i told you i couldn’t hang out, not that i didn’t want to. You wanted to party, i wanted to die. You thought i was happy and so did i. but little did we know happy wasn’t for me. i wanted to cry. i wanted to die. there was always something in me asking me why. i didn’t know what to say but then i realized that it was everything about me. My hair, my eyes, my legs, arms, my stomach, my chest, back, feet, my hands. It was the way i talked, the way i walked. i never thought i was good enough. i […]
Simply put, I think it’s all crap. Not the things, good and bad, that have happened in my life thus far. Heavens no, that won’t do at all. What’s crap is that people sincerely believe that I should be “happy” that I’m alive. I was given a life (that I never asked for, by the way), and I now it’s apparently mandatory for me to be thankful for that fact. I’m not here to blame my parents for being arrogant pricks and assuming that the child they created would be happy with this “gift of life” that he never asked to receive. Blaming others for […]
I just hate my life….I do not LIKE anything.
I hate it so much and tried suicide so much I lost count.
I hate me…….I feel like there is no hope and no help.
This has been going on over 30 years and I am worse than ever
FML!!!!!!!!
I run today Litterely moving. The world through my eyes is cold. Full of dark colors. The air is crisp around me thin. layers of mist collect on my face under my hat on my glasses. Â I hold my keys in my hands their sound as constant as my steady moving lump of body mass. I run. Its has been a long time since I have run and I can’t remember why I would do such a thing at the moment.Â
My body jiggles forward my mind moves back in memory. forcing me to quite again to walk I keep moving. I remember wanting to die. […]
Um hi I’m 14 and for the past three years I have had severe anxiety that has gotten gradually worse. It got horrible the second year, my seventh grade year, and I missed half the school year(but I still got As&Bs haha). When the level of my anxiety increases I have really bad panic attacks, I am nonstop sobbing, uncontrollably screaming, I get severe stomach aches, headaches, nausea, I vomit(alot), I start hyperventilating, shaking, twitching, I sometimes loose feeling in my hands/feet, my period cramps get worse, and the list goes on. My mom used to yell “you’re doing this to yourself”&”its all in your head”&”shut up […]
Hello all,
I’ve never posted on this site before, but I felt the need to make an account and make one. Â To all that is reading this; to all that feels like no one is there; to all that has contemplated life over and over again and feels the need to end things; to anyone that just needs to share their feelings to… I’m here. Â I have felt what rock bottom feels like and I have been in and out of depression, contemplating suicide a few times in my life. Â I will keep this short and sweet: Â the pain may seem never-ending, but it eventually DOES […]
Hello, well I don’t really know what a forum is, or how to use it, but I guess i’ll just share my story and maybe someone can help. Â I am a 19 year old guy from California. 9 years ago I stared getting bullied. I was already a loner, so I guess it made me more lonely. I always thought that was fine though. This was before social media though, which just added to my depression. When I used to sit at home alone, I thought everyone did. Later I found out that people actually do fun stuff with these things called “friends”. Well I’ve […]
Out of time
All out of fight
You are the only thing in life that I’ve got right.
It just hurts so much.
Everywhere I go, anything I do, I think of you. And then I think of how you don’t want me.
I don’t even know why. We were so happy.
It hurts too much.
The pills blur the pain but I know its there.
I can’t live this way.
It hurts.
My life is empty without you. It was going to be even before you, but now there’s no chance.
I just want to go back. I don’t know how we ended up here but I need you. I miss you.
I feel like I don’t stand a chance but I […]
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Alot of people judged me on my last post. I just want to say sorry. Want a real letter here you go. My name is dani. I am 16 years old. thats  me in the pictue. fakeing a smile again.I am more than finished with life. I have been bullied,abused, raped, hated and left out my entire.
I have become hopeless and honestly I can’t do shit anymore. I Came to vent and found that letter thing online. I can’t write so I just googled it and […]
May 19, 2014
Listen Up Dumbfucks:
Most people kill themselves because of a mental condition. This is true in my case too. The condition I suffer from is that I am not normal, I am not like everyone of you “sane” people.
I am not normal in the sense that I am not like every other one of you brain-dead zombies. I can think. I can reason intelligently. I can observe and learn from life. I can make my own decisions and follow through on them. And I can do these without any aid from celebrities, T.V., radio or MySpace. Unfortunately, every one of you shit-brained […]
What in the -Before I get into this, be warned, I am very vulgar- endless cosmic cluster fuck happened to SP? I mean, seriously? It seems after the visual change everyone just kinda changed into argumentative assholes. Well not everyone, but anyway, it seems as though this place has turned into a war zone. It usually hasn’t been like this (Since I found this site a few months ago), except for a few disagreements here and there. But it almost never got like this. But alas, fighting is in human nature. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention; Like I said before, I found this site months ago and […]
I’m sooo scared to go back to therapy.. I don’t want to but my parents are making me! I was in therapy for 2.5 YEARS and it didn’t do anything! Honestly my church has done 100% more in 1.5 YEARS than therapy ever did. It’s annoying, makes the depression even worse, and honestly I haven’t even been feeling depressed lately… sorry for those of you who are not into Christianity (DO NOT GIVE ME CRAP FOR IT PLEASE).. I’ve gotten more involved with the church, gotten involved in outreaches, and might even be going on a mission trip to Mexico in August. I’m finally happy […]
All i ever wanted was love, or to be loved by everyone i came in contact with…..But you see….It’s harder for me….Because…Well….I’m ME…. I’m broken…. And no one wants a broken toy….I know i’m different from everyone else…But that doesn’t mean i have to be treated as such…I just want someone who will love me…for Me and not judge me for my wrongs…I’ve had many friends….But We’ve either drifted away, had a fight, or been back stabbed…I just want someone who won’t walk out when i show signs of mental pain and leave me like road kill…. Just a few days ago i attempted Suicide….but apparently the driver […]
I met a friend of mine about eight months ago.  Prior to that I had no real friends, no one I could talk to.  I was 27 years old with no girlfriend, no wife, no kids, no life, really.  And yes, I was kinda suicidal back then too, but only in the vaguest way.  I had the thoughts, but never took any real action.  I was just on auto-pilot, living life day-by-day.  My life consisted of going to work, coming home, playing video games (not even social multi-player ones!) and then sleeping.  The most boring, staid, ridiculously isolating life you could imagine and I hated it.  Then […]
I am not a beautiful mature girl like my eldest sister. I’m not rational and nihlistic like my older brother. I’m not brimming with positive enthustistic attitude by my second older sister. I am the ‘problem child’ since the very beginning I’ve been this way. Nightmares that meant I slept in parents bed till I was almost ten. Then I got over that  and got into my head that something magical, an adventure, would find me and when it didnt i decided this world wasnt enough, 11 years old and contemplating suicide…but then I saw the beauty of this world. It might not be new […]
My mom always says she loves. I can beleive that but I dont beleive is that she wants. Neither does my dad, my stepfather, or anyone who says the love me. I just cant take it any more. My mom always sides with my sister. Just because she cant get over any thing I’ve done. She is part of the reason I feel so horrible about my life. Because she thinks that making me feel bad will make my sister feel better.
Some say it’s all or none. Others say something is better than nothing. Which is it? I get so mad at myself for accepting the unacceptable, but when I cut people out of my life I regret it. I have no life essentially. No family, and one good friend (who doesn’t have the time of day for me because she does have a family). After being depressed for about 20 years, I don’t believe it gets better, I believe this is my life and I need to accept that. I am not meant to have or experience things that others do. I am right where […]
I tried hanging myself with a shoelace just now. I wasn’t off the ground, it was tied around my door handle and the other end my neck while I sat on the ground. I’ve even seen a successful video on this being done and I don’t understand why mine wasn’t successful. Anyway, I could barely breathe and I could feel myself getting lightheaded and my ears even felt weird like almost numb, but I sat there for a very long ass time and did not pass out or die. Wth! Can anyone explain why this could have failed? It was not bc I didn’t wait […]