Category:

Suicidal Survivors

For those who have survived suicide.

I don’t get it.

by helenabeat 2/8/2015

written by helenabeat

Ok. So umm, I have this 2 years with depression and I just realize the fact that I saved my friend’s life and they didn’t care when I tried to kill myself. So I think this is all fucked up. All this system I mean wtf people! Why are they so hypocrites? Oh my god. I’m not saying that’s why I tried to kill myself because I do have my reasons, but they knew and they didn’t care, and I just realize that. and it makes me sad, because they knew how lonely I felt and I feel, and they know about everything and […]

2/8/2015 4 comments

fuck reality , fuck real life , fuck real world , because reality / real-world / real-life is boring ! Imagination /dreams / fantasy is better than reality / real-world / real-life !

by niki 2/5/2015

written by niki

I think (some) people would agree that our everyday’s reality / real life / real world life is boring, mundane, repetitive routines, jobs, to make money, and even the ‘fun’ stuff like party, sex, dance, etc in the end still can’t beat our wildest dreams / imagination / fantasy .

Movies , video games , comics , books , novels , anime , manga often are a HUNDRED times much more interesting than this mundane, dull, LIMITED / LIMITING, boring reality / boring reallife / boring realworld !
eg: Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Avatar, X-Men, Marvel heroes / comics , Star Wars, Star Trek, […]

2/5/2015 2 comments

Still in a Dark Place

by the12thdreamcatcher 2/4/2015

written by the12thdreamcatcher

Hi, this is my first post, so I thought I should tell you guys about my story…….

My parents both are a little messed up, my mother has OCD and Major Depressive Disorder. My dad has PTSD, that has made him turn to drug addiction. My parents both smoke marajuana (which is sadly, legal in our state) and that ended in my siblings and I being split up and put in different various foster homes. Since about two years ago I started self-harming (burning) and I have had two suicide attempts. After my first suicide attempt my families court case got closed and everyone returned home. […]

2/4/2015 1 comment

Virtual Reality is escape from boring reality sucks , Virtual Reality is escape from boring real world sucks , Virtual Reality is escape from boring real life suck !

by niki 1/30/2015

written by niki

Virtual Reality is escape from boring reality suck ,
Virtual Reality is escape from boring real world suck ,
Virtual Reality is escape from boring real life sucks !

We all know that this Reality / Real-world / Real-life is very LIMITED / LIMITING !
everyday we do the same routines , chores , go make money , make money / profits , go to boring shitty jobs because of money , and then we go have fun, party, sex, entertainment etc etc , and then it repeats again !
What’s so interesting about that ??
I’ve observed that most people who actually LOVE all those […]

1/30/2015 5 comments

I need help

by dgjb 1/29/2015

written by dgjb

About a year ago I got high and bullied a friend. I hurt her so bad that she attempted suicide then I felt really bad and have been depressed/suicidal ever since. I have moments in school where just like whatever and go into the bathroom and cut myself. It also doesn’t help when someone sees the cuts and tells people. I felt as if I dug a 100 foot hole I can’t get out of. My life is done. It won’t get better.

Edit: I forgot to say I’m also bullied and have been since 4th grade (currently in 8th) and its hard to deal with […]

1/29/2015 3 comments

November 19th, 2014.

by lostsoulblanklife 1/24/2015

written by lostsoulblanklife

November 19th, 2014 was my first suicide attempt. I’ve been suicidal ever since 1st grade. I’ve been suffering for 10 motherfucking years.

November 19th, was the day. Right before school, I ran up to my parents’ bathroom. I was about to brush my teeth, when it hit me. I looked to my left. There it was. The cabinet door was open. Full of pills. In the moment, I wasn’t thinking. They were right there. Uselessly sitting there. I slowly crept over to the cabinet. Looked at which bottle had more pills. Of course I wasn’t thinking of the details, what they were, what they could do […]

1/24/2015 1 comment

Had to tell somebody

by jennjenn 1/20/2015

written by jennjenn

So for starters, I’ve tried to commit suicide maybe half a dozen times. Through pills, a few vain attempts at cutting my wrists, which have left my arms embarrassing and cumbersome for finding work. I have been a cutter since I was 15, but those scars are hidden.

I used drugs for many years, meth, x, and shot coke for awhile. Well, I did it, I quit drugs. At 22, but than I started drinking. Real fun drinking, but managed to keep a job. When I didnt have a job, I drank all day and all night.

So I meet a man. Also an alcoholic. We moved […]

1/20/2015 3 comments

Idk what to do

by darksouI 1/17/2015

written by darksouI

uhm hi everyone,im new here.so last summer i tried to kill myself with pills but i failed and ended up in hospital for 2 weeks.i was diagnosed with major depression.my whole family thinks this is some kind of joke,they think that theres no way i could be depressed bc im just a teen and its so disgustin and annoying.my parents are horrible.theyre calling me names and expect too much.i cry almost everynight because i cant get their words oyt of my head.my mom thinks “i’ve everything” but to her everything is money and material stuff.they never tried talking to me and always act like everything […]

1/17/2015 3 comments

An Unwelcome Guest

by Silverbird 1/16/2015

written by Silverbird

A disclaimer to the world.

I really don’t belong. There’s no conceivable place on this planet where I belong.

The public is my enemy. If you put someone in front of me, I’ll do everything in my power to disregard them, including not-disregarding them. My mask is so genuine that it even deceives myself half the time, such is the cost of being able to blend into society, and avoid being a homeless bum the rest of my pitiful existence (of which will continue to be a pitiful existence, bum or not, however bums are publicly pitiful, which is why I’m willing to throw myself away most […]

1/16/2015 1 comment

Vulnerability

by cr-123456 1/13/2015

written by cr-123456

Hello,

Thanks for taking the time to read this post. I have been thinking about shame and guilt. What I’ve noticed so far that I have done some terrible things in my life as a result of shame. I have intense suicidal thoughts due to shame. Shame, meaning I am a bad person and guilt meaning I have bad behaviors.

At times, I think people use shame and guilt interchangeably, which is detrimental to someone who struggles with mental illness. I have a lot of shame. I am shameful of my ethnic background, I am shameful of my behaviors and people I’ve hurt. There’s several things wrong […]

1/13/2015 1 comment

I’m Back, It Helped

by moonlitrose34 1/12/2015

written by moonlitrose34

Soooo…first off, I wanted to thank all the people that gave me all of their encouraging comments on my last post, and in general. (which was about a week ago)

That was when I was hospitalized. I didn’t have my phone..and there were two computers to use the internet, which was crappy, but I think I would’ve thrown a red flag out there had I gotten on here, so I waited until I was out. Today I got discharged from the hospital, and I just wanted to talk about my experience.

So I was terrified when I first went there, I went voluntarily but I was still […]

1/12/2015 15 comments

my story on why i wish to end it

by munckin 1/6/2015

written by munckin

The current situation is a sick love story. The girl who I think is the one, thinks the same of me… Yet; she cheats on me and gives as reason that she is insecure due to that I got a message on my phone in the early stage of our relationship. She is also jealous the moment someone looks at me in a club; me noticing that someone is looking at me is enough to shatter her self-esteem.

Then after several months of dating she tells me she need to meet her ex to be sure of her feelings and that this relationship is truly the […]

1/6/2015 12 comments

You’re not alone.

by Moistwaffles1 1/2/2015

written by Moistwaffles1

I don’t really see a point in this whole life thing. You wake up, do your daily routine, something happens that kills you inside, you go home and cry, then you fall asleep. At least, that’s how it is in my book. I remember when I used to be happy. When I could go outside and play with the other kids in the neighborhood. When I could put on my mothers clothes and tell her I was going to be just like her. What happened? I went from that, to being so sensitive to everything that happens in my life. And it sucks because I […]

1/2/2015 5 comments

Goodbye, Goodbye

by moonlitrose34 1/1/2015

written by moonlitrose34

This isn’t anything special. It’s just a poem I wrote at 5 am. Even though it’s not that great, it describes my inner turmoil.

I want to talk about this pain,
That I’ve felt was always in vain,

Do you really not see,
What’s become of me?

On silent nights,
I always fight,

As tears run down my eyes,
Each teardrop breaking my ties,

My ties with this world,
As I am hurled,

Into this insanity,
Which will never set me free.

My teardrops slowly become red,
Food for the blade that I’ve fed.

They tell me that all will be well,
While I slowly rot away in this hell,

Could they not tell […]

1/1/2015 2 comments

Will It Ever End?

by suicidalflower 12/31/2014

written by suicidalflower

Here I lay at 3am still trying to fall asleep.

The thoughts of suicide keep flooding into my mind. Prying at the walls of my skull. Screaming in my ears and telling me to kill myself. Though, I’ve tried it a few times. But my world never seemed to end.

Drink bleach; I’m rushed to the hospital.

Overdose; my body refused.

Climb to the top of a building; I’m afraid of heights.

People tell me that God put me here for a reason. But prove to me that this God exists and that he put me here for a reason. I am suffering in this madness. If this God supposedly […]

12/31/2014 3 comments

life is sad…

by darkness_within 12/29/2014

written by darkness_within

Mh.. I want to share this now..

Life has no meaning, it’s only a shitty story with a happy start. Im jealous that i’ll never see the things like the other happy people do.

It’s a shame that I cant do something right… The only thing i ever wanted was to do something right.. That the people i love the most would be proud of me..but.i guess that’ll never happen.

My mom was never proud of me and she never will.

But im over it now.

The people i love will die. And i’ll die too.

Live isn’t for everyone.

Live isn’t for me.

This live is just sad. Thats my opinion. Everything […]

12/29/2014 2 comments

Love and Loss

by QuixoticNomad 12/28/2014

written by QuixoticNomad

The years between my graduation from college and meeting you were filled with depression and loss; I was in an existential crisis; I was a tortured soul. I became an abuser of alcohol. But, that abuse went unnoticed because I lived in a college town where binge drinking was the norm. I worked a job where my co-workers partied hard. We had so many parties where I drank to the point of blacking out on too many occasions to count. I suppose the drinking was a way to cope with my distress. I can remember many occasions where I would be driving or doing any […]

12/28/2014 6 comments

Life is empty & meaningless, without any/no purpose, Life is boring, empty! There is no meaning of life! fuck life, fuck reality !

by niki 12/28/2014

written by niki

Life is empty & meaningless, without any/no purpose, Life is boring, empty! There is no meaning of life! fuck life, fuck reality !

The more I grow up & learn after all these 32 years of my life, sadly, the more I feel hopeless especially for humanity / our humans species!
MAJORITY of people / humans beings / humanity are so damn shallow, superficial, vain, ignorant, stupid, fake, dirty, liars, etc etc.
I used to have so much HOPE for humanity , but now the hope is dwindling until it’s almost none !!
MOST people are sadly only concerned with vain, shallow, mundane “daily-life” & little […]

12/28/2014 19 comments

Alone

by QuixoticNomad 12/26/2014

written by QuixoticNomad

I feel so absolutely alone even though I’m surrounded by very dear friends. I can’t talk to them about the things that bother me because then they’ll see who I really am; a weirdo, a creep, a monster. I’m all alone and my story of loss and heart break doesn’t matter.

I wish I had died when I attempted suicide twice within two days a few years ago. It seems that my life will only be comprised of me pretending to be happy when on the inside I’m suffering egregiously.

I wish there was something I could do to take away the pain, but there is nothing. Therapy […]

12/26/2014 2 comments

Warning ! Psychiatric meds can suck

by Patrick Anarchy 12/21/2014

written by Patrick Anarchy

Some of you might disagree or not believe this story but its the TRUTH.

A lot of doctors and psychiatrists are NOT even aware themselves just how terrible psychiatric meds are because they are misinformed or lied to from the drug companies which FUND Psychiatry itself. Psychotropics made me very helpless against my depression and some could have permanently disfigured me. They lowered my inhibitions and I did things which I permanently regret now. I was prescribed 16 different psych meds at different times in the last 6 years.

You should all consider reading MEDICATION MADNESS by Dr. Peter Breggin. a Psychiatrist who is FIRMLY against psychiatric medications. The book changed my life , […]

12/21/2014 9 comments

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