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What is a more rational choice: killing yourself or spending entire life in solitary confinement?
Why?
If anyone is interested to read about someone else who really is going through life much the same as many of us, I invite you to follow my blog at http://depressioninreallife.blogspot.com/ It’s more of just a journal, but I invite you to comment with your own experiences.
Well I got back from my friends, and it wasnt as awkward as I thought. It was normal, and even my other friend who came over today and didnt know about it. After he found out I lost 6 pounds taking them he made polite jokes about them instead of asking the usual questions such as why do you need to take those. It was just…great. It really seemed happy. Not even seemed..I really felt happy. When I got home I kinda lost the little high feeling I felt,but I dont feel like im about to have a breakdown like I did Tuesday.
Oo and interesting […]
I was chatting with my doctor today about depression
He recommended taking St Johns Wort.You can but it in Wal Mart or any health food store, It has been used for years in Europe, with some very positive results. Im starting today, I will let you know how it goes.
Below is a link to a great website, and it has an extensive forum with testimonials and other information.
Have a Look
Cheers
http://www.sjwinfo.org/
It is terrible to live with so much tension. I have had so much psychiatric treatment that my mind is going blank and it is difficult to think creatively anymore. My family doctor has also recommended that I belong to the addictions population, the people that have severe difficulties in life. I have so much trauma that I wish to kill myself, except I am afraid of pain. My parents are aging and when they get older, according to Chinese custom, I may not be able to take care of them; rather, their care may belong to someone else. I am hated by many – […]
It’s been so bad all day today, and now it’s nearly time to face the dark. Alone. My thoughts have been running marathons all day, and I see no sign of the excruciating turmoil inside of me letting up.
Once again, the horrible days where I am so physically sick from this, I can’t move, and so emotionally fucked I start losing track of which thoughts are rational and which are not, are the days when I have no one. The times where I am paralyzed with fear and flashbacks and lonliness… they are the nights that I suffer alone.
I guess I do have one small […]
I hate being one, and I’m sure you do too. But you know, sometimes it can’t be helped.
I see people struggling to get through life, and I try to help them. I tell them it will get better. I try to give them hope.
But you know, I don’t feel that way. I refuse for people to get close to me because I’m a worthless *****. I’ve given up hope. I don’t think it will ever get better.
Of course, being the hypocrite I am, I will say that all I want to do is die, but I don’t want you to because […]
My family is moving, but I don’t want to. I’m not old enough to live on my own, and it sucks. I grew up in this house, I love this house. I can run around in the dark with my eyes closed and know where everything is.
But, even though I love this house, pain lingers in the air for me. I refuse to die in a new house that I do not feel comfortable in. I know this house like all my scars. I remember when I was just a child, carefree and happy.
In the new house, I will have to make new […]
There was a moment in my life, where I stopped wanting things, stopped loving things,I just feel empty, joyless and disappointed.
Nothing seems to fulfill the void in my heart. Where you just can’t move forward, you stop walking, watch everyone move on and leave you behind and you’re just standing there, waiting for nothing.
The pain grows and you can’t even look back nor go ahead in your life. its seems as if you want to understand what you want, where are you going first, and you look at everyone, they don’t care, they just want to level up, and i wonder, do they even know […]
so ive been on here because of a girl, her name was kaylee and she pretty much treated me like shit for me doing nothing at all. but i’ve gotten over her and im so glad that i did because i don’t deserve any of that crap i found a way better girl that i know is not going to treat me like that. so i hope that girl out there actually realizes how bad she hurt me. like it just hits her one day or she gets hurt with the guy she’s with, just to see how it feels… her lying to me that […]
I had a dream last night that I had a baby girl. Then almost emmidiately she was a toddler, and I kept trying to hold her, keep her little. But within 20 min, she was pretty much a teenager… I wanted to keep her little, at least for a while. No one should be forced to grow up so fast….
Since I was young my parents wanted me on medicine along with therapy. Since I didn’t have a choice I took them. as prescribed until I came down with the worse side affects. Zoloft the robotic smiles, Prozac this motor tics, Amitriptiline the chest rock and zombie mind.
My father. I’ve prayed he should die since whatever this is has taken over him. He’s teasing is worse and he thinks it’s ok. My mom is super submissive so she tags along. I still don’t trust her. He tease about me not moving fast enough yesterday in 100 degree heat and 79% humidty as I made pigs […]
My mind pulls daily in a this or that row. Should I do this or Should I do that. Back and forth between decisions. Which is better? Which is worse? This or that? What is heavier? This or that? Which is riskier? This or that.
Fighting what I can control and unsure what I cannot. Was it this or that? Go here or there? They say having a choice is a grand thing. A blessing. It’s also a great responsibility you must not take for granted. So should I do this? Or should I do that? This one? Or that one? Farther? or Nearer? My […]
I finally found a way to end my miserable existence and I could not be happier. My mother knows how depressed I have been and wanted to “Just get away from things” so she has signed me up for a hiking camp. I could not be more excited. We’re going to go cliff-climbing and I can’t wait. I plan to jump from one of those cliffs. My depression cannot be cured with words or actions, only miracles. I can’t wait to pass onto the final frontier. I no longer care if that will be endless nothingness or a vast new dimension for my broken soul. […]
idk if venom was a boy or girl, i assume girl, has anyone seen her? haven’t been on here too much lately but ive noticed i havent seen any posts of hers
I’m 26. Bipolar, student, mom. When I was a teenager my father shot himself and survived(thankfully) in our home. Every since that day my life change forever. I wasn’t the happy girl anymore. I thought as I got older things would get better, but my husband recently left us. I was abused in just about every way, but I am beyond sad over this loss. I constantly think about death and suicide. I also feel like a horrible parent. I wanted nothing more than to have a happy family for my son, but our home life was a nightmare. But now I have no one […]
Hey! This letter is for Mary Ann(Marika)in Finland.
I hope your reading this.
So much has change since i met you here around a year ago.
I understand your reasons and motives very well, but i feel you asked the wrong person for advice. Then again so did Alex from Scotland.
But ultimately Marika you were right. We all at the end of the day do want to be “free” to decide our of destiny. I say “free” in caps, because in reality we do not have any REAL freedom. All is under the controll of god.
And Marika as much as i hate to say this, you may […]
How does one cope with the monotony of life. Dead end jobs. Pointless relationships. Living for the weekend..
Is it really fair to say I want to commit suicide, if I feel like I’ve never really lived at all.
I thought giving up smoking drinking and drugs, while taking on exercise and healthy eating would improve my life but no. The little joy I had left in my life is gone.
I start work in a few hours, haven’t slept in a few days thinking about this. Is tonight the night. I’ve picked up the knife so many times already and pussied out, but this time I can […]
Sorry I’m annoying. Sorry I cut. Sorry I’m fat. Sorry I hate myself. Sorry I’m ugly. Sorry I’m suicidal. Sorry I’m messed up. Sorry I’m not perfect. I’m sorry for ruining y, I’m sorry for ruining mine. But most of all I’m sorry for being a BURDEN..