The guy I thought I loved, well I didn’t love him. That guy I considered my best friend, he wasn’t ever truly my best friend. The relationship I thought I had the one that felt like magic, I didn’t have one it was all an illusion. I had hope, faith, I still fucken believed like some idiot. I still had feelings for him, now that part of me, that hope, those dreams and beliefs are all dead and gone. He cheated on me with her who knows for how long and they are dating. All I can do is laugh because he couldn’t let me […]
I need to talk or something.
Its days like this I feel almost human, almost visible, almost a part of life. Days like this, although its too early & I’m on a crowded bus, I don’t want to die. I want to live & enjoy life. But I have to remind myself that this is only a fleeting glance. I am cursed, in pain, unlovable, poor & soon to be homeless. & that is not gonna change.
I have student loans. A personal loan. Attorneys fees for a divorce I’m going through. I have NO JOB. No income. I’ve applied to every job available here including fast food jobs and nobody will hire me. I’ve suffered from depression and bipolar disorder. I have no idea what I’m doing anymore. I’m lost. I have no hope. I can’t even see myself making it to next month because I can’t afford to pay anything. I don’t want to die, but I feel like it’s my only option. I’m just so sad and depressed and scared about my finances. I wish I could just go […]
Been suffering from asebergers, PTSD, BPD, severe social anxiety and extreme guilt for ages….. my gulit, combined wiith asebergers just made it so i’m broken socially, which furthers the degree of my BPD and loneliness pretty much by the day. my BPD overlaps with asebergers and i just lose it over little things… and everybody thinks i’m insane. i can’t even go outside and walk around because i’m afraid of what people will think. even my own family thinks i’m crazy!!! my mom has locked me up so many times over the littlest shit… and the funny thing is that pretty much everybody agrees that […]
“I Don’t Eat Chocolate”
Can I roll over
Can I buy you a skateboard
Do you want to be a raver
A dying planet, can I die and fly
With the galaxy, too
Even though I’m so ugly
Can you still be my friend
You don’t have to hold my hand
Do you have a nice place
What about the air, does it smell
I use my own plates and utensils
Like a half-stage Ebola
Can you be the Balboa
.
D_Binary
Damn, the high-end sound
And a deepest under
Severely developed
To my comrades, I lost it all
I am the Elephant-Whale
Defected nature has failed
Is it a game, it will continue
Flora and Fauna, run away
But so that I can come back
Can you fathom for me please
I am the backward and you the Sacred Clown
What can be done for the binary
Only with you does my story begin
Aquarius, the victim, what can
Rotting celebacy to replenish
Where are you, magic enchantress
Take me to […]
Anyone else?
Like that many gods are currently walking the earth, with special powers bringing about miraculous change in the world.
You dear reader, may be one for all I know.
My life on this planet so far has sucked in a big way and I frequently want out, but I have committed myself instead to trying to create a new world from the ashes of the old.
I have seen many visions and dreamed many dreams. My ‘crazy’ reality is way realer than what this mundane existence would indicate.
I’m here because I want out of all of this shit every bit as much as any of you. But […]
I feel nothing anymore. I just want my old life back i want to kill myself now and I want everyone to know that I hate my life I want her to know that I’m fucking done with her bullshit I want her to know I’m a fucking idiot I hate the fact that she makes me look bad that she kisses another guy and thinks it’s ok that fact that you doesn’t really love me the fact that I’m nothing to her that she likes guys looking at her that she doesn’t tell me shit I fucking hate my life why can’t I fucking […]
“With This Knife”
I let myself fall into a lie
I let my walls come down
I let myself smile and feel alive
I let my walls come down
No matter how i try i don’t know why
You push so far away
You wrapped your hands tight around my heart
And squeezed it full of pain
With this knife i’ll cut out the part of me
The part that cares for you
With this knife i’ll cut out the heart of me
The heart that cares for you
I can’t believe the way you took me down
I never saw the pain
Coming in a million […]
Love to me is the look in my families eyes, my Mothers regrets and pain stab me through my Iris and cut through my heart when I glimpse into her aura. Bipolar has take over the family since the beginning, and my family still wonder why they are all so confused yet so content. I cannot lie to another, it burns my soul if I have to deceive another.
Every day is a reminder of my childhood, sitting against the cold damp step, hugging the bricks hoping to generate bodily heat. Alone and cold. This was my earlier realisation coming into action. “I am alone in […]
” We little knew the day that
God was going to call your name.
In life we loved you dearly,
In death we do the same.
It broke our hearts to lose you
But you didn’t go alone.
For part of us went with you
The day God called you home.
You left us peaceful memories.
Your love is still our guide,
And though we cannot see you
You are always at our side.
Our family chain is broken
and nothing seems the same,
but as God calls us one by one
the chain will link again. “
I feel so inferior next to you sometimes. I tell you I enjoy doing something, but I never dared to do it in front or when you’re around me because I’m scared.
I feel so small, so tiny and so insignificant. I feel so worthless; only wasting up space on this planet Earth. I’m so sorry. I’m so stupid. So silly. I can’t do anything right.
My original intention was to comment on someones post – suicide is not selfish. It is only viewed as selfish by those who are angry because you are nolonger there to be used & abused. That is how it will be for me.
In 1 week I will be homeless. I really feel like I should give up right now. Everything has fallen apart, but replacements are falling into place. My ‘best friend’ whom I live with has replaced me with one of her friends & her 2 little kids. I have lost my sister to the clutches of my mother, so I am no longer […]
Yeah well I’m gonna be the first and I’m going to alienate some people here, but we, in Australia, just lost a visionary in Gough Whitlam. Wow, what a mark he left on our land and our consciousness. He was a visionary and a reformist. To some he made have tried to do too much but what a legacy he left in just a short time. Not many people get to do what he did and I personally want to bring his achievements to this site. Please explore this great man in Australian politics. Few get the chance to make their mark…he did. Vale Gough […]
Today I found out for sure that my girlfriend was cheating on me.
I have battled depression in the past, sadly each time it seems to centre around a female. I am now 23, 24 in a bit more than a week. I guess I will start.. at the start…
I was only 14 or 15 at the time. This beautiful girl at my school had started talking to me, I had a crush on her long before but I was never really the one to say anything. I was Year 10 and she was Year 8. I was pretty young but this girl had taken me […]
This is for You
Because you should know you matter to me, even if it doesn’t matter to you.
What might be missing, and that’s likely a lot, is not a reflection on You, and is just the lack of my skills to put thoughts into words.
After all how could I ever be able to adequately explain how much you mean to me
I see you.
You’re hiding in plain sight, because you think no one will or can see you. How you shrug when someone moves to close. You sob under your breath, thinking no one will bother to notice. The dried up lines, […]
I’m not posting this as an encouragement or a deterrent, nor is it meant to prove or disprove evidence of a life beyond death. I simply found it to be very interesting within the context of things I am familiar with.
– peace
Have you ever wanted someone to give you everything. You spent forever obssesing over it getting emotionally drained over what you need and not focusing on what you are given. I realized a little too soon… too late that even if he gave me what I wanted I still wouldn’t know what to do with it. Thats just logic. A WOMAN WHO ACTS LIKE A CHILD WITH MEN LOOKING FOR COMFORT AND REGECTION. LOVE ME LOVE ME I told him when I don’t even love myself. So I left him before he could leave me so I could fix myself and become worthy but all I […]
Hey guys, I feel like I haven’t been on here in ages. I just spent my whole weekend founding an organization and building a website and social media pages for it. A lot of you know how difficult my life has been since my husband passed away last November. And it’s not been for lack of trying or anything, just lack of money and a support network.
Well, that being said, I founded the Young Widow Fund. There are oodles of younger women and men who have lost their spouses and have been left to just flounder due to circumstances that are out of their control. […]