For general topics related to the site.
And by ridiculous I mean stupid.. Lol
The Beatles – I’m a loser
Category:
General
I’ve never complained. Never whined about how horrible it is to wake up, never screamed at the people who call me lazy, when simply existing takes everything I have. Nothing bad has ever happened to me. I can’t cry about not having a mom to love me, bad friends, abuse, rape.. all I can say is that I don’t want to live. Thinking back n my life I never had that drive to live. Never. The one person I dared to talk with about this made me regret it every time. I have never trusted people, never let anyone inside my head. I now […]
i have been doing good in the last three weeks.Now i really dont know what to do.My voices have suddenly come back with a vengance.They were really quiet and i was fine.Hearing them a little is normal.But lately there pretty loud and constant.I wont call anyone theyll just bring the cops.I dont hate cops unless i have too deal with them so i try to stay away.My insanity is increasing day by day. I will possibly end up in the hospital for an attempt.I dont know what else to do two of my therapist are sick one i dont see my main therapist till monday.And […]
Life is just luck of the draw
I wish I was luckier. Life has been going down hill for such a long time, and honestly I’m not sure I can endure.
I’m growing so tired, even my health is declining. I feel so sick, and I’m only 18
Life doesn’t seem to hopeful, and its not just because I’m young,
everything in this world is controlled by might, by power, and I, have no power
Sure, everything is in the mind, illusion and manipulation, but honestly I’m so tired
This world is full of the mindless, the uncaring and ignorant
So many horrible things are […]
As you can tell by my new post I didn’t hang myself!! I went and talked to my aunt and she is going to help out. My son and I will be moving into her garage apartment this weekend which is a huge help because she is only going to charge me $200 a month for rent and food! She called her church and tonight I got a huge bag of clothes for Broox!!! Little man is styling in his new batman pjs as we speak.
As I’m writing this Broox is laying beside me sleeping with his little legs thrown over onto mine and I […]
i have been in 5 other long distance relationships and this one with u is the hardest. probably cuz my love for all 5 others combined doesnt equal the love i have for u, i love the way we both dream of us being face to face one day, how u say i mean more to u then ur life, how u say u wanna mary me, how u make me feel incredibly happy when i hear from u how no matter the distance its always like im right next to u how every morning when im bout to wake up i think ur right […]
And because it has no meaning, it’s just a drag…
Hi guys,
I’m just new here at this website and for a long time I keep myself seeking things related to suicide on internet and I got really into it after my life got really sux around six years ago. (I have a really large problem that cannot be solved easily)
Nowadays I hate the major I’ve chosen (since 2005 and I still not graduated!!), my job, where I live, my routine and my completely life. I read many testimonials here today and maybe I decided to start to share what brings me down everyday and my permanent nightmare.
I don’t expect any help from you, but sharing […]
My name is Brittnee and I am 20 years old! I have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and sentenced to a life of medication and therapist analyzing my every thought and move! I have been a cutter for 6 years and after my recent suicide attempt my parents made me move back home and my mother does a ~fresh cut check~ every single night. That’s where I have to go into her room and strip down to my bra and panties and she checks my body for new cuts! It’s humiliating. If I do have new cuts I am taken to the behavioral health […]
well last night i lost it and dumped the rest of my pills down my throat…i wish i were like the restof youwhere i could drone on and make some huge intresting explaination about what happened but i cant…i feel like a real ass not expressing my issues because now you guys think i make them up right? Well here goesmy explaination:you dont know how it feels to wake up everyday and be drowned wit annoying bothersome voices and demons who leap onto you and rip your soul out! You dont know how it feels to always long for suicide, to always look down at […]
I’m taking a class right now that requires me to write a persuasive essay on something that I’m passionate about. Â I’m not really passionate about anything but I think about suicide most of the time. Â That not really being a topic I feel like writing an essay about, it got me thinking further and I decided that, legalizing Euthanasia for terminally ill patients, would be a pretty controversial argument to present. Â I would like to present it as being beneficial for the individual as well as society. Â I am asking for anyone’s input on how they feel about this subject whether they are for it […]
so i love swimming, i realized why i love it so much. the water. the pool in my neighborhood is HUGE and the area around it is big to i love to run from the gate and a huge leap in the air and be swallowed by the water while im under water thoughts rush through my mind and i can think. its so peaceful and i feel safe. i love swimming but only under water, the feeling of be short of air,the calmness of not hearing anyone call my name to do stuff for them. its amazing. nothing else like it. i love the […]
I don’t know what to do. I feel like I had a connection with somebody on here and they just posted they were killing themselves and now they aren’t responding. I feel helpless. Kallie_Jayde if you see this please let me know if you are okay PLEASE
I keep having mental and nervous breakdowns over the stupidest things. For one, when ever i think of my job (subway) i wanna break down crying because i hate it so much. Just having the dog pee on my bed will set me off into a huge crying and sobbing episode that will last for hours. I have panic attacks when that happens. I am seeing a psychiatrist and i dont know how to bring up the fact that i think i need xanax or ativan or something because when i have those episodes i become very suicidal. I have bipolar by the way so […]
I appreciate  everybody who has tried to help me but i cant go on living! I have taken the pills just waiting to fall asleep now! I hope you guys  find your way!
I enjoy life, but life hurts and abuses me. I smile and laugh at the little things, while being degraded and yelled at. I smile every day because I forgive and forget, everyday I am mentally abused and given a new reason to cry. However, I can’t cry with my eyes so my heart hurts for me in exchange for my smile. I laugh and things seem to fade away and release me from my worries, but he knows exactly what to say to crush me.  Everyday I trade my pain for a genuine smile, I let myself forget, I let myself go on without letting it […]
Just as everything seems to get better, something comes and ruins that little bit of happiness that was finally there. That something is usually feelings either brought up from a comment another person makes or because it just develops in ourselves. It sucks, especially when we were finally happy. Sometimes I guess what we just aren’t meant to be happy.
Song I’m listening to right now.
I’ve done alot since my last post. I’m being usually creative. My friends are wowed and my parents are impressed. I’m not. It won’t matter in a few years anyway. No matter how many photos I snap or how hard I work the garden, how many times I do simple things to make my and others lives better I’m still unhappy. Even though a smile is weakly plastered on my face. I’m pushing myself to the limits before I die.
No matter if a happy event comes to me or not I will say this. That fear has […]
I had a nervous breakdown when my husband didnt want the son I was carrying, I had a nervous breakdown when my son was diagnosed with cancer, I had a nervous breakdown when I went bankrupt, I had a nervous breakdown when my whole family abandoned me, I had a nervous breakdown when my husband didnt want the daughter I was carrying, I had a nervous breakdown when my mom died, I had a nervous breakdown when my gran and primary caregiver died, I had a nervous breakdown when the rest of my family abandoned me, and now again when going bankrupt again. How […]
i find the only way to stop my mind turning so much is music, and to sleep or stop going insane if i listen to music its like it orders my thoughts more, or they have a soundtrack to dance to so they dont run into each other and cause more hurt.
i should sleep now, but i seem to want to hang with other suicidals in the internets, ah i hardly recognise myself.