I love you truly do deep down I just try my best not to feel it anymore. I know that we messed up equally that neither of us is solely to blame for this disaster. But I feel like I could have been better, tried harder, supported you more. I didn’t mind hurting myself or loosing myself but loosing you the idea of hurting you it kills me. Because I can accept failure in any other aspect of life just not with you. So to be honest I’m not ok, I’m not happy, I lied about everything that I’ve said. I do want you still, […]
To all my brothers and sisters going through rough times keep your head held high you made it to this point without failing.Hell something brought you to this website so theres got to be a reason youll still breathing. Find hope and learn to live happily i know shit always seems bad but youre strong enough to make it through. just think youve been through a whole lotta of other shit so you might as be able to withstan some more. find faith in yourself and bear through the storm youll be glad you never gave up. 🙂
Idk what he wants from me. He knows how to change my feelings every second. And it’s just pain to always be strong. Always show him I’m better now. It’s like he knows what makes me melt and what hurts me. And then at night. I get pushed to my limit and no one knows. No one ever will know.
Absolute reality, if it exists, doesn’t matter to the individual. What matters is the individual’s perception of reality because that’s all he or she knows. With that in mind, at what point does your subjective reality shift away from absolute (or should I say ‘collective’) reality?
This is what I mean: you might sleep about 6-10 hours a day, and the rest of the time you’re awake and conscious of reality. Well what if, through drugs or other means, you sleep 20 hours a day, leaving only 4 hours of “reality”? Do those 4 hours become insignificant?
I know what you’re thinking… of course not. Because our […]
I have never felt sad about a suicide. By the time I graduated high school, two of my best friends had killed themselves and even at that young age I never felt sad. Confused, yes. But in my heart I knew that suicide marks the end of a problem, and so… much like divorce in the case of an abusive marriage, it’s a good thing even though humans instinctively say “how awful”.
Humans at large cannot perceive the problem, so all they see is the solution which they don’t agree with. If you didn’t know that a woman was being mugged, and all you saw was […]
I often wonder if listening to depressing music is good for me by giving me something to hold on to or just serves to increase my sadness. I remember, even as a teenager, preferring that kind of music to the more upbeat and cheerful tunes, I listened to both but the darker lyrics seem to speak to me much more than any other. I remember a tune that really got to me back then, the lyrics about loneliness and isolation touched me and hearing it twenty five years later, they still do. I’ll continue to listen even if it has, perhaps in a small way, […]
this year i’ve noticed how many girls and boys have been hurt, and affected by peoples thoughts and words. i never really noticed it before, and it never affected me or my friends as well.
but now,
most girls think theyre fat and ugly, even boys too. which i dont get. everyone can be their own kind of beautiful. there should be no definition of beauty. alot of times, i see pictures of anorexic girls and boys online and people saying thats what perfect is.
then i see the same people saying society is fucked up and that creates the def of beauty and this and that and […]
Open them pig jowl’s up for me so I can force feed you the dirtiest and the foulest of truth.
The sickness begins in dreams. They nail you into place and lie and say “You can be anything you want to” and I hate you and I hate myself for believing it.
Truth is, dreams don’t come true and the only time you get your name in the paper is when you die! Obituaries, Gossip Column’s and the Entertainment page is all the same and to see it you just half to read between the […]
On June 15th 2014 my sister decided that there was no other way for her and ended her life.
That very sentence breaks my heart. It rocks me to the core every time i think of her.. No matter how many times i try to remember all the goods things the one thing that will always stick with me is that SHE decided to end it all in the time it takes to pull a trigger.
She had attempted to take her life in November of 2013 and before that we had had a terrible relationship, but at the thought of losing her forever I decided that […]
  They say that you never forget your first love. This is a 1973 Dodge Dart with the slant 6 motor.
Fuck it all.
I tried to make my friends understand what I go through,and the harsh reality hit me:I had no true friends.They were only using me while I was still usable and now that I am going through a hard time,all of them,absolutely all of them,dumped me.
I miss the days when I was together with my ex-girlfriend.We were both struggling with extreme suicidal thoughts and depression,among many other mental illnesses,and we were supporting each-other through this shit.I guess now that she got better she doesn’t give a fuck about me anymore.That’s good…It’s good…It’s all fucking good…Wish you fucking luck with that German guy you are […]
Is it wrong for someone under extreme pain to end it the only way they can? I don’t think so. If my life is hell why shouldn’t I be allowed to end it? If it’s mine I’m going to do what I want with it. It’s not your choice, it’s mine, I don’t care if my choices hurt you. That’s on you, not me.
I stand looking at myself in the mirror and what do I see….?
One bloody mess.
I hate everything I see….
I seem…. so unreal to me
….I’m in utterly disbelief….
Hands bloody…arms bloody… face bloody….
the blade is my best friend and my lover.
We go together like ice and vodka..
I feel I’m in hell… I’m tormented in this shell..
I slice open, watching my flesh strip away…
While my mind goes into a relaxing place….. I feel good now… well almost… let me go a little deeper… almost there!…just a little deeper…now I’ve climax into one unemotional mess… now I hate myself…For […]
My mother has always suffered from severe, chronic (mono-polar) depression, and constant suicidal ideation. My brother and I inherited/learned this, but I am the only one in our family who has become “actively” suicidal. So far I’ve been committed more than a dozen times to various laughing academies for the spiritually bewildered, not to mention 3 comas, and other extended stays in hospital ICU’s due to my addiction to self abbreviation. I was even dead for more than two glorious, velvet black minutes, before they […]
Sick of people telling me there will be monsters and deep dark caverns of doom if I kill myself. That’s a pile of horseshit. Not a single one of you know what happens after death and I don’t give a fuck for any opinions based on nothing but your own twisted imaginations. You think there is nothingness? Good for you. You might be in for a surprise.
Off anti-psychotics, I can see things clearly. Life is a never-ending circle of betrayal, shallow people, and morons complaining about ‘oh today I got a bad grade or he/she doesn’t like me.’ Get over yourself. There are people with […]
So what… Keep trying, uh? The story must begin with a crew. The “bebop” genre description describes it all fully well. I don’t know exactly how it goes…. somewhere along outside the box, but not really. But anyway, as I’ve mentioned, I am here seeking the ‘Pilgrimage’, becoming my tribal name of faith. A tribal, that’s what it’s suppose to be about. Me and my own one in a million, fated. I read elsewhere how like… Wiccan is referred to as a way of life, which then made more sense to me, based, on the living myth.
Oblivious. A suffering fetus. Mother, cow, a celestial mind. […]
Hey guys,
So this is for for any of you who are feeling as if they can’t cope anymore or if you’re feeling alone and you want to make new friends, I’m the guy to see. c: Plus, it’d be a much better email to read than one from FasterLouder, Facebook, Twitch, Twitter, Jay Jays, or Quicksilver. -.-
So the address is: dconnolly96@hotmail.com (What, were you expecting boobielover_69?) You can talk to me about what you’re dealing with and how you’re coping with it, advice on things, just if you need someone to talk to, really.
Can’t wait to hear from y’all. n.n
The worst feeling for me is when my mum sees my cuts and scars and just gives me the most disgusted look and says “just stop that.. its wrong”.
Thanks mum i feel the love
hello. I’m kaelyn. I’m 15. this is the part of my story that isn’t so great but i figured that I need to start somewhere.
my parents were 18 when I was born. they weren’t together. I want born into a freakishly religious family. I am not religious at all.
anyways.
I think that the bad thoughts (hurting myself, wanting to die) began around age 8. my mom had a boyfriend who lived with us and my sister was 4. my mom worked all the time. her boyfriend was very abusive. one of the last things i witnessed him do was hold my mom in the air and […]
I’ve spent the last 48 hours sitting, walking, cooking…Not hungry. I start pacing. Hello panic attacks…Nothing is really helping. Someone shared a suicide story on Facebook. Great, I decided to watch it. I”m completely beside myself. I go to youtube in the hopes of listening to some music that will help and I find more “suicide hope” videos. Yeah…I’m filled with the hope of an end someday. They all seem to outline my issues in a glorified, filtered image.
Another panic attack. My heart is going to give out before I can commit at this point. I’ve started to cross into the realm of being so […]