Thinking about the past is one of the worst things one can do, once you are alone you start thinking about every problem and struggle you have gone through. Thinking about a situation you want to completely forget about but it will always be there no matter how much time goes by.
And it hurts, it hurts so much.
Because no one ever thinks that that situation was going to ever happen but it did and there is nothing one can really do about it.
Here, here, I am the child, only here
How can, arcane, in a way, life beautiful
This is like the last song, so sad, in the end
The end, that ended so long ago
A pain of the eternal, what I want
Why me, the way, there is no way
Breathe
What should I do if my friend is fantasizing about my boyfriend? She told me herself that she was fantasizing about my boyfriend…and my boyfriend said he has thought of the same way with her, but he says he loves me and he means it.
I don’t know what to do about it……it’s making me uncomfortable.
I don’t want to lose my friend or my boyfriend, but I’m afraid if I tell them I feel uncomfortable about it..I’ll make them upset. It makes me feel like I don’t deserve him…
p.s
I don’t really know about relationships, since this is my first one…i don’t know how […]
Oh goodness I am so tired of people telling me I have a drug problem. I do not. My Mentor told me, “If anyone takes a substance to not feel, then that’s a problem.” I’m sorry I feel so sad all the time and am worried about other things, that I take pain pills to deal with it, and I cut myself to deal with it. I don’t know what else to do when I am so down in the dumps. I don’t know what to do. If I do have a problem, so what? No one is going to ‘help’ this poor 16 year […]
can’t cut. made a promise. not that he’d find out. bars. captured. trapped. prison. burn my skin. bubbling. blistering. open. exclamations. under my breath. laughing. you asking. why. makes me better. the panic attacks. stop. fade. breathing. meditation. calming. focusing. on the pain. think it’s stupid. don’t want me to do it. again. scarred. regret. not now. not then.
self-mutilation. punishment. feeling. don’t have time for that shit. oblivious. addicting. no deep. well rehearsed. reason. i need it. simple fact. if i don’t have that. hold it all in. bottle it up. no outlet. nothing. no way to deal. handle. cope. heard that’s unhealthy. and my […]
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/suicide-is-bad-for-your-health.mp3
This was inspired by iTried it.
I’m a super novice.
like I sttarted last week.
You can’t even sing the words to it.
but this is what i heard when I read your poem.
I wish I was a little bit better.
I think it’s time.
Tomorrow should work. I have my old bottle of Maker’s Mark. Also have some oxycodones the wife didn’t take from her recent surgery. One last buzz on whiskey and pain killers. I’ll pass on the smokes, though. Don’t want to rouse suspicion from the neighbors. Rope is knotted and marked. I’ll just call into work, wait for the wife and daughter to leave, then go back home.
Tomorrow, I can finally give up.
Thanks for listening, everyone.
This is my first and only intended post to the site and I wanted to recognise that there is some encouraging words displayed and some wonderful people who take the time to care for anonymous persons they don’t peen know.
Sadly I am not a person that deserves that care. I have a loving family, wonderful wife and beautiful baby girl! All of whom I adore and love without question. I am not a good person though and don’t deserve their love. By sticking around I a making life harder for everyone and drawing out the painful inevitable process, my choice is my last feeling of […]
At some point in life, you have to take a deep breath and think twice. You have to put aside all the things that made you cry, and look at the brighter things in life. Like going home to love and support, instead of going hold to a homeless shelter because you’re poor. But always be thankful for the life that you’re livin, because you could’ve been just another abortion. Sometimes we don’t see a reason for livin’, because we are raped, abused, and mistreated. So we cut, do drugs, and become suicidal , for some of us the voices in our head can make […]
So many what ifs. So many assumptions.
“What if one day we all die? What if one day you leave me? What if I die now? What if I wasn’t born? Will everything be better?”
Beware, be careful. Be safe from your thoughts and divert attention from them. They are dangerous.
“what ifs” are questions that will kill you.
That sharp stab of betrayal. From someone you thought that knew how to differ from right and wrong and what was good and evil. Now you don’t know who to trust anymore. It’s painful. It hurts. Ouch.
So around a year ago I was the worst I think I’ve ever been, I was covered in cuts, barely eating, throwing up everything I did eat and overdosing around 3 times a week. I lost my friends and my family were just ashamed of me. I was kicked out of college and lost my job. I attempted recovery for around 8 months after coming out of a short stay in hospital, but now, just as I thought it was all getting better, I can’t stop thinking about suicide. The only person I’ve ever truly loved decided it is possible to be totally 100% in […]
I guess I’ve been depressed for years now.. And it’s rough. The worst of it is that most others don’t understand. “What’s wrong with you?” “You just have to be positive..” “I can’t handle you being sad all the time.” Lately the suicidal thoughts are occurring more often and seem to be sounding like very viable options, and I hate that. I woke up this morning and just cried. Mainly because I hate my job, my living arrangements, and my current economic standing. I hate that I am so ridiculously lonely all the time, yet consciously choose to be alone. I hate that I know […]
Send me straight to hell
Severely rendered, wtf am I doing
Wtf are you doing, my pain and suffering
Angel, kill me a million time, bewildered child
A fish out of water died in the cold muck in the night
My emblem of, meteor strike me to death now
The three-thousand eye, Cage is in chain
And the story, nobody saved me
Continuum, child of the metal Horse
In the psycho-binary, there is a fated in such a way
Meteor save me now
So here I am again head filled with the how and when and other preparations for my death. Being someone who likes to do things right I was astonished to live through my first suicide attempt a few years back. I have chosen a different method this time. My plans are nearly finalised. I just can’t get past my 3 kids. I managed to say my goodbyes last time. This time I just cant imagine what will happen to them. I know they will be split up and go to their respective fathers but it is after that. How can I make them understand but […]
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I feel like i need to come clean. But I can’t talk to anyone without terrifying repercussions.
I want help, but help might be taking away every reason I have to live for.
What happens to suicidal people who reach out for help?
I’ve tried talking to therapists. After an hour (an expensive hour) most look at me wide eyed with shock. “That’s where you teach? Those are the kids you work with? What do you do when you don’t feel safe at work?”
Or sympathetic, “I’m so sorry that you are losing the use of your legs. It must be awful to be in pain all the […]
I’m turning 26 next Friday. My life is an absolute mess, I dont even know where to start. I’ve had thoughts about suicide for about 10 years now.
I’m overweight (240lbs/5’10”), not handsome at all, never had a girlfriend. My friends keep on telling me that I’m such a nice guy, but what does that help with anything. I also have social anxiety disorder, which I try to ignore most of the time.
I tried to turn my life around once when I was 16, just thinking that I might find some kind of goal. I went from 255 lbs to 199 lbs in the span of a year, […]
I am a late diagnosed female of Asperger syndrome. I have never had any friends. I disowned my toxic family. My marriage is in shit street. I have never been able to work for too long despite having many talents that I cannot seem to apply in the working world. I also have 3 children. 2 are autistic. Life is too difficult. I have endured far too many relationship breakdowns that I completely avoid and cannot trust people any longer. I look to my future and see nothing but loneliness, more pain, illness, and bitterness. How is it rational to want to live for that […]