My mom just took her own life back in july and i am the one that found her. I dont know what to think of this. and i have a really difficult time understanding why. I am going to counseling and it helps.. I just feel down a lot of times. I have thought a little bit about doing what my mom did. But i dont think i could every put someone through the pain i have went through… My dad is also in jail now.. So Help me understand and advice? Please.
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without knowing any facts, just maybe, your mom is happier now and the pain is gone. your mom exercised her right, maybe it was best for her, but not everyone else. i would love to be dead, oh the bliss !
i agree with driver, life is tough, in the end everything will be ok, forgive ur mom if have any grudge against her… good luck
Well, yeah, she was obviously in a lot of suffering. And now you are. But negative shit was hers, so try not to inherit it. I think it’s too soon for you to have any major insights. Apparently, it takes years to get over the first phase. It’ll always be with you, but that doesn’t mean it should kill you too. I have a friend whose father committed murder-suicide killing his wife (my friend’s mother) and killing himself. This is one of the most amazing guys I’ve ever met. He’s incredibly responsible, independent, intelligent and kind. And I’m sure his parents’ tragic death has a lot to do with it. It may sound absurd, but try to turn it into something positive. Allow yourself to feel like a victim for a while (as you are one), but then come off it and get stronger. It can be done, you’ll see.
Just remember to treat yourself as your mother would have wanted you treated. She wouldn’t want this for you. You are going through a really, really tough time. You need to continue with therapy and understand that it takes a really, really long time to feel okay, but you most definitely will. You will be able to walk down the street, smiling again one day. I know it seems impossible, but just hold on! You can do it.
My grandfather committed murder-suicide killing my grandmother. My dad was there (at age 13). Obviously I never knew them but it doesn’t take the pain away. I see my father still cry about it sometimes and that was over 30 years ago. He says that he will never be over it and never stop hurting, but that he has learned to forgive my grandfather because everyone has their reasons for what they do. Who are we to judge when we may have done the same thing given the situation. Its all about stopping the “why’s” and “what-ifs” and realizing that its reality and yes reality sucks ass, its just the world we live in. But your mother had her own struggle and you will drive yourself crazy if you try to solve the mystery. Good luck, hope things start looking up for you.
I’ve lost myself my mother from suicide when I was 7 years old, I know how it is, I never understant exactly why, but I’m sure she had good reason, just remember you the good time you have pass with her.
Your mum must have been very ill. She didn’t want to leave you, she was not in control.