General

the reason i haven’t been eating properly is because I’m trying to lose weight, or become skinny… i weigh 117. and I’m 14 years old…i just want one of those “perfect” body’s that most girls i see have.

i used to weigh 120….

i know that 117 isn’t fat or heavy…. its just…. i hate my body!!

-Morgan…….RawrImaTurtle!..

In life everyone has challenges. All different kinds – physical, mental, situational. These do not define you. What defines you is your character and personality, not your looks.

My advice is pretty simple for everyone struggling – Become the Person You Want to Meet.

Free your mind from worries. Free your mind from hate. All negativity is like cancer, it eats away at you slowly and painfully until you have little life left. All positivity is like regrowth and renewal.

What defines you is the choices you allow, because ultimately, both of them you allow into your life. But one destroys life and one creates life.

I […]

Howdy.

Not much to say about me. I’m your average Swedish guy, turning 22 this summer, with no desire for life.

I could give you my entire back story here, but I’ll just skip to the relevant bits. I have pretty much one passion. Writing, recording and performing music. I’ve played keyboards/piano since the age 0f 9, then bass guitar since 16, guitar since 17 and drums since 18, and I’ve been singing for as long as I can remember. It’s pretty much my way to vent.

Over the past year and a half, I’ve thought of suicide more times than I care to remember, made about five […]

one post on this site and i feel so much better. knowing that there ARE people who care enough to comment, to tell me what i’m experiencing. it makes me feel a bit like a human being again. thank you so much, i’ve never known this kind of understanding before. and for everyone out there who’s ever helped someone on this site, and is thinking of taking their life: you’ve helped someone. that means you mean something to them, which means you DO matter. don’t give up hope.

To prove that I was doinq bad I showed my social worker my scars.Later on close to the end of the day my dean pulled me outta class.I walked Into a room were my mom,my social worker were In.My soical worker told me to show my mom the pictureI said no.She started talkinq to me about scars.She told me that she would like for me to qo bac to the hospital.(HELL NO!)I was okay yeah Ill do It.What I’m really qonna do Is my mom Is qonna drop me off at the hospital and when she leaves Ima start my new life as a homeless […]

After having not smoked for about a year, I went to Walgreens and bought a pack last night.
I hate myself.

“I think that the little bit of faith in humanity that I was holding onto finally slipped through my fingers. My fears of persecution were realized last night as I was taunted and called a sociopath. The whole night confirms thoughts that I’ve been having for a year or so, that if I want to be happy, I’m going to have to change back to who I was to do it. I can’t be myself or share my real opinion because I just end up alienating myself. I spent 3 years figuring out who I was and my real opinion and now that I finally […]

Guys and girls, i know this is not the right place to ask for this but trust me i have tried everything else and i have nothing.

guys when i say that i have lost everything, please do take my word for it that i have lost everything. and frankly and honestly i just need to end my life. anyhow.

frankly speaking guys i am just a loser, nothing else, just a loser. and yes, i have tried suicide attempts but i am so shit out of luck that i have survived in every attempt. dont know how, dont know why, but i survived. Tried drinking organophosphate […]

does it ever get easier? will i ever be happy again. i feel so worn out. i feel so done with it all. i know i want to impact the world with my storie and others. but will the world open up and liisten or am i just dranging my life on to a dead end? will someone please help me..

I close my eyes as I go threw the things in my mind. I feel the pain in the past come back. It hurts. I start to remember things I tried to forgetAbout how A tear comes down my face. I can’t believe the little things that was said , hurt as bad as it did. My heart  use to races my body would  shakes. Tears started streams in the past like decorations down my face. Who would I know I would cry that much. who would of know I would die deep inside. My  heart broke , and my chest began to ache. My head hurts […]

What a sunny day today.. -30 i guess, but sun is shinning..so nice. To my eyes :]

Yesterday a girl jumped from a third floor .. suicider.. and she jut stood up 😀 ! a little bit crashed face, but overall – no damage! can You imagine?! It’s not ment to be !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it was hard to believe ! Like we say 1:0 we win against God. SHE’S JUST LUCKY ASS. Hope it will make her realise that she just have to live.

I was laying after my shift in ambulance in bed and realised very cruel truth., I came back to the same place i’ve been […]

I’m nineteen years old and a music major at a University. My parents have been going through a divorce. Everything was fine until my mother’s new friends starting urging her to be more forceful about it. So she filed for a restraining order so that my dad wouldn’t be able to see my little brother. The hearing was just this Wednesday. It was fixed. My father’s lawer didn’t say anything or do anything helpful. The only people called to testify were those who were testifying against my dad. No one got to testify on his behalf. So obviously he lost the case. They flat out […]

I can’t do this anymore. I don’t trust adults, the place I’m most scared of is home, and I’m tired of fighting to hold on to everything I’ve ever known. I’m forced to talk to the counselor at school, since I don’t eat  I am required to go to checkups. Last Thursday I stopped lying to her and opened up.. everyone told me it would feel better. it didn’t. she told me I had the choice to either tell my parents i needed to be placed in counseling or she would call them and tell them herself. (i do not talk to my parents although […]

…………part 1………………

i wake up to the sound of my phone vibrating. i crawl out of my nice warm bed built for two, tho sadly only one fills it every night.

i stare at my phone wonder who the hell would wake me up 1 hour before my alarm.
‘Good Morning Turtle <3’ i read. oh well its from johnny. so i’ll let it slide.
i text back ‘good morning nerd =P’ then go eat some breakfast.
i walked into the kitchen finding my favourite serial already on the table. but I’m home alone for a month, becuz my adoptive parents are on a little holliday.
i look around kinda freaking […]

When is it that my life will re-arrange..? How come its so hard to stay the same, why do I constantly wish to change?

I don’t know if im happy or sad, I don’t know if im good or bad.. I try so hard for happiness, I tried my hardest to reach heavenly bliss.

How often must I cry, how many tears must I shed. I swear I want to die, I just want to finally rest my head.

I can’t help you with your problems anymore, its about time I close this door.

So I block out the world and I block out life, As I continuously cut deeper with this knife.

Blood drips on the floor as I type […]