The son of the ocean god drowning in the sea….Something mildly poetic about that, but yes I digress many upon this website wish to die so badly that none can save them that only have depression and have hit a miserable spiral, but I suffer from a mixture of Asperger’s syndrome along with social anxiety disorder….Yes you can see my issue and how screwed I truly am.
I have a aptitude for chemistry and know by which means I wish to die….Hydrogen sulphide obtained through a collection from a condenser so thus the parallel to the god above in that I am a chemist wishing to die to my own chemistry, that is not me I have the apparatus set up before me but I don’t deserve such a easy exit I will use a rope because why should I make myself end easily while I make so many left behind suffer…..but why am I here you ask ?
First I want to know if anyone has a dead man switch program that will message everyone goodbye when I am gone and how much I enjoyed their company on Facebook or any social media of choice
And second….I just….I guess……I am trying to see if someone gives a shit….I have tried so hard to be normal and attempt to socialize but my social hindrances caused by my syndrome that I keep fighting over and over just comes back and keeps pushing people away…..My girlfriend got freaked by my issues and I tried so hard, but either way I was too much of a freak and she ended up leaving me….My one and only friend moved who could tolerate me….which left me Al1, Sorry alone with no job,future or company and while I have my cat…..She is not really one for aiding the suicidal
Your’s truly Al1
4 comments
Hey, Al1. You are in a very tough situation. I wish I knew what to tell you, but I don’t. All I can tell you is that…well, you were looking to know if someone out there gave a shit. I may be a stranger to you, but I give a shit. I think your life matters. And I’m sorry to hear that you’ll be cutting it short, especially in a painful way. I don’t think you deserve that.
Thank’s for this I really appreciate it, I just got out of hospital….Don’t know really where to go from still alone and Isolated but I found that even my own incompetency won’t let me die
So, you made an attempt last night? What happened?
Hi Al1
I too have Aspergers Syndrome. Like you, I also had a long and horrible period of my life trying to be like the people around me and doing so almost cost me my life several times not just by suicidal attempts.
All the social system in our society is based on neurotypical individuals, not on individuals like you and me. So if you try their social system methods to socialize it will not work for you. That doesn’t mean that you have to live in the periferia of society all alone. Simplified it means this: to do what others do to socialize you have to use your own methods and not the common ones ‘everybody’ else uses.
I can gladly help you in any questions you might have or if you just would like to talk. I want you to know that I signed an account here after reading your post.
In hope for your reply
Sincerely
etxea