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This life style cannot continue, I cannot sit any longer and waste my time away. What is the point in being alive, if I am not living. I wish I could be with a real female, one that cares, one that isn’t completely twacked in her mind. I just want to experiance something real for once.
I cut again…. Its so hard to not to stop….. My leg hurt and my heart….
-Morgan……RawrIamTurtle
i know that i need to be back in the hospital but i just dont want to go but these thoughts that i am having are just not right .i just dont understand i just got out the hgospital and im still extremly suicidal.i cant keep going on like this it hurts so bad every since i got out the hospital all i can do is cry, cry because of my pain cry because i dont understand, and cry begging god to just end it all an i know these thoughts are highly dangerous and any day now i could act upon them.i just need […]
NO MORE BULLYING! I GAINED SELF CONFIDENCE AND THATS IT! IM NO LONGER UGLY OR A SLUT OR ANYTHING. IM MYSELF! THATS IS IT! MYSELF. I’m sick of crying everyday because of the insicure people. I am now MYSELF! I’m done with believing people who are rude. LOVE MYSELF. In my description of the pic i say im ugly. ITs cuz I’m confused.
P.S. I guess im not that prettty. What do you think.? 
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16 and on the verge of suicide, I’ve tried hanging myself before and that would of been the most exciting/scariest time of my life. I just wanted my life to be over, not only that it was scaring knowing I’d never be here again, but who wants to live life in constant misery. I just wish I could die, I feel like jumping in front of a train every time I sit and wait for the train every morning, I think one day I will actually do it, as I can no longer go on feeling the way I do. I’m done with everyone, and […]
I’m close to suicide…
I don’t want to talk to a national crisis therapist or counselor…
Last time I did that I was put on hold because my counselor received another caller… I felt a that point that my life didn’t have real value and I was almost worthless…
I don’t know what thrive I have left to live.
This is my last resort and I’m extremely certain no one is kind enough to help. This will just be conformation that I’m just about pathetic…
Hey I am 22 (just turned) male from UK. Basically I am stuck in life. I never leave the house because I have nowhere to go, I have no friends and nobody to talk to every single day, including weekends. I am currently looking for work and have never had a job yet (been looking 2 & 1/2 years). I am done with education as its neve rgot me anywhere and I can not receive funding to do what I even want to do.
I am stuck in life, I have no future and no friends, no girlfriend, no place of my own, no transport, […]
I’ve never posted here, but I’ve been a lurker for the past 3 or 4 months. I’m currently 18 and two months ago I was put into an intensive outpatient program for depression/anxiety. I was prescribed Wellbutrin and was discharged after 6 weeks. The week after I got discharged I began to have grim thoughts, thoughts that are so grim that I actually made a noose and hung it in my house and made a suicide notes. For 3 nights, I would go and put the noose on and decide whether I would jump off the table and kill myself or not. Obviously I chose […]
its so sad to see that there are so many people like me
I’m 34 and have been suffering from depression for at least 17 years and ADHD since I was a child. My mother didn’t like how I reacted to Ritalin as a child so the ADHD was left untreated until I was prescribed Adderall about 5 years ago. The difference in output and energy was night and day but the depression continued to lurk under the covers despite having tried many medications over the years (Effexor, Prozac, Paxil, Welbutrin, and finally Citilopram). I racked up enormous student loans over the years and other debts that I realize are attributed to Bipolar manic phases. A major life […]
I don’t know what to do anymore. My home life is terrible. Therapy isn’t helping. I’m never happy. I’m always alone. All of my friends leave when I need them the most. I don’t want to die. I just don’t want to be here anymore.
I decided yesterdaythat I need to practice beinq hunry cause I plan to runaway when I have enouqh money to by a bus ticket.I’m a veqetarian and yesterday I went over to my friend’s house,he was qrillinq hamburqers.I was starvinq s bad that I would’t ate three burqers!!Instead I went home to eta my face off!I felt bad.I started not eatinq aqain,different reason now.I said to myself why don’t I starve my self to death!qood Idea huh?I’m kinda happy that If I continue this Ill be qone:)but damn I’m starvinq,this Is hard!I want pizza and hot fries so feakinq bad!What do yall think?Is this Is […]
I’m fighting to try not to cut, tho i hurt so much!
i don’t want to cut. i really don’t. but its so hard. and its probably helping that I’m not clue to any scissors right now. but later tonight i will be.. and i don’t know if i will be able to handle it… sometimes I’m glad I’m lazy…. but gosh i want to cut myself… i want the pain of my heart be pushed away with the pain of the cut…
🙁
-Morgan…..RawrImaTurtle
I was approached today by a friend about her supicion I was thinking about self termination. She lost her first husband to suicide and does volunter work for a prevention hotline a couple nights a month. I guess I was an easy read for her. It caught me off guard damn it and I stumbled. I confessed. What a stupid idiot I am. How could I have been so inept and careless!! It was a foolish liability to give away my desire/need. I hindered the time I had planned to make it so, by self sabatage. She offered to drive me to a hospital, like i would let that happen again. I […]
I was very close to finally doing it last night. I was all set to go then I couldn’t get my mum out my head. I can’t fucking do it! I chickened out because I can’t leave her on her own. People on this site with no family ties are so lucky! I can’t go on living but I can’t die either. I so badly need someone to talk to in person, and I don’t mean a therapist who’s only there for the pay, I mean someone like me who feels the way I do! Life is just so fucking unbearable and I can’t take […]
Sometimes God doesn’t change your situation cause he’s trying to change your heart.
I just stumbled across this site and skimmed some posts and comments and a lot of it seemed so familiar. The issues as well as the advice. Personally, I never found certain kinds of advice helpful but I will refrain from pointing out specific ones and instead just share my story and hope it will help people who are tired of the same old cliched phrases. If not… I think Doug Stanhope is absolutely right when he says (paraphrasing): “Life is like a movie. If it is shitty every step of the way, you shouldn’t blame somebody for walking out early.”
And I am going to […]
This is my first posting on here.. Oh wow, I don’t even know where or how to start. Just gonna wing it..
I am 26 years old and living a miserable life inside my miserable home in miserable Phoenix, AZ. Actually I have been very fortunate.. I have a great family and they may be, in part, why I am still here. My parents have given me all the tools I could ever want to succeed in life, but I do nothing except throw them out the window it seems. Anyway, amidst some legal trouble, relationship trouble, unemployment trouble, and really just troubles in life, […]
today i had my oral report 🙂 it went pretty good. no one asked questions or anything. but my face didn’t get all red like usual. Â it was easy (ish) Â haha.
well yesterday i got my friend to draw a butterfly on my leg (where i cut) hopefully you all know what the butterfly project is. and i haven’t cut in 3 days 🙂 I’m kinda proud of myself.
-Morgan………….RawrIamTurtle
ight as well start with a smiling face because im pretty sure i wont end the journal with it once ive finished writing all this , well as the title says where to begin , i guess i should start with positive , i managed to draw Ezio Auditore de firenze  even though i think i messed up slightly with the face and hands , but nobodys perfect , at least now i know what to work on which is a positive XD ……trying to think what else is positive , well ive got my birthday in 11 months lol but its going to be […]
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