For your poems.
A little ditty about how tiring life can be. Hope you enjoy and thanks for the cyberspace – FTS
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Like stone gets eroded
by wind and rain,
my soul wears thin
from suffering and pain.
– – – – – – – – – – –
The raging river
of self-doubt and guilt,
leaves me at the bottom,
with the rocks and the silt.
– – – – – – – – – – – –
Through all of lifes trials,
I have been tumbled and tossed,
I look within
to see what I’ve lost.
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My […]
I envied the fact that my mom had accidentally cut herself shaving.
That moment when I saw her red, crimson blood trickling down her leg,
All I wanted to do was..
Pull out my veins and cut them in half.
All of them.
Everyone try it!
Choking out is fun, its affected by everything, mostly muscle spasms and mentally you think about something and forge completely and are tricked into believing it’s a good idea, I want to write that idea(s) down. I sometimes do something like rock my body left to right. You should all try it. I just say that so I can hear anything similar or different. My cousin Alex tried and likes it. My 12 year old neighbor likes to do it and showed his friends. I showed my brother but he stopped he’s a ***** about everything. Only problems is brain damage, but […]
The sky isn’t always blue, and the sun doesn’t always shine.
Our friends aren’t always there, and sometimes we fall out of love.
Angels fall from grace, and we won’t always be happy.
It’s alright to come apart, but remember to fall back together.
This is something I wrote 13 years ago, when I was feeling a helluva lot better. I know some folks don’t want to hear it, they don’t have to read it. Some people here need friends, and that’s what this is about…. being friends. Not just saying you are, but actually being there when needed. It’s on the long side, sorry.
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Lately I’ve been feeling
like I really don’t fit in,
I don’t know where I’m going,
I’m ashamed of where I’ve been.
It doesn’t seem to matter,
where I go or what I do,
the people with whom I can relate
seem to be a precious few.
I can’t put my finger on […]
Yes mom.
It is all my fault.
Everything is absolutely all my fault.
Nothing,
But my fault
But you wanna know the sad part?
I’m actually starting to fucking beleive that it is all my fault.
She’s too beautiful for words.
She doesn’t believe the compliments.
She deserves better than some guy with a lip ring that treats her badly.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
You have the right to.. And you were put on this planet for a reason.
Please stay ok babe. :’)
Dedicated to Broken.
The voices are screaming. I don’t know what I did wrong. Probably everything. I have to scream just to think over them. They keep getting louder and louder. Why do they do that to me? Stop yelling. Stop. Just stop. What kind of trick is this? Please stop. I hate it.
STOP.
Love is just a word
Not even a feeling because if it were things would be different I hate people who say that your not alone. Apparently we are if we have to talk online about the way we feel. My heart has turned to coal the one I thought I loved well maybe he’ll see me in the afterlife if there is such a thing. I feel as if I’ve already died I am already transparent nobody would ever miss me.
She was crying
Drip drop splashes the tears
He was lying
And He didn’t care
She fought so hard
Only to gain nothing
He did very little
Only to get what he wanted
She blamed herself
He laughed to himself
He was like hell
And she was heaven……
It took everything away
and now im standing infront of a bay.
It hurt everything i got
and now im going to take this shot.
We are not friends
but today i should be cleanse.
As i hold out my hand
and develop my plan.
I know for sure
we are going to have a tour.
I know…we wont come back
cause soon i will be attack.
Dont be scared
when everything is in a flared.
I have the rope
and it took all mine hope.
Suicide…you surprise me
but its time to be free.
I feel no emotions.
I feel no love for my family.
No love for my ‘ friends’.
I feel nothing.
No sadness.
No madness.
No hate.
No happieness.
All I can barely feel, is the pain.
And somewhat now like, not love, my dog.
What is happening?
I haven’t cut in quite a while..
Could this be the reason all my emotions have been lost?
In a dream I´m drifting in the sea. It´s dark and stormy. The waves push me beneath the surface and throw me in the air. The sea is a womb and the sea is a grave. The sea wants me. I´m afraid. Shall I die? Shall I wake up? Shall I learn to fly?
I see another person who´s drifting in the sea too. Our only hope is that perhaps we can save each other.
Into your hands I trust my spirit.
Secrets surround the darkness within
The lies that I trusted for so long
All for nothing
What’s life worth living for
If all of it is nothing but a
[…]
 My Soul is a china shop
that a bull has already run thru.
What’s left on the shelf,
teetering and fragile,
will fall at the slightest move.
– – – – – – – – – – – –
My Psyche lies broken
into a million pieces on the floor,
in order to clean up
and put things in order,
you have to walk on the rubble, making more.
– – – – – – – – – – – – -Â
The door is open
and I’ve finally chased the bull out.
There ain’t much left
and the resulting mess,
has left a lot of concern and doubt.
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Once again, thanks to all for you encouragement and kind words.
Last night is a good example of why I wrote the poem about sleep. I didn’t get much and that’s all I really wanted to do. Just go to sleep and be numb/immune to the demons. As a result of my restless night, I have more prose 🙂
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“BLENDED”
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I feel like I’ve been in a blender,
dazed and confused, with mixed up emotions,
a psyche so fragile and tender.
– – – – – – – – –
Bruised, beaten and battered,
cracked like glass, I don’t dare move
or my Soul will certainly shatter.
– – – – – – – – – –
Achingly sore, not numb,
pain so intense it constantly hints,
that […]
The blade gets cozy, driving against my skin.
The warm, thick, crimson liquid dripping and dripping down my arm.
Wanting to bleed it all out.
Having me, slowly slipping away.
Falling into the best I can be.
Sleep! Oh precious Sleep!
How I long to be with thee.
Sleep, oh precious Sleep,
with you I never disagree.
Sleep, oh precious Sleep,
it’s you that let’s me see,
Sleep, oh precious Sleep,
you are what sets me free!
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Thanks again for the cyberspace – FTS
I wasn’t going to post this one, but I am in the hope that vmy19 is still around and it somehow helps.
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I feel so empty deep inside,
I guess there’s nothing left to hide.
Nothing left of me to give,
no reason left for me to live.
Until someone takes me by the hand,
upon my feet, they help me stand.
They show me that they really care
and I know they’re always there.
They stay with me past the dawn
and with their help I can go on.
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thanks for the cyberspace
My Goodbye
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Looking for answers
I joined this site
And in the darkness
I found some light
I must thank you
For all you’ve done
Your kind words
Were like the sun
They warmed my heart
They let me grow
They gave me strength
When I felt low
You offered your help
You gave good advice
You listened so well
You were all so nice
But all my problems-
They were still there
I could not solve them
They were too much to bear
And so in the morning
When I would awake
I’d see no future-
No path to take
I am so scared
Of what awaits
Will I see fire?
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