help. After my break up things began to get worse, I found out my grandma is very sick and is getting worse each month and there’s nothing I can do for her at all, can’t even see her. I haven’t been able to make enough money to stay in school and financial aid keeps denying me, my friends just don’t seem to understand my struggles in my life and kind of seemed annoyed that I keep bringing certain things up. I also feel like […]
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