Nothing works. medication after medication each one with worse side effects, more medication to deal with those side effects, I’m getting more and more sick and the doctors do fuck all. I’m so pissed off with everything I can’t even put it into words. I’ve got worse and worse, I’m less independent and worse off than I was at 16. Ten years of shite. I stopped taking all meds last night, I give up, I won’t do this anymore. I want to feel alive one last time before I end it all. But before I go, there will be retribution. Those who wronged me are […]
Just by happenstance, I stumbled upon this site 10 minutes ago. I saw a quote elsewhere, searched it, and google took me to a post from December of last year. And I sort of had to join.
I don’t know how much I’ll post, I don’t know how much I’ll even come back to this site. But here, right now, this feels like something I need.
I’m in a new city. I have an internship, but it’s unpaid. I don’t know anyone. And my best friend, my single confidant, the only person who I can share these feelings with, moved across the country and is indisposed for […]
I wonder if anyone’s ever met their husband or wife on a site like this. It’s kind of funny to think about. I don’t want to be one of those posts that tell you my whole story that ultimately leads up to why I’m depressed, suicidal, whatever. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. What do you guys like to do? What kind of stuff makes you happy, and why? What stresses you? I like to listen to music and talk about politics. Dogs and camping make me happy. Church makes me really uncomfortable. I quit public school because it made me have a mental […]
Might just grab anything I can carry on my back and disappear in the night. Going missing would be easier for my family to handle than suicide
Dear Maman,
As it has now been a number of weeks since our previous discussion, and you have not only failed to apologise to me for badmouthing me to your family behind my back, but have no doubt also failed to correct any of the half-truths and exaggerations you made in the process*.
In addition to this, you appear to struggle to consider the needs of others. For example, despite my pleading, refusing to attend my suicide-prevention counselling sessions because you felt stressed.
When I took the decision to meet you again a couple years ago after a long and acrimonious separation, I really wanted to believe you […]
this house is just terrible, and there’s screaming and tension and she’s leaving cause i’m worthless
but anyway for the FIRST TIME
i don’t care. and i think i believe in a future without this
we’ll see.
since I fell in love with my soul mate. but of course I fuck up everything I ever have going for me… I did that three fucking months ago and it feels like it never even happened. I hate myself so much
I have no one in my life and im all alone.
Tonight, what can happen
Is the third’s one a charm
The dark Ouroboros amulet
One more hour until more
Please take me out, please
My cage thirteen
Take me through the Death Valley
One day through the City of Sin
Cosmic-purity forever chained
In white robe I walk, can you flow and follow
I hope that we can be brothers and sisters
The escape of a ghost
Underneath, the crunching tectonics
Twenty-four-seven, one in seven billion
My name is Celibacy, je suis putain, Albataar
But I know it’s just me but then what now
I seek the luminous, the nature, the glow
I will never touch, forever to […]
Thank you thank you thank you for protecting my butt and my privacy! I appreciate it and send my love to you and all the other members on this website!
Yours truly,
Sunflower <3
For years and years, since I was a little kid, I’ve been dying as a person, and at the age of 29 have only recently realized it. Call it depression if you want, but I don’t know of any other depressed people that have failed at life this hard. I can more precisely describe my condition as mistaken birth. Some cosmic mistake resulted in my birth, and somewhere deep down I’ve always known life was never meant for me.
My self esteem and ego have always been so non-existent that I’ve never felt like a member of the human race. I’ve always blended into the background, never acted the same way […]
Cant stand society and most human beings. Must be in nature with A Lot of space or I will probably kill myself very soon. I dont need TV, or Music , or Computers, cars, Any of that, I just need the beauty and peace of nature, food (grown, hunting or fishing) and water. I can build my own shelter. I wonder if anyone feels similar…..
So, if you’ve been following me at all…I’m out of the hospital and living alone in my apartment. People are still in denial that anything ever happened. Tonight is the first night that i’m not under watchful eye. So guess what I decided to do? I decided to go out and about and enjoy the cool night air. I drove to my campus and parked as normal. As I was backing out of my parking space after I had enough night air and a people dart out behind me. I hit my brakes and another car comes flying past me, so I shove it in […]
All of my problems are emotional/mental. I want to be dead so badly. But I can’t because I’m afraid that some dumbass doctor will “save”/torture me by making me a quadriplegic or a vegetable or something.
I’m so fucking desperate to die. It PHYSICALLY hurts. It’s ALL I think about. But several million years of evolution and my fear of messing up is keeping me here, screaming at my rational and moral brain to not kill myself. Base instincts and fear…
Hi to whoever is reading this. I don’t know where to begin. I’ve never done anything like this before. I’m embarrassed. I’m ashamed. Going into college, being an 18 year old girl felt amazing. I pictured myself partying, having so many friends and so much fun. I tried to play myself off as that person for the first month. And it didn’t occur to me that I was draining myself slowly. Finally, at the beginning of last month, I realized that these “friends” I had made were interested in who I pretended to be. I couldn’t fight it anymore. I wouldn’t fit in if I […]
…speak the same language.
But hola there.
And as a shy n’ paranoid beign i am i will hide some of the reasons that brought me here (if u don’t mind)
Today is a rainy day but there is no difference to me ’cause i always bring this grey cloud over me. In fact ,i choosed this nickname because the word ‘luck’ wasn’t a very sudden thing in my life. Not only this, but 8 more to come, one worse than the other.
Dunno anything, i just want to die an maybe get some ice cream : )
My mother is never really careful with how she says things. She’s always frank without boundaries and she never understands what’s wrong with that. She has so many hurtful words she already told me that I cannot even remember the worst of them. She has called me names, judged my whole life and according to her, I will never be anything in life.
When she’s mad, she’s mad. She doesn’t care whatever she does or say that will affect anyone. Maybe this is the reason why I’m so sensitive, because those things I never thought I would hear from anyone would come from her. She would […]
When it comes to “intellectual conversations” I tend to be able to participate pretty well, at least if I have an opinion on the matter. Or conversations with a specific subject, like politics, economy, morality, science, technology, computer or whatever. No problem. But as soon as it comes to small talk or talking with each just out of fun or to kill time I suck as hell most of the time. I mean when I’m with my two friends I don’t think about it at all and we don’t even care about what anyone says but it’s still fun for all three of us. But […]
I’m the beast of hell
I can’t wait until I’m reborn
Just so that I can die
Walk of life, spirit of death
Let me be reborn, the world already
Dead
Alpha Sebastian, you do not exist
What next.
This is it, my limits have been overrun by such bad feelings and thoughts.
I have never felt this bad in my whole entire life, this is consuming me and i don’t know what to do with myself anymore. Everyone i have turned to for help, has just ignored the fact i’m very suicidal or minimalised how i feel. They don’t take me serious, they underestimate how bad i feel and how suicidal i am and how badly i want to die. Even my therapist ignored the fact i’m suicidal, even though i told her everything.
Nobody wants to help me. I see that now.
My […]