I have been exhausted and numb for so many years.
It’s the little things that matter most in this world. The smile from a stranger.. Good advise from a friend.. A fond memory of weekends spent laughing and nothing else.. It’s the little things we share together that mean something. And it’s the little things lost that create the greatest void and the harshest confusion.
When you left, you vanished into thin air..and when you did.. You forgot your towel.. It was just sitting there, so I figured you would come back. But then after a short while, I discovered you left your phone on the table. That can’t be right…you sorta forgot to give […]
Sometimes the reason why some things happen is “Because FUCK YOU, THAT’S WHY!!”
I just came back from an interesting night. A random camping night at the beach. Tho after some events the night seemed to be turning into NOT what I expected BUT it became more pleasant and peaceful than what I could imagine.
First it was the company, tho it was people I know, is not the kind of people I got use to do things with this past few years. So didn’t know what to expect. Adding to that was my “fear” of thinking of her again, miss her right there in the middle of nowhere, wishing she was there. Wanting her by my […]
You seemed so full of sweetness at the start
But like a big red rose that’s made of paper
There isn’t any sweetness in your heart
Paper Roses
Paper Roses
I am at work feeling scattered and not quite apathetic just conflicted. part of me doesn’t care and wants to run out and leave and never come back. Part of me wants to stay because the work I do is important and does help people. Part of me hope an airplane crashes into my building and takes me out. Part of me is focused on the pain in my belly. Part of me is focused on my broken heart. Part of me is horny. Part of me never wants to be touched again for as long as I live.
Living is hard.
Today was the first day in several months I woke up NOT feeling severely suicidal. I’ve been trying really hard to break through these feelings of worthlessness and find a way to make a life for myself no matter what the cost. But it’s clear to me now that everyone absolutely fucking despises me and I deserve to be in a box underground. The first thing that happens is I log into facebook and my brother’s wife (one of the only people in my life) logs off IMMEDIATELY when she sees i’m online. Second, I ask a customer service person where to find royal mail boxes […]
Never in my 18 years of this miserable life have I ever wanted to kill myself this much
I set myself limits “if you can make it to then you can make it” but recently I’ve never been this depressed . I just want to end all of this , I’m no good at anything , even my own parents thinks the worst of me so what’s the point anymore
An: This was a poem that I wrote when I was nine, I have no idea why but this poem draws the emotions of me who is present now. I’m becoming a tad mad with my bouts of sudden despair overwhelming me for no apparent reason and it is affecting my work. I have an examination this entire week and yet I keep doing something else and am being apathetic to all the things that used to concern me. It feels as though I’ve awoke to find that I should cease to exist because I am a waste of space and all efforts are just […]
I just wish she could have seen a better side to me.. I wish she could have seen me at my best cuz I don’t think we ever got there. I was always struggling..with money, with addiction, with my own mental confusions.. Always trying to get over some hump that seemed to stem from my troubles. I was always complaining it seemed.. I expected too much. I couldn’t be that cool headed guy I wanted to be.. That she deserved the most.
I just feel like there was something I could have done to keep her around. But I didn’t do it..
The parts of […]
You just stood there screaming
Fearing no one was listening to you
They say the empty can rattles the most
The sound of your voice must soothe you
Hearing only what you want to hear
And knowing only what you’ve heard
You you’re smothered in tragedy
You’re out to save the world
You still stood there screaming
No one caring about these words you tell
My friend before your voice is gone
One man’s fun is another’s hell
These times are sent to try men’s souls
But something’s wrong with all you see
You you’ll take it on all yourself
Remember, misery loves company
AN: Another poem here. Thank you for taking the time to read this. The ironic thing about this poem though is that I don’t drink and yet I’m writing about that.Great if someone reviewed, to all those out there who likes to drink, does this poem connect with anyone of you?
Round and round the roulette goes,
will it stop or will it blow?
Slipping into oblivion,
it’s time to drink like the Russians and let go.
It’s time to drink your worth,
and bet your all in this one barrel,
a single shot,
and you might finally get to rot.
Heave ho and we go,
drinking till the sun goes down,
drinking our fill till […]
I’m two days late. And a year late. It doesn’t matter to you but it does to me and I’m sorry. A lot has happened, but little has changed. I still miss you. A lot. I don’t think about you enough, it makes me too sad when I do. I wish I did though, it’s worth it to keep the thoughts of you fresh. It was nice to see your parents again today, it always is. I hope that they’re doing okay, as impossible as it may seem. I don’t want to say too much this year, I’m already having enough difficulty as it is. […]
An Overall Feeling Of Untapped Anger Ludicrous Expression Of My Burning Nauseous Stomach And Dissociation That Pierces My Soul And The Lust Of The Universe A Sedated Feeling Of Sorrow Contempt And Hatred Low Octave Starvation And Slow Sweet Whispers Of Foreboding.
I’ve lost it. I’ve gone completely insane. I had stuff here, now it’s gone. Maybe it’s for the best. Maybe it never happened. I have a hard time thinking. It’s impossible not to sound like a whiny, punk ***** when I try to explain my situation. I come off as pretentious, hypocritical and mean-spirited. Maybe I am. Sorry for the spam, but I just […]
Lately I’ve been having more of these relapses and hurting myself I want someone and I need some one to just help me with this ive been getting them mpre then usual now I dont know why
Hi guys I’m back my computer broke and I got a new phone so here I am how are you guys and also been busy with the band
Do you ever feel a nagging feeling of emptiness and disappointment? At first it’s small and easily ignored. Then, it grows and becomes a weight on your shoulders until it bogs you down til you cannot move. Do you ever feel so depressed and lost that any relationships or interactions seem like so much work and effort? You don’t even feel connections anymore. You just feel empty…moving through the actions without much thought. It all seems like ceremony anymore.
I feel like this everyday and I don’t know how to escape. I no longer feel love, compassion, sympathy, hate, anger…nothing. All I feel is an odd […]
Still looking for a friend and a place to crash out of Southern California. I have money for small rent and food. We’ll go party if you want, or do whatever. Let’s do this.
and all sp users reply YES
WHY THE FUCK CAN’T YOU BE THERE FOR ME WHEN I NEED YOU? OUT OF ALL THE TIMES I’VE BEEN HURT, OR SCARED, OR SAD, OR BULLIED, WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU. OF COURSE YOU’RE THERE EVERYTHING TIME I MADE A MISTAKE, ALWAYS QUICK TO POINT IT OUT. BUT IN ALL REALITY, HOW ARE YOU A PARENT?