fucking crappy ass friends i have. so this is how it is i decided to bring to of my friends to this band cncert thing cause i wanted to spend time with them. My other friend who is my ex, so is the one i was taking, want to go along so i said ok so i was going to buy another one. when i told them they were like if hes going then im not. i got so pissed that i said something i regreted i said fine i dont need you guys for anything anyways. this part i regret but this part i […]
Category:
Rants
Frankly, I believe I’m growing weary; tired.
Not quite sleepy tired, why I’m finding it more and more difficult to become sleepy at night anymore (hence why I’m up at 11:27 p.m. feeling fully awake) but tired of something else.
Perhaps I’m tired of waiting. I believe I have full reason to be tired of waiting, for I’ve been waiting eight months for him. (M.A.B.) Eight goddamn months.
Why do people have to go through such heartbreak and disappointment? For I have waited and waited just so that nothing will happen.
I feel like suicide. Too bad all my overdose attempts never work.
I just can’t leave her. I have but I always come back to her, crawling begging for forgiveness as if I have done some unforgivable deed. I came to the realization this morning that I am frightened. That the emotional distress and pain I have felt whether it was her fault or not is not worth going through again and that for that reason I shouldn’t leave her. I told myself that if it needs to be this difficult, and I have already done it with her ( though it doesn’t get any easier), why should I have to do it all over again […]
Cold blue steel
Pressed to my temple
I tremble some
this trigger has always been light
No tears will spill
for me, not for me
only anger for the mess
I will leave
A half-century of life
like trash in the wind
leaves me so angry
– that my old man didn’t jack off in the sink
ok well here it is im 17 and I met this girl online when I was 16 shes 19 and lives in california(im in ireland) I never planned on liking her this much but things happened and now all I think about is us we’ve been in a relationship a while now and she says she will come and visit and hope she does we say “i love you” to eachother 3-5 times a day and I really do love her but if things dont work out (nearly all online relationships fail) then ill be alone and then I can finally end this life I […]
I had friends who I loved with all my heart. I moved in with 2 of them and my boyfriend. We were our own little family. And now. My boyfriend and one of my friends moved away. I try to keep in touch with my friend who still lives in the same town as me but she never gets back to me. Saying she’s working and then I see snapchats of her with other people.
Am I really horrible that this girl that I considered my family for so long would flake out on me?
I have no friends in my home town and I can’t moved […]
Sigh. I had some clarity! But now..
I just wrote a long post about my life this past month and why i think i have been having so many jumbled thoughts lately. How absurd life really is and got into whether my life seems confusing because of my racing brain or if my brain is racing because of the events this month.
But of course it all deleted itself before i was done. Grrr. Mushu
Life sometimes, i mean what are the odds? It’s like there is some invisible line on my “life worth chart”..or something. And every time my life value goes above it. […]
Atelophobia: the fear of imperfection, of not being good enough.
Today was great so why do I still feel like a worthless piece of shit? I worry more and more about weather or not I am going to kill myself. I no longer have a happy place to take me away from myself for a while. I feel it is almost necessary now to do it sense everyone is expecting me to. But the secret is I don’t want to die, I want to be happy. I want to wake up in the mornings with a smile and for the voice in my head to point […]
I’ve ruined everything. I destroyed all that I loved.
I’ve come to believe that I made everyone hate me.
Nothing can save me, because they wouldn’t if they could.
I made friends worry for me over my mistakes, it destroys me, and I know this is my fault.
I make my own family want me to leave, at only the age of 13.
They won’t admit it, but i know it. As everyone says, “actions speak louder than words.” and their actions show how much of a dissapointment.
But I cannot do it.
They will think it is their fault.
And that only will make […]
this is my first post here I dont even know why im trying its stupid all I want is to die ive tried overdosing and cutting but I just ended up in hospital and since ive been on these new pills all ive done is make things worse I ruined 3 friendships and my relationship I messed up
why am I here…I JUST WANT TO DIE and end this hell thay is my messed up life
It’s been about 9 months since I’ve posted anything. I wish I could say it’s because things have changed and gotten better, but that’s not the case. Things have gotten worse. I’ve started cutting. A lot. Very few people know. It’s easy for me to hide it because I do it on my thighs and stomach. The only person who knows that I know in real life, is my boyfriend. He has depression and has been through tough times too, but he’s never done anything like this. I feel bad, because I know I’m ruining my body for him, but I still can’t stop. It’s […]
Isn’t it fun when you see someone you used to know, get a glimpse of how successful and fruitful their life has been, and meanwhile the only thing you can hope to do is die.
Because you’re such a fucking failure and your life is nonexistent, all you can hope to do is die.
Some spark of the old competition flares up in you, but it’s silly because you fail so hard at life.
I hate my self so much I just want to die life is hell please if I could just feel better maybe I wouldn’t need to die anymore my life just causes pain and that is the last thing I want to do I don’t want to die anymore I need to it seems like the only ending
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Someone-Somewhere-Acoustic2.m4a
I honestly don’t know how to do this. For the past 2 or whatever year my anxiety has literally gone through so high I feel like someone stuck covered my heart in glue so that I can’t breathe. It’s gotten to the point where every hour I need to be constantly sighing almost every hour. And my so called “Friends” are just complete asshole and bullies to me since i’ve been prone to fear my entire fucking life. I guess my child hood wasn’t so bad since I was such a stupid kid and don’t remember much. My parents were very loyal to me […]
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Georgia_Mass_Choir_-_The_Best_of_My_Story.mp3
where can I go where there is nowhere to go to who can I talk to who isn’t already playing what can I do when they have everything laid out and planned for me already wtf can i get my shock now can I get my whatever the hell they gone give me now I don’t care anymore commit me, kill me, anything is better than submitting. I don’t believe andi don’t have to I lost enough of my soul and I don’t care who don’t believe me: who I am, what I am supposed to be idont care who believes me or not […]
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/J-MOSS-AFRAID.mp3
Do I have to?
I feel like I have to lose my soul
To make someone else whole
Because my life is not worth to live
Who will claim me?
Never
Who claims me?
The devil has touched my soul
Taken my soul
And unless I submit
I shall never be healed again
Born from a rape
Created in a laboratory
Who is enabled to tell me the truth
God knows
God sees all
Why won’t people help me?
I don’t understand
A sacrifice thru a ritual
All their souls bound to hell
God help us all
Psalms 41 to tell
Hi my name is brittany and im 17 years old. Â I’ve always been teased since the 4 grade up until now. People always made fun of me because I am fat and I never understood why people would say so many mean hurtful things to me, I was always nice to people. I would always help people and give people candy , and compliment those who were mean to me. When I was in the 6th grade I wanted to commit suicide because of the constant teasingof being called fat. It was like I could never get a break from being tease , and up […]
Hey names jane 12
my life was good up to age 7. My got ill with dementia. Her side doesnt help much. My dad and his family took care of us. My mum has been taken in and out of hospital for the past 4 years. It has taken alot out of all of us. Me and my sisters were taken in to care before my dad got full custody of us. (He and my mum seperated) my dad is stressed all the time. My mum doesn’t want to take her medicine. Â She always talks about God god god god. He hasnt done anything. Â My life […]
Its weird, when I was growing up in a very conservative home, went to a Christian school and I used to feel like I was suffocating all the time. I am not a very religious person because I don’t really see the point. Who can prove one god exists and one doesn’t? My life goes pretty smoothly and I have great family and friends and I play college sport; so it seems as though my life as a purpose right? I feel as though when I truly look at life as a whole I don’t understand how God (whoever that may be) can not be […]
A little about myself.
I’m a 24 year old male from the UK, and I have suffered with depression on an official basis since 2009 after a failed suicide attempt, it began in 2005 I think. I work in food retail (Don’t do it, it’ll make you want to kill people). And I’ve done it for over 5 years.
But what about the title I see you ask, why “Fight or Flight?”
Because I feel it’s the only two choices I’ve got left. See recently I returned to the workplace which was a huge contributing factor to my mental break down I had back in December 2013, the […]