I’m more fearful of people than I am of death. I’m close to getting what I need to exit peacefully. It’s a shame that I have to hide my intentions or face being locked up. I just want the noise to stop, the mind to cease its chatter, to stop being a slave. To be free of my body, cruel people, and the infirmities of human kind. A peaceful place to rest is where I wish to be.
I see every single imperfection that comes along with me…hopeing that maybe one day I’ll find a way to fix it…but I know I’ll never be good enough….not for anyone else but myself….I’ll always find something else to pick on…
I have the words on the tip of my tongue, but somehow my coward heart will not let me speak them out.
It’s wasting life, dying slowly. I should love pain, cause he’s the meaning of it.
I have a block deep in my mind.
Not as simple as to describe as a writers block or an artists block.
No.
This block is much different. It cannot be fixed by just walking away and coming back later.
My block is purely mental.
I cannot feel happiness.
Now let me make something clear. It’s not that I do not wat to feel happiness. It’s that I physically cannot.
It feels like I am empty. Like someone has ripped my heart and lungs out.
I am drowning in myself.
And I dont think there is any escape.
Someone save me.
This is my first post. My life has been full of setbacks and disappointments many by my own bad choices and many by terrible luck. I am possibly the biggest underachiever in the world. That’s why I couldn’t be happier when I met my beautiful wife learned that she wanted to be with me. 7 years later after watching her love turn cold after realizing that she was stuck with a loser she left (10 weeks ago). I am still holding out hope that we can save our marriage but that hope is fading. There are a few reasons to be hopeful but also many reasons that lead […]
For the time being, I am here. Death scares me enough to make life seem worth enduring. But you can’t live like that, day to day. You can’t live purely to postpose the negative. The mind needs something positive to drive it.
So…happiness. Peace. Being truly present in the moment, without feeling the need for a way out. Feeling comfortable in your own skin. Feeling truly glad that you, and the world around you, exist.
It’s been a long time. I haven’t felt able to be myself around people or really enjoy their company since I was 10 (17 years). I haven’t felt good about the world, […]
I think its time for me to open up. I want to tell my mom but I don’t know how to. I was about 14 when I was rapped. I thought she was my friend, but I guess wrong. She said that if I didn’t let her, she would kill me. I was scared for my life that I let it happen. I feel like it’s my fault, I shouldn’t have let it happen. I would go into detail on how it happen, but I don’t think anyone wants to read about that. I feel like if I tell my mom she might blame herself […]
I have no idea how long its been since i was last on here but i know its been awhile. I miss coming on the site everyday reading everyone’s stories, trying to help.
This week has been really rough for me. I have had 2 friends who tried killing themselves. Honestly i cant take this anymore. It hurts. I stayed up 2 nights in a row trying to talk one of them out. But it didn’t work…he tried and failed, thank god. I dont know what i would do without him in my life, he has talked me out of suicide a lot. theres something about […]
I’ve only i guess overdosed once but it was very pathetically. I don’t know if tylenol can kill you, or aleve. does anyone know if it can?
I used to self harm on a fairly regular basis. It helps me feel in control of my out of control life. I promised my boyfriend I would quit. I used to have him sit in the shower with me just so I wouldn’t be alone and tempted to use the blade I keep hidden in there. Hell, I even got a tattoo on my left arm to cover the scars and make a promise to myself that I wouldn’t do it again.
Well..today I failed.. no one will see them. No one pays attention and I’m a very convincing liar. My psych doctor calls […]
Well ever since sixth grade I have felt alone. Even though I have a best friend. half the time I don’t think she wants to be friends with me. I am getting to the point where I am close to giving up again. I cant keep feeling like a nothing. I always feel worthless and alone. I have no clue that else to do anymore. Nobody at my school likes me, so instead they pick on me and tease me. I tried telling the teachers but nothing helped or worked. I cant even ride the bus anymore because I can’t handle the teasing that happens […]
I have so many things to do this week and I’m having trouble bringing myself to do them. I’m just focusing on how shitty I’ve been feeling these past few days. How do I snap out of it? I thought I was feeling better yesterday or at least beginning to feel better but I guess I wasn’t because now it’s coming all back. I can’t afford to feel this way right now. I feel like most of the time I try to suppress how I feel because I always have something to do. Something is always due, and I always have some sort of exam […]
Are all male poets unfaithful, disloyal cheating sons of *beep* who like to lead on more than one woman at once? Just wondering
How do you let out years and years of built up frustrations and anger in a way that isn’t “wrong”…
Hello. I was born in a male body and given the name Michael.
I don’t identify as a male. Since puberty, my body has felt as if I had breasts and they were cut off. My penis and testicles feel as if they were stitched on. They’re always in the way.
I would really like to transition. I’d like for people to be able to see me as I see myself, and not the physical husk that I look at in the mirror every morning and every night. I would love to, but I need money, and time, and I need everyone to accept that I’m a […]
just saw a christmas countdown on the news.37 days til christmas.where the fuck did the time go?
now i’m all anxious since i haven’t found a job, been unemployed for almost a year.and it’s crushing me since i promised myself that i would make our family’s 2014 holiday celebrations grand.i’ll fund it, make my parents happy and proud,be the best eldest sis giving presents to my siblings.give grown-up gifts to my relatives as a sign of gratitude.bake a lovely cake, impress my bf and his family.
shit, i’m not going to be able to do any of that.none of that.i’m a fucking disgrace, a loser.it’s making […]
My Ex Best Friend and Mate are Dating and When I asked Him out He Answer was: “He Wasn’t Ready To Date” But it’s ok to Date My Ex Best Friend and Not Me Arghhhhhh Grrrrrrr That Makes Me sooooo Mad
I’ve been unhappy since I can remember. Sometimes I forget, that I’m unhappy in certain situations, but it never lasts longs and I quickly get back to my normal state of depression. It’s really hard for me to find thinks that I find enjoyable enough to make an effort to experience them.
I have always wondered what was wrong with me. I studied some psychology and read a lot of self-help books. I made some progress, but I never understood why, despite my seemingly great live, I felt so worthless. Yesterday I stumbled upon the TED talks by Brene Brown and I finally realized what my […]
I want a painless way to die. I don’t want comments telling me to rethink and that everything will be fine. Just give me a few painless ways to die please.
So some studies are suggesting that trans fats can make you dumber. I’ve got to add those to my “diet” so that I can be stupid and happy like so many other people. Nobody wants to be intelligent.