it seems everything i do now is just for attention, however i can’t tell. Am i just lying to myself and others? Am i making things up and actually fooling myself? am i really doing everything i have done for her? do i really love her? could i ask the same about my past relationships? was it my fault they ended? did i do something wrong? am i the reason my best friend is so suicidal and depressed, who is now losing her life slowly because she overdosed? is it me? or others? why does life and nature have such a cruel yet realistic cycle […]
Category:
Rants
What to do about a depressed 10 year old? Family’s in chaos, inconsistency. Divorce pending, mom in hospital, dad drifting away to girlfriend. This 10 year old has random meltdowns where he can’t stop crying and eventually storms off. No one can approach him. Sometimes he refuses to talk to anyone. He’s all right at school, I think, but home is miserable. It’s snowing right now and he doesn’t have any distractions.
I’m worried because I see some streaks in him similar to myself. He feels misused, shut-up, abandoned, unloved, etc.
I don’t know what to do. With my dad working nights we’re at home alone a lot, […]
I’m so fucking sick of being nice to people then gettin it thrown back in my face. I don’t actually have any true mates I swear all I am is nice to them and all that shit and then they throw it back in my face and don’t talk to me. Fuck everyone.
I am going to tell my life story up to today. There is a point to this, so just bear through all of this. I promise, it may be worth reading. I’ve been familiar with sad things for my whole life. When I was five, my mom kicked my dad out because he was an alcoholic and a drug user; he also treated her very badly. I remember seeing him occasionally after that. I didn’t realize what my dad was into until I was much older, where I grew up watching him drink and abuse his girlfriend. In 2nd grade, a man moved in with […]
I had 4 public speaking engagements in three days, I taught a class and then went to a kick off for a charity walk. No classes this week – spring break. I still have a shitload of homework to do but I am about to leave for Niagara Falls to gamble for a 3 day vacation. I am on the Deans list with honors 4 semesters in a row but I think this class I’m taking is going to drop my GPA. So I joined a couple honor societies while I still have the GPA to be invited to these things. I need something to […]
Lost my last friend today
No family no friends all goneeeeee
No reason to live
Im worthless friends always leave me for a reason
Fuck it alllllll
Of late i’ve felt as if i’m slowing down and time is speeding up. Every day i seem to take longer and longer to complete my daily tasks. Each day i feel as though my energy is diminishing. I’ve lurked on this site for a while, this is my first post here.
My first thoughts of suicide were when i was 14, i’m 24 now. A decade of wanting to die, wishing for it but never really acting on it. I’d keep coming up with plans and then never execute them. Will i ever do it? I don’t know. I feel like i’ve been here a […]
If you were supposedly being fooled by everyone around you and only you were the one that was gawked at? What would you do if you felt as though your every thought, feeling, written or spoken statement, action, and the like were all being not just recorded by thouse trying to hurt you but judged as well? How is it that you would deal with the fact that at not quite 40 years old, you feel worn down, exhausted, used up, and spent? If you felt like your entire exsistance was spent on a completely uphill journey at full steam ahead and you were just […]
my mind really meant to me. I spent the majority of my teen and adolecent years concerned with how I looked, what I wore, who I spent time with and so on. My educaiton was never a really huge concern of mine (although I did care if I was able to get the higher marks on my sudies along with my peers) but I did okay as far as all of that went. Even into my 20’s I wasn’t as concerned with what I knew as much as I was with what I was doing at the time.
Now, here I am in my late […]
I can’t even muster up the will to write more than a few lines. It hurts and I want it to stop
Why does it hurt so much
Why does everyone hate me
Hello everyone,
i would like to preface this by saying thank you to the wonderful staff who have created this website and for those who will read this. I appreciate your time.
I am a 26 year old man. I stand six feet tall and have a decent body and some pretty nifty talents and gifts, but sadly i in my short time on this planet have managed to destroy every single good thing that has ever happened to me through very poor decision making. I currently perform stand up comedy, i am in a nirvana tribute band and i have a variety of extracurricular and […]
I am ashamed to live in this generation. I am ashamed to like in the U.S. I am ashamed to live in this world.
It’s disgusting. Women or men murdering their childern for their own selfish needs. Teenagers getting pregnant just to give the child to their mother to take care of while they go out and party. Grown men attacking teenaged boys and girls because they don’t like the way they dress. Grown women with fucking kids acting like a goddamn child that doesn’t get their way. Or these outrageous standards that most women put for men, or vise-versa.
Teachers raping or molesting their students. Teachers and/or […]
I don’t know about the rest of you, but I often read fanfiction about my davorite band members. I noticed a lot of people would get upset because they “romanticize” suicide, depression, selfharm, disorders, and so on. Yet, I never looked at it that way. I would always think of it as a way that it gave me hope that eventually some one would accept me the way these members would in the stories. Sadly, I can never say that out loud or express my opinion about it because I’d immediately get attacked online or whatever that i’m this horrible person for thinking that way […]
Me and my boyfriend went to a party a while back where I drank for the first time and I liked it. While I was drunk something snapped in place and I felt better… I’ve been drinking a lot since then and my boyfriend made me promise to stop… but I can’t. And I have been trying to since I promised… should I tell him I still am drinking?
I just recently was discharged from a psych ward. This was my second hospitalization. I’m still suicidal and have been for a long time. My parents told me today that I need to “try harder to be happy.” I’m just sick of hearing shit like this.
I just feel like dying, how am I supposed to stop all of a sudden. I just don’t understand their logic. I’ve been struggling with depression and self harm for about 8 years now (since I was 10 years old). And haven’t felt happy to be alive in about 2 years. My suicidal thoughts / planning have increased and became […]
I feel guilty for the way I feel. My life is good, most would call it easy and I have the nerve to be ungrateful. I try to put on a brave face but it’s so hard to pretend you’re okay when you’re not. It’s like every little thing someone says hurts me and digs in. It keeps burrowing under my skin building until I just can’t take it anymore and I know I don’t hide it that well but no one notices. I’ve tried to kill myself before and I take medication and I tell my mom that I just feel empty, but all […]
I can’t feel anything I’m so numb and depressed I go from okay to this every hour or so my thoughts hit me like bricks and my anxiety keeps it coming
So, to make this simple, i fucking hate myself. I am not (and will never be) content with who i am. Nothing is actually wrong with me, i would just thoroughly enjoy killing myself. I am only posting this to relieve myself of hatred, or at least attempt to. I don’t care for sympathy. I do not want help. Nothing will ever stop these thoughts, no matter what anyone tells you. I have more friends in my head than i do in real life, simply because we share the same interests; death. The absolute ONE reason i am still alive is my boyfriend. I don’t […]
So, my only actaul friend that I have, is embarrassed to tell people that we hang out. I kind of picked up on this a few months ago when a few of her other friends didn’t like me so for a while she wouldn’t talk or hang out with me. Then she started messaging me to come over to my house to drink all the time, and that’s about it. Any time I offered her to come with me to the mall or movies, she’d tell me she’s busy. Eventually, I found out that she blew me off to hang out with people who strongly […]