Category:

Stories of Loss

For those who have passed on.

Pain and Pleasure (a quick true story of a kid who fucks with the minds of depressed girls…)

by emotional.monster 5/22/2016

written by emotional.monster

So I am a senior male in high school. I’m 17 going on 18 at the end of June. There’s this one kid Zack who is a freshman at my school and I fucking hate him. I haven’t really talked to him but knowing what he does makes me sick. He dates a girl and makes out with her and everything, he is all sweet and charming and everything (little does anybody know he’s really a ***** and extremely aggressive and violent with guys) but the catch about the girls he dates is that they all self-harm (usually cutting). Sounds like a sweet boy right? […]

5/22/2016 3 comments

Remembering, and…

by Cordless 5/21/2016

written by Cordless

It’s late enough that probably everyone has gone to sleep or is out partying in that fuzzy world where beer helps us forget everything else.

But I’ll just post this anyway, to help myself think.

About 3 months ago, I posted THIS about a guy in our symphony who died. (Possibly/probably suicide).

His memorial service was last Thursday (they kept him on ice an extra long time because they had to wait for his brother to get home from overseas).

Since he was an excellent trumpet player, I’ve been trying to think of a way to pay tribute to that by composing a piece we can […]

5/21/2016 12 comments

The Truth of Life After Suicide

by HERE4UOK 5/18/2016

written by HERE4UOK

To Airrie. To IamABuilding. To vho. To Soco. To Iwantpeace2.
To joeld. To AnnieBear. To Raven. To Fantajin. To Nathaniel_Morisawa.
To into_the_sky. To rivets. To butterfly1123. To whiskered-fish. To those I missed.
To ALL of you.

I urge you to watch this documentary. No, I am not here to “save” you.
I don’t come here with false promises or magic potions. All I have is me.
I am HERE4UOK.

I just want you to be more aware, more informed, to feel encouraged a little. Maybe. For a moment even. In a positive way.
Don’t let the tunnel vision of entrapment, the wall of people and circumstances around […]

5/18/2016 9 comments

Wait to be Picked…

by HERE4UOK 5/17/2016

written by HERE4UOK

…Don’t cut your stem prematurely.

Please.

HERE4UOK
suesyd . nomore at gmail . co m

5/17/2016 5 comments

Death Day Log 2

by killswitchon 5/13/2016

written by killswitchon

Ground zero. My optics aren’t good. Police looking for me. Now it’s do or die. Do to die. No backing out now. Only matter of time til there on city wide manhunt. Fuck. I needed one more reason.

20H41

5/13/2016 2 comments

Death Day Log 1

by killswitchon 5/13/2016

written by killswitchon

Friday the Thirteenth
A good day to die. I’m ready. I know everything is too far gone. I know this moment has been the fate I’ve been delaying
for eight long years stuck in this disconnect. Once you lose your personality, soul and mind there’s truly nothing left.
It’s a solid three second drop into some broken concrete and rocks. Probably around 60 feet up. Need a running start — fly
like an eagle type thing. I just want to start a new life. Reincarnate. Jumping into a bed of concrete is a gnarly way to
go but I figure it’s the only way to […]

5/13/2016 4 comments

Turning Into An Idiot

by GerbzBaby 5/12/2016

written by GerbzBaby

Title says all. I’m becoming an idiot… My minds always in a blur to the point of forgetting. I’ve forgotten words, memories and plenty of other things like how to communicate with others. When I try to act smart I always turn out dumb, my friends make sure of it. They make me feel as though I’m an embarrassment. A shame. Not to long ago I had a hard time understanding the tv show I was watching. It took me a whole 10 seconds to process what they had said as well as what was going on. I don’t know what’s going on with me. […]

5/12/2016 1 comment

I Hate You

by CaptainMarvelous 5/10/2016

written by CaptainMarvelous

How dare you do this to me. If you wanted to die you should’ve done so by yourself, alone so you wouldn’t hurt anyone. Instead you fell in love with me, and made me fall in love with you.

You knew how badly I was hurt before. You knew I’d been abused, lost people, had people walk out on me or abandon me. You knew I was plagued by demons from my past. I thought I could trust you. You, of all people.

I can’t do anything without thinking of you. You’ve blighted my life with your loss. I just want to end things myself now. What […]

5/10/2016 1 comment

kill me pls

by wasd2333 5/7/2016

written by wasd2333

Here is me.

I am like the Great Attractor for bullies
Everybody around me are either sadists, bullies or a quiet bystander.
People accuse ME of something that I did NOTHING wrong.
I am suffering from severe depression.
I have thought about at least 3 suicidal thoughts when I go to school.
I HATE school.
99% of the time when I get bullied or when I fall down or get a cut NOBODY helps me.
Teachers do nothing about the bullying or sometimes even bully me.
People don’t quite understand me.
I get bullied AT LEAST 5 TIMES A DAY.
I am NOT exaggerating.
I just (by “just” I meant a week ago) took an online test, it said I am Type IV gifted! “The type IV gifted are the angry and […]

5/7/2016 1 comment

Today is the Day

by DeathIsAllIHave 5/6/2016

written by DeathIsAllIHave

So after suffering for over a decade of loneliness, I’ve decided today is the day I will kill myself. No one knows the pain I am in because nobody cares to know me. People only know fragments of who I am, and when I open up, it only scares them away. I am 32 years old I haven’t had a girlfriend since my early 20s and I am a fairly successful individual. I have a master’s degree and make $100,000 year. I don’t tell you this to brag, but to demonstrate that this disease affects everyone. I have served in the military for over 8 […]

5/6/2016 5 comments

Bad Friends

by GerbzBaby 5/6/2016

written by GerbzBaby

What do you all consider a bad friend to be like? I’d like to know your view on it because I feel my friends are treating me poorly..

5/6/2016 5 comments

Partly My Fault

by Cordless 5/3/2016

written by Cordless

triggers

Possible problem.

Last night I logged off and went to bed hours earlier than usual. I laid there and cried for what was probably an hour before falling asleep.

When I woke up today, I found that a friend had emailed me 20 minutes after I’d logged off. The email was brief and very desperate sounding, begging me to be there and answer. This friend has been in a suicidal mindset for quite a few months now; possibly even longer. Lately they’ve gotten more and more serious about it.

I feel […]

5/3/2016 4 comments

Friends.. What Are They Good For?

by GerbzBaby 5/1/2016

written by GerbzBaby

I literally did nothing over this weekend, no one contacted me asking how I was or nothin.. I hang out with the same person all the time and in all honesty I get sick of it. All we do is nothing when we hang out.. I need to find a new crowd to be in..

Even though I didn’t do anything here is a birb (hawk) I drew for my U.S History class. Enjoy.

5/1/2016 14 comments

Losing to Oregon

by HERE4UOK 5/1/2016

written by HERE4UOK

Losing yet another good acquaintance…

Let’s call him Roger. I just got an email from him saying goodbye. He’s moving to Seaside, OR

I didn’t know. WE didn’t know (one of the groups I volunteer at) he’d been planning ‘his trip’ since last year.

Roger is a two-time cancer survivor.

Always the fighter, he went to own the business he started working at years ago.

His youngest ‘child’ will be heading for college this summer.

Roger’s wife’s already waiting for him having passed a few years ago after a tragic accident.

Roger has a thriving business, family and has his entire affairs in order.

He also has ALS. An aggressive case of it.

It’s […]

5/1/2016 3 comments

I miss you, part 2

by CaptainMarvelous 4/30/2016

written by CaptainMarvelous

She loved me. She loved that I was a doctor. She loved that I helped people. When she talked to her best friend about me, she gushed about how I was a kind, generous, caring person that l loved kids.

I loved her. I loved how full of life she was. I loved that she was always trying to better herself. When I told my friends about her, I told them she was perfect. Warm, sunny, gentle. The perfect girl for me.

We named our future kids. Picked out our future house. Chose our future dog. She wanted it all. I wanted it all. We both did, […]

4/30/2016 1 comment

Retirement

by mranony 4/30/2016

written by mranony

Today, I heard the news that one of my favorite teachers died. I could have accepted it better if it was a natural death but I heard it was not.

He was robbed and killed. Shot. In. The. Mouth.

He was an old man. Excited for his long awaited retirement. He wanted to go to places. And now he can’t.

He was strict but fun. He made us recite this poem he made everyday. But it’s not the boring kind of recitation. He likes to twist it around. He was a jolly old man.

He believed in our potential. He taught us a lot of words. And it was […]

4/30/2016 4 comments

I miss you

by CaptainMarvelous 4/28/2016

written by CaptainMarvelous

It was almost magical, the way we met. We had talked online occasionally for a few months before, on and off. The day before she went back to school from spring break, she told me where her home was. Only a 30 minute drive from where I lived. We immediately decided to meet. When we met we exchanged stuffed animals. She thought I was going to take her to Taco Bell. I ended up sharing a plate of pasta with her in a restaurant, then brought her home where we watched a movie. Her head was in my lap, and looking deep in each others’ […]

4/28/2016 8 comments

Now what?

by bloodstainedlips 4/25/2016

written by bloodstainedlips

What do you do when suddenly the person who meant the world to you, is gone. When you’ve shared everything with that person, built up trust in them, grew with them, gave them all of you.. shared all your “firsts” with them because you knew they would be there forever and you knew them so well – or you thought you did. You “knew” they would never betray you or lie to you because they loved you and you had so much confidence in it that there was absolutely no questioning it. You do everything for that person, for years they are your best friend […]

4/25/2016 8 comments

Drained…all ways…emotinally…mentally..!

by Giaahhh 4/24/2016

written by Giaahhh

Poor l’le grl…..she was juz done with it…. Tired of everything…. She was stuck…..she was craving to find few traces of life in her…..a reason to live….sadly…. Cudn’t…

She felt…. She was a mere disappointment…. She feared things…. And this time she ws giving up….coz…no ray of hope made a way to her room….

Lost soul….. Juz a reflection of a human….!

4/24/2016 0 comment

Don’t Hurt Me

by GerbzBaby 4/24/2016

written by GerbzBaby

A vent drawing inspired by the man that hurt me! Thank you for doing that to me boy! :/

Not finished with it yet, still working out details. Might post the finished product later.

(It’s a tiger and a red panda if it’s to hard to tell, tiger obviously represents the one I once loved and the red panda at the bottom represents me.)

4/24/2016 9 comments

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