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Suicidal Survivors

For those who have survived suicide.

My tragic story…

by Maddie
written by Maddie

Hello my name is Maddie and I’m 13. I bet some of you are probably thinking ” what would a 13 year old know about being depressed ” well i know alot. It started when i was 5. When i was 5 my mom died in a car accident. I don’t really remember her and it sucks :(. When i was 8 my dad put me up for adoption so i would have a better life. Since i was 8 i’ve been getting bullied because i’m either too fat or too ugly or too short. People just have so much fun judging me. So from […]

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My Story

by youdontknowher
written by youdontknowher

Okay, I’ve read some stories on here and they made me feel like I could share mine. When I was in seventh grade I was a really happy person. I was like everyone else. I laughed, I played around a lot. I was always happy. Then towards the end of the year this girl (I’ll call her P) started to harass me. She constantly talked bad about me and said terrible things. She would write posts about me on Facebook and say I didn’t deserve to be alive. I don’t know why she hated me so much. Her and her group of friends would constantly […]

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Conflicted (Opinions Much Appreciated)

by crossingboundaries
written by crossingboundaries

This is my second post. My first is a life story of sorts. But the basics you need to know before you read the rest of this are: 1. I’ve struggled with severe mental illness for over half my life, and I’m young. I’ve made five very serious suicide attempts and have been psychiatrically institutionalized 11 times. So, I’m a very experienced mental patient. 2. As ironic as it is, I work in an acute care mental health facility. Most of our patients are either suicidal or have just been medically cleared and sent to us after attempting suicide. So I guess you […]

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Dear Counselor

by KissOfDeath
written by KissOfDeath

I watch you listen to me,
but do you really hear me?

You use that sweet tone of voice, I’m sure that everyone gets,
I want to trust you, but your eyes are full of judgment and pity.

I am seeking help, but I am sure this is going to doom me.
I have nothing to say, I am choking on my tears.

I am so desperately looking for the solution to fix this problem.

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Life update

by faith099
written by faith099

Last time I posted on here I was 16 now I’m 19. I still struggle with depression and anxiety I have been diagnosed with major depressive disorder and panic disorder. I have been to a psych ward and everything. I have overcome my self harm. And now I have a wonderful fiance. I guess I just had to wait for things to come to me. No I’m not 100% okay but I’m not on the same state of mind I used to be. I still have the scars from my 16 year old self to remind myself what it was like before. It is better […]

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Suicide: Not So Glamerous.

by crossingboundaries
written by crossingboundaries

Suicide is a central aspect of my entire existence. It’s not just about my own life, though I’ve tried to end it many times. It’s also about the lives of others. Ironically, I work in a psychiatric facility, and just when I think I’ve seen everything, someone else comes along with a near-death experience that leaves me feeling 1. Sad for them, and 2. Cowardly for not trying as hard as they did to kill myself.

My first attempt was at age 11. I had just been accused of a terrible act that tore my family apart, and I was left traumatized and alone. So I […]

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Pills

by curlylion720
written by curlylion720

I am a 14 year old teenager, depressed and suicidal. I know this may sound stupid but does anyone know any pills that will make me pass out if I overdose? I am not exactly trying to kill myself, just a way of revealing my pain to my parent without having to actually talk to them, but let’s just say I wouldn’t care if I died overdosing.

I know I will receive lots of “don’t do this” “you don’t deserve life” and “you’re worth it” but I don’t believe any of that. I hate my life and myself so much, I don’t think anything or anyone […]

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Hiding scars

by curlylion720
written by curlylion720

I have been cutting for about three months now. I cut my wrists, legs and stomach. I have been very good at hiding them, at least I thinks so, but now I have a problem. I’m sick therefore not going to school and left alone at home for the day. My mom’s friend is a doctor and my mom asked her to come over and check upon me, find out why I’m sick and how to recover. I’m so scared that the doctor is going to make me undress, because I’ve been to doctors loads of times before I started self harming and many times […]

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Suicide Fail

by flipnflap
written by flipnflap

So I posted before on another account that I would attempt the dehydration suicide method. I said I would check in a hotel on my forth day of drinking and eating nothing. I did but it was on the 6th day. I took some things with me in a backpack like clothes my toothbrush mouthwash moisturizer  and my note in a sealed envelope. I was feeling very weak already I had to raise my voice a little because I couldn’t hear myself and no one could, I was just confused the whole time. The people who saw me I guess they thought I’ve always been […]

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Break-up letter to my mother

by Engie
written by Engie

I’ve been trying to write a break-up letter to my mother for at least a week now. The week before, I waited to make sure I was making the right choice and was not acting uncharacteristically emotional.

I want to write this letter, but I just can’t be bothered. It seems like too much effort. Maybe I need to write down the main points and then flesh it out. Don’t really know why I’m doing it though. I mean, if I’m never going to speak to her or any of her siblings again, do I really care what she thinks? Maybe I’m doing it so she […]

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Painless suicide

by B
written by B

I know there are endless threads on this topic but I can’t seem to find a consistent answer. Does anyone know of a painless way to commit suicide (either from research or from a painless past overdose)? I do not know if I will get a response and if I do receive one I am not looking for some form of moral support. I understand that there is much to take out of life and that, as the 15 year old I am, I have not yet experienced many of the joys life has to offer, but I have suffered for too long. Medications and […]

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Raw emotion

by StayingAnonymous
written by StayingAnonymous

It’s been such a long time. Just by being back here I feel all the hidden pain come rushing to the surface. It’s fimilar, almost comforting.

I’m ashamed to be here. Understanding my depression, and facing it head on, was my greatest downfall in life. Yet somehow, I tamed the beast. I lived two years of happiness. Oh god, it was purely amazing. Looking back, it was remarkable, something I’d never thought possible. I cannot say that I’m angry it’s over, there’s no self pity here. I am grateful for the time I was given. I always knew in the back of my mind, that my […]

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It Needs To Stop

by hooded_girl
written by hooded_girl

1 became 2, then 2 to 4. 1 cut every time my heart fell to the floor.
4 became 5, then 5 to 8. 1 cut every time I’ve experienced self-hate.
8 became 9, then 9 to 11. 1 cut every time I wish I was in Heaven.
11 became 12, then 12 to 16. 1 cut every time they were ever mean.
16 became 17, then 17 to 21. 1 last cut before my life was done.
1 cut, 2 cut, 3 cut, 4.
Loss of blood, my mind began to flood, as my life went on no more.
Self-Harm is like a drug […]

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That’s frustrating !

by BanjoDK
written by BanjoDK

Finally! I did it late last afternoon. I made everything ready, and then set me Down in my sofa/ couch and drank 4 beer. I found some good music on my stereo and did it! But… I woke up on the floor. The homemade fabric “Rope” i had made was broken. I remember when i was “Gone” hearing a lot of noise and wery fast loud breathing sounds. Really scary. I don’t know how long i was gone. When i woke up i did’nt knew WHO i was or WHERE i was for like 10 seconds. It was wery unrealistic. Now my throat Hurts when i swallow, […]

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Why do they do it?

by Rex_Dawn
written by Rex_Dawn

They treat you like crap in the real life, yet they act like they care on the internet. Why is this? Why do they stab you in the back to your face. They don’t see the cuts, they think I’m fine, they think it doesn’t hurt, they also believe I do not cut from excuses. No one thinks I’m a good liar, they don’t know how good of a liar I really am. I hide my cuts they don’t suspect. I plot to leave, but my uncle keeps me here by making me show a true smile. When he helps me they hurt him, I […]

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Broken…

by thepillboy
written by thepillboy

This whole thing started about 5 years ago…i was 15 then…life started to hit me even harder than before…i grew with my grandparents,not so nice,they we’re always fighting over silly things,my grandpa was an alcoholic dog,my grandma was always nice,miss her btw  ^^.I grew with my grandparents because my parents left the country when i was 8.So,after my 15 th birthday,you know,puberty,all of that shit,started to smoke,drink,party,it was good,you know,so good,until love started to hit me like an hurricane,i was so in love…she knew,i told her so many times,but she didn’t care…for 2 years i couldn’t stop thinking about her…that’s not nice…a few sleepless nights,drinking […]

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whats my purpose…

by mrlopez1415
written by mrlopez1415

This feeling of, ‘wanting to just die’ has last for about 4 years now.  I’ve tried hanging myself multiple times, but I always fail…  I use to walk down the road hoping a car would hit me.  I’ve had close near death experiences from drugs and alcohol, but wonder why I hadn’t died?  That raises the question to what is my purpose on this planet.  Nowadays, I have no urge to kill myself, but just hopes that something would just end me instantly. So now I try to hope everyday, that a miracle (that I think in the back of my mind won’t happen) would […]

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My Dearest Collin

by rossonmarcus
written by rossonmarcus

My Dearest Collin

In the time that has passed since your death, I have struggled with why you did it…why you killed yourself.  You had no mental illness. You didn’t struggle with depression.  You had no previous attempts or cries for help.  You had a loving girlfriend that wanted to marry you.  You had a good job, good friends…a family that loved you.   So you had received several speeding tickets and lost your license.  So you got caught driving on a suspended license and extended the suspension of your driving priveledges.  So, you drove your inebriated friend home from the bar because he was in no shape […]

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Trying this out. Hoping someone is out there?

by Autumn Jane Sky
written by Autumn Jane Sky

Hi. I found this site last February by accident and have been popping in once and a while to check out posts. Today I decided to register. Why so? I’m not exactly sure. All I know is that I’ve tried two ways now to die, both have failed on numerous attempts. I’m seeing a psychologist and I’m on medication to control my anxiety problems and depression. I’m 4’2″ living with a type of dwarfism known as achondroplasia. I absolutely hate my body and luv carving it with pretty red sketches. There are voices inside my head and they aren’t all that pleasant. So Yeh, I’m […]

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