It’s true, being a good person fucks you over in this world. I’m such a good friend to the only friend that I have…that I don’t plan to do it after her birthday. She turns 21. I’m the lamest person..she is sad because we both have anxiety so it’s not like we can party. I’m sorry that I couldn’t be an upbeat friend.. I have no job & I’m underage & my parents would never buy me liquor or even beer. It makes me wanna strangle myself. My mother won’t feed me in the mornings till my dad gets home. So I’m just […]
Category:
My Suicide Note
I’m getting closer to being able to finally find out what’s on the other side. It’s only family keeping me here. But everyday, the more I think about it, the closer the desire gets.
so…guess if youre reading this either im dead or pathetically failed again to kill myself, and am now locked up in a mental hospital. in any case, i am unable to be here to delete this post.
…
i will keep this short.i looked up tons of resources on how to write a suicide note but i was never a writer. i was never anything anyway.
to mom and dad: im sorry. this is so hard. i cant write this i cannot express my feelings. first off…. you never drove me to suicide. dont blame yourself. this was my decision and it was affected by a million little things.
to […]
So, im 15 i know im young but, i just need some answers. I’ve been wanting to kill myself since i was around 10. i’ve really lost all the people i care for and ive had a crappy life.
My little brother told me to kill myself already. So, did my bestfriend/ex he also told me to kill myself too. My parents arent the worse but, they arent the best too. My biological father lives god knows where now, and is good for nothing. My mother is always stressed out and snaps at me alot. My step father was abusive but, has changed his ways… hes […]
“Happiness is an illusion”
its true.
But right now i would give anything to fall into this illusion and let it embrace me.
Everyday is becoming an impossible task to get through. To get through the “Hey why are you looking so depressed?” to hiding the cuts on my hands.
I always used to say that “Music is my escape, an escape from reality”. Now? It doesnt make me happy anymore.
Everyday i end up falling to the floor crying because me body is physically tired of maintaining this facade of the perfect person. There is a black […]
Different sayings can get the same point across.
Catch the bus
Bite the dust
Candyman
Came to a sticky end
Didn’t make it
Kick the Bucket
Take one’s life
Top yourself
Euthanasia
Just most commonly known as Suicide.
That just seems best now. For me and everyone else.
Junk fucked grunge and grime and became punk in time followed by this dope laced rhyme is blue lips and rolled back eyes with a rope tied tight you might find the right side of life when every body is done crying at your funeral they go back home and do the same thing as you but they don’t understand the point of view you had and why you choose to tie ropes to rocks and throw those hopes over the beam tied real tight so you could kick the chair from under your feet in the same place under that bridge you used […]
Spent my last $20 of the next to the last paycheck I’ll ever see in my life on food for him and then he got super pissed off at me because we got caught in the rain and got drenched, then I got on the bus while he was in the middle of playing his game but my back was killing me and there were homeless people camped out at the bus stop and wouldn’t let me sit down and I have a disability with my back and I can’t just stand all day because everyone else has a reason why they deserve the seat […]
I really give up. I’ve tried so hard. The last few days have been absolute shit and everything has gotten worse. My hours were cut yet again in my first job back to 10 hours a week. The same day both bosses bitched me out over every fucking thing some of which is them not knowing enough about something they should. First thing was a service we use for scheduling posts to multiple client’s accounts. Well when you add an account, the new account becomes the default to post to. So he bitches me out for posts for one client being scheduled on the new […]
So, I’m not sure when I feeling all this sadness, all I know is that it has plagued me for years now. I know that when the world sees *my name*, they see happy-go-lucky, funny, goofy kid. I’m pretty good at the act by now, after all. I know it isn’t fair to claim my life isn’t worth it, but I can’t help but feel hopeless anymore. Somewhere along the way, something switched in my brain and I feel overwhelmed with sadness all the time. For the past few years I’ve felt less and less at home wherever I am until now where I feel […]
My Letter of Resignation….
To Whom It May Concern, (aka Life, the Universe, M.H., etc)
It may have come to your attention some time ago, that I am no longer happy. It may have come to your attention that I have no intention of staying around and being a puppet anymore.
As I type this, I realize, it has come to your attention, for you are the cosmic force that drives me further and further into my abyss of madness. You have pushed me into a Wonderland where the Mad Hatter not only makes more sense but is my counterpart in the void between. The Queen […]
Goodbye, my princess…
I’ll try to keep this as brief as can be to spare everyone the trouble of reading it. I have had a busy life, it hasn’t been all bad, there was some amazing bits. I have gotten to travel to Ukraine, Africa, Italy, Spain, Seychelles (I even carved my name into the aloe leaves on the hidden walking trail with everyone else’s) and so many other places. I have accomplished alot, graduated top ten percent from high school, perfect attendance for 12 years of schooling, trained in all sorts of technical repairs, a few credits away from an associates degree in […]
I consider myself a smart man, too smart perhaps, but what I truly lack is motivation. I’m a jack of all trades, good at everything but never excelling at any. That’s where the lacking in the motivational department comes into play.
I don’t have friends anymore, or family either for that matter. Every person you let in only manages to hold power over you, they have the ability to hurt you. For what’s a strangers insults compared to a lovers’ or a friends’? Water under a bridge. That doesn’t mean I haven’t had friends, because I did. We grew apart. Most would think I’m the shy […]
I think about killing my self often. These thoughts of suicide, I’ve had them for the past five years. As the time has passed, up until now they have only progressed and became more and more frequent. Now, I seriously think about killing my self on average of about three times a day at least. I’ve noticed that through out the years I’ve only gotten more serious about it. As I recall, it began with thoughts of more unrealistic methods of suicide or death. Back then I was basically just toying with the idea of killing my self. Recently, in the past two years, I’ve […]
The son of the ocean god drowning in the sea….Something mildly poetic about that, but yes I digress many upon this website wish to die so badly that none can save them that only have depression and have hit a miserable spiral, but I suffer from a mixture of Asperger’s syndrome along with social anxiety disorder….Yes you can see my issue and how screwed I truly am.
I have a aptitude for chemistry and know by which means I wish to die….Hydrogen sulphide obtained through a collection from a condenser so thus the parallel to the god above in that I am a chemist wishing to […]
am i crazy if i said i want to die because i just want to know the truth? if i just want to meet god? am i wrong? maybe, yes. but is it too much to ask for god?
well, i’ve been living my past months wishing, everyday, that god would kill me because for some reason i don’t want to kill myself. people say that if you really want something that you will get it as long as you believe in god. well, i try to keep my believe so that god will grant my wish. but right now i’m pretty much still alive.
6 months […]
When I climb the ladder and put the noose around my neck, that is the time I know there is no turning back and I am finally going to be free. Wow, finally free of this tremendous pain and the weight of the world.
Who the hell inflicted this never ending pain and piled this weight on me? Why was I picked? It really doesn’t matter anymore because I will be free. I will be free to soar like an eagle and finally pain free. Free to be me and rest in peace.
I know there are so many people that do not understand and many people […]
It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters. Why do I even pretend at this point? Why do I try to write some bullshit on this website?
It used to help, but that all kind of ended when I realized no matter how much I write about my shit, I will always be a worthless pile of shit. This website doesn’t change my views on life or death. Life is still meaningless. Death is still inevitable.
Maybe, suicide isn’t the right choice for a lot of people. Some people have dreams, plans, aspirations.
Not me. My dream is to die before I reach 30 years on this shit earth.
I want to […]
yea.
I can’t keep going on like this. I feel so unappreciated. I feel so lonely. I need help but no one doesn’t want to take time out of their day to help me.. All they do is worry about themselves. They care little for those like me who are suffering.. I thought I was getting better when in all actuality I’m just getting worse. I’m so sleep deprived. Working just makes everything worse. As I’m sitting here on my break all I can think about is suicide. I feel that will be the only way to release me from my suffering. I can’t […]