So what would you do?

If you were supposedly being fooled by everyone around you and only you were the one that was gawked at? What would you do if you felt as though your every thought, feeling, written or spoken statement, action, and the like were all being not just recorded by thouse trying to hurt you but judged as well? How is it that you would deal with the fact that at not quite 40 years old, you feel worn down, exhausted, used up, and spent? If you felt like your entire exsistance was spent on a completely uphill journey at full steam ahead and you were just not strong enough to keep up the fight?
Would you reach out to someone and tell them your inner most thoughts? Even at the risk of being laughed at? Locked away? Shunned by all of those that you only attempt to co-exsist and reach a commonn goal with? Would you keep it a secret and lock it away? Would you hope that someday it would all just go away? Would you try and hide every emotion that made you appear weak or less than or insecure? Would you risk the ability to co-habitate with your loved ones and tell someone just what your deepest darkest fears are?
I don’t know if I have made the right choices thus far, only time will tell. But I have the feeling that I am going to find out real soon and the sense that I’m getting is that I was wrong.