ive been suffering from rapid cycling bipolar my brains so messed up from my dr trying different antidepressants 6 in 5 weeks is it any wonder I feel suicidal at times I’m just burnt out on huge dose of antipsychotics so I don’t loose the plot I’ve isolated myself from friends and family I’ll get through I’m really trying
Rants
I don’t really know what to say here, but I almost just hanged myself (hung? not sure). Not the first time. The only reason I talked myself out of it is because I can’t stand the thought of my mom walking in on my dead body. I don’t want her to have to go through that. But I want to end it so badly. I’m so unhappy, and so confused and overwhelmed. I don’t know what to do.
I’ve been going to therapy for a few months now and I’m on antidepressants. But I don’t know how to talk to my therapist, and so nothing […]
I apologize for the long post. My story is summarized in the beginning and end of this post. This post turned out to be long because I felt that it was necessary to explain some aspects of my situation.
I’ve always loved life and feared death, so committing suicide was absolutely unthinkable for me. That changed in early July 2015 – when I finally considered suicide as an option for avoiding homelessness or jail in the future. Originally, any suicide that I might commit would take place after my parents’ deaths – and when I had no income and faced homelessness, which I estimated to be 10-15 […]
mother has been in the hospital for the last three days they thought she had a stroke or a heart attack . my mother has had paraplegic migraines and sist on the center of her brain . She was been sick since I was 10 or 11. ..now if she has relapased She will be like she was before was really bad I dont remember much becuase I shut those memories away.
Now the doctor said he found scaring on the brain the was scaring from the past but it might be new or if the sist grew that will be brain surgery.
There was no heart […]
Hey SP,
First off, sorry for just complaining, I just don’t know what to do.
Today is tough for me. I am in JROTC is high school and we had to command our class in a drill performance. Well I was voluntold and so I had to command a bunch of people for a major grade. Well I am stage fright and I bombed the commanding. School is just be so stress full; enough that I want to die. I am doing self harm now, but I don’t know how long it can keep me calm. Tonight maybe tonight, IKD, you people will know what happens by […]
Title says all. I’m becoming an idiot… My minds always in a blur to the point of forgetting. I’ve forgotten words, memories and plenty of other things like how to communicate with others. When I try to act smart I always turn out dumb, my friends make sure of it. They make me feel as though I’m an embarrassment. A shame. Not to long ago I had a hard time understanding the tv show I was watching. It took me a whole 10 seconds to process what they had said as well as what was going on. I don’t know what’s going on with me. […]
So today’s trash day… And then something random happened I somehow let myself think even just for 2 seconds and then I suddenly wanted to just jump in the truck when it comes or stand/sit in front of le truck and let nature take its course…. One truck has already been so its still slightly possible. But then I was fine like meh mkay. But seriously forcing myself to stay alive for a 5 year old I’m starting to regret making that post/promise (I promised IRL to mah nephew) I get random thoughts in my head its weird… I’m weird… But hey some of u […]
Today was really hard. Couldn’t study for my final because all I kept thinking of were ways to get away with dying.
I failed my final. Possibly didn’t pass that class. Money spent for nothing. Parents are going to give me shit of course. I won’t ever finish college.
I lost a family member today. Talked someone out of not killing herself over a guy. Isn’t that weird how we can tell people it’s going to be okay and how suicide isn’t the answer?
When I’m cutting, I feel so in control of how deep I can go. I want to just hit a vein and be like […]
been a long time since i have suicidal thoughts going on through my mind . it seems like getting stronger each day . the scars on my wrist are getting deeper and deeper each day . and each day , I’m hating myself even more . every day i questioned myself why am i even alive . i just wished i can be died . be dead by losing a lot of blood or even eating a lot of pills so i overdosed . my life couldn’t get any worser . why am i alive . why is my life like this . i just […]
Welp so last week I got into a fight with one of the people from the old group of friends. They still haven’t said anything to me since then, so I assume we are no longer okay with each other…. Now I’m just down to two people and only one person that I see daily, which is probably going to end soon…. I really don’t want to go back to never talking to people again…. Also the quarter is over in a month, and that marks the end of a series of class that I’ve had for 2 years now, which means the people I […]
I thought I was getting better, but everything just seems to fall apart after a while. I met someone I’ve truly fallen in love with, and I’m afraid he will leave soon.
Who wouldn’t get tired of someone who cries every night and freaks out about everything? Who wants to lay in bed with someone with open wounds and stained pants or bedsheets? Sure you might say, “He loves you for who you are even on your bad days.” But what if my bad days are every day? I feel like he will get tired of saying everything will be okay and get annoyed with how […]
Hi guys, I am new to this site, came across it while looking for an outlet for my negative thoughts. I struggle to talk to people about how I feel, and I am finding it increasingly difficult to live with the loneliness of not being able to express myself. My friends are kind. I don’t have many, but the ones I do have I appreciate and are there for me often, but more in terms of meeting up and having fun, rather than being able to specifically talk to them. That’s why I am here.
For many years, I have felt insecure. I was severely bullied […]
It’s been years since I posted. My first post was when I was a sophomore in high school I think. I’m finishing up my second year in college now.
I guess being suicidal and severely depressed never goes away even when things change. I was a year clean from self harm. It’s all starting again.
I’ve only posted on here so many times but I’ve never really gotten deep into how I feel or what my life is like, mainly because I know nobody cares, but right now, things are so hard and I just really really wanna kill myself. The days are emotions range, I’m never truly happy though. I don’t think I can be happy on this earth anymore. Not until I leave it but I’m just at a really awful point right now and I don’t know what I’m looking for I just want to kill myself and feel so incredibly alone it’s awful.
I’m honestly sorry anyone’s even attempting to read this load of self-pity.
Am I really just a dog? I can’t be, my family likes dogs. So what does that make me? My brother and sister both talk to me as if I were a dog. My parents stand by and either continue it, or tell me to stop being such a baby about it. I know that at the end of the day, I am nothing and furthermore that my family sees me and recognizes the same thing; I am worthless.
I’ve honestly got the best friends I […]
Here is me.
I am like the Great Attractor for bullies
Everybody around me are either sadists, bullies or a quiet bystander.
People accuse ME of something that I did NOTHING wrong.
I am suffering from severe depression.
I have thought about at least 3 suicidal thoughts when I go to school.
I HATE school.
99% of the time when I get bullied or when I fall down or get a cut NOBODY helps me.
Teachers do nothing about the bullying or sometimes even bully me.
People don’t quite understand me.
I get bullied AT LEAST 5 TIMES A DAY.
I am NOT exaggerating.
I just (by “just” I meant a week ago) took an online test, it said I am Type IV gifted! “The type IV gifted are the angry and […]
i don’t really come here for help anymore, so please ignore me; i just wanted a place to ramble.
i never in my wildest dreams thought i would make it to eighteen- not once, even at my most optimistic, did i seriously consider the possibility that i’d still be here today… but i am here.
i don’t really know how i feel about that.
it’s almost kind of laughable, you know? like a bad joke or a fucked up riddle, what’s still there but not, what should be gone that isn’t, what do you call a ghost that’s still alive– and it’s me.
it’d be nice to say hey, […]
So after suffering for over a decade of loneliness, I’ve decided today is the day I will kill myself. No one knows the pain I am in because nobody cares to know me. People only know fragments of who I am, and when I open up, it only scares them away. I am 32 years old I haven’t had a girlfriend since my early 20s and I am a fairly successful individual. I have a master’s degree and make $100,000 year. I don’t tell you this to brag, but to demonstrate that this disease affects everyone. I have served in the military for over 8 […]
What do you all consider a bad friend to be like? I’d like to know your view on it because I feel my friends are treating me poorly..
So this is just a stupid rant so read or not. ..
Im sitting on a crowded bus with class dust and tiny fragments of glass from work stuck to my sweaty skin cos the air con is not working on this bus. Some guy has tried to jam himself onto my seat when its fucking abvious im having trouble folding my 6’4″ body into a seat made for a person who is 5′. I keep sweating and thatmmakes me more Iitchy.
I feel like everyone is staring at me. Anxiety thru the roof. 2 girls behind will not shut the fuck up!!
“Like […]