Getting out of bed is the hardest thing to do. It would be so much easier if I just didn’t wake up. I feel extremely alone and nothing anybody says helps. Sometimes I stop what I’m doing and I just stare at the wall and I feel completely numb. I feel like I’m not really here. When I tell people I suffer from depression, anxiety, and bi-polar disorder they just stare at me. Many tell me to simply “get over it”. I can’t explain how mad that makes me. People nowadays are not informed at all and they think that it’s easy to just “get […]
In my teens, I was diagnosed with bipolar paranoid schizophrenia. I’m currently 26, without insurance, and no way to afford therapy or medication.
I’ve attempted suicide twice before, first by ingesting a large number of different pills (blood thinners, sleeping pills, basically everything in the cabinet) and the second by ingesting rat poison. I continue to practice self-harm, mostly by tearing at my arms with my nails, or beating myself in the head, for the sake of not hurting someone else because the fact is I want to. I’m angry at everyone all the time, and it has only gotten worse in recent months since my […]
He said that he doesn’t trust me to have our baby and maybe he’s right. He think I will let something bad happen to her.
I’ve considered all of the options. All I wanted was for us to be a family. But he said I’m not good enough to have his baby or to be his family. I feel cold and numb. I have no one. He was the only person who ever loved me. I can’t live without my daughter. I can’t have an abortion. I will never be OK with that. I can’t let her live without me. She’ll think it was her fault. […]
Well my name is Christopher, I’ve been dealing with depression roughly around 10 years and im a 25 year old. Let me say my journey has not been glamorous. I constantly have suicidal thoughts and have self inflict harm to myself. i do not only deal with depression. I deal with Anxiety, Depression, Agoraphobia, PTSD, and im impulsive. So I sometimes act without thinking clearly. I have my own psychiatric and therapist but im not sure if they help to much and I take prescription medicine aswell not much help either. Im not quite sure why I register to this project. I guess to find […]
Are there any other Australians, or Queenslander’s on this site that would like to talk…
I’m in constant pain and thoughts are going in a bad direction.
I’m 19 years old and I thought that I could change. My entire life has seemed to be nothing but struggle. For years I waited for God to save me and my family, but he didn’t. I’ve seen many things and done many things I wish I didn’t have to. I’ve stopped my mom from drowning herself in the bathtub, I stopped my dad from hitting my mom when they got into a heated discussion; on numerous occasions I’ve stopped my dad from hitting my brother and my mom from choking him because he wouldn’t be quiet. I’ve watched my dad beg for food and […]
Everything disgusts me. I try to be like everybody else but I’m not. I constantly feel disconnected and lonely and sad, if I hear about abuse in third OR first world countries I feel sick inside out. Racism, Homophobia, inequality of wealth, torture, rape, misogyny, death, illness, makes me shudder inside out. The fact we are brought into a boring world where nothing is fun and we get old and deteriorate, and bullied for always being ugly and never good enough DESTROYS me.
I never got over that I was raped and sexually assaulted more than once by different people, or this abortion I had where […]
If I could obliterate one word from the human vocabulary it would be “love”. That word is merely an excuse, a pretentious claim, a self-serving tool for impotent people to compensate for their lack of emotional sincerity. What’s the matter, don’t know how to show it? Gosh ok, then just say it. A hundred times every day. Like a jingle for a brand of dish soap.
“O, they love least that let men know their love.”
Shakespeare, Two Gentlemen of Verona. Act I Sc ii.
These aren’t just the sorrowed stories of failure and loss..
These are cries of the war we live! The fight to be more! The battle for what’s right! These are the violent screams we leave behind for tomorrow! With words sharper than razors, to cut deep into our wasted faith, bleeding out from who we once were, to scab over the person we so desperately desire to be!
We breath, we bleed, we sing… we sing till there is no song to be sung!
I can be happy, I can be content – but behind it all is an absence of any belief that anything is of any value, or worth, materially, spiritually, emotionally, intellectually. All empty.
Then the light fades, that’s enough, time to go.
Then comes anger, a real anger, self directed, and at the rest of humanity. The call to ‘be nice to people’ to make me feel better, to ‘do something’ to make me feel better. Acting on such advice is nothing more than me, me, me – so it’s all just self serving? So its in the self interest of those who preach to say those things? […]
I love it…
I love feeling the sharp pain as the razor slides across my skin and flesh,creating an opening…
I love the euphoric feelings that comes with every new cut…
I love feeling in control of myself…
I love mutilating myself,through cutting or any other way…
Basically,I only live to harm myself.Smoke as much as I can and hope I get lung cancer.Cut as long and deep as I can until I go to the ER to get fixed.Drink as much as I can,until I collapse into an alcoholic blackout and wake up 24 hours later…
I have learned to enjoy physical pain…As I said,it’s the only thing I keep […]
Hello readers, I’m just your other ‘regular’ near-suicidal person…
Just like any other people who wants to die, my life isn’t really sunshine and rainbows hahaha…
I’m not so unfortunate to be an orphan, a slave, or handicapped, and I’m not confident to say ‘My life is the worst’ or ‘I’m the most miserable person on earth’…no, nothing like that…
I began my suicide thoughts when i’m at 5th and 6th grade in elementary school. you know, bullying and family problems ^^… in 6th grade i really tried to kill myself by “ Smoke from burning a BBQ in a sealed room” type of suicide. […]
Hi
may I have your yahoo ID I really need to talk with someone
She said..
“Nothing but the best, for the golden boy!”
Nobody knows what, if anything at all, happens in this hypothetical afterlife. However, knowing what I know about the current world or realm I am in, and where things are going here, and knowing that the better part of my life is already behind me, I am looking at it much like this; if there is an afterlife, maybe I can become a ghost and live forever in a younger and happier state, maybe not. Even if there isn’t anything beyond this, well, zero is greater than negative numbers. In essence, no life at all is better than a life of pain and suffering. At […]
I have been living this fucked up life for almost 3 years now. i am a huge failure. in academics. in sports. in love. in almost everything. My parents think that i should never have been born . I put their head down un front of public. They want to make me an Engineer , but i don’t even know what i want to do . i just want to die. its not just about them . i am too fucked up . i am geniunely a big paranoid that everyone hates me for no reason. i am constantly hoping things will get better but […]
It’s oddly werid really,
how the sorrow comes back after every laugh,
The slight stinging sensation,
Prickling my numbing hurt.
I loved her, I really do,
She was my all , my everything , the love of my life,
and everything that I could ask for,
I promised to protect her forever , and yet it was me who made that promise a never.
I hurt her, I caused her worry, I made her grieve,
All because of my twisted thoughts, my twisted ways and twisted being.
I ruined her, her present ,her future,
And there’s nothing I can do apart from saying a miserable ” I’m sorry” that can never help with anything.
She smiles, she […]
My material possessions are starting to consume my life
There is just too much shit I don’t need and I’m paying too much for living expenses when I could be saving tons of money. This isn’t survival, and it’s not working. I have some debt too.
Gonna start selling off and throwing away pretty much half of everything. Ill have to give up my fish tank I guess 🙁 I really wanted to keep them for the next 10 years or so but I need to be light on my feet and go where the wind takes me. I need to get the hell away […]
I want to die right now. I had some sort of a plan, but now I’m extremely close to just trying the first method that comes to mind instead, and forgetting everything about what I originally planned. I don’t know how to cope with everything anymore, so I’m close to trying to leave this world without taking care of the things I need to first. No matter where I am or what I do, these thoughts are with me more or less constantly, and I don’t know what to do in order to be able to hang on anymore. Needless to say, I shouldn’t do […]
For me, the expression “you are your own worst enemy” holds a lot of truth. It’s a painful reality that much of what limits me in my life is my own feelings of unworthiness and self-hatred.
But where do these feelings come from? How do they influence us? And how can we push past them to live a life free of the harsh attitudes of our inner critic? I will never know.