Spent far too long thinking about it, it must be time soon; I used to believe drowning was the way, I used to live by the sea; there were a couple of navigation buoys out across the bay with flashing red lights on them which were out of sync but would flash in unison occasionally, I spent a long time at night sitting on the pier watching them wishing I had the courage to jump into the cold inviting water and die. I’m not there now, in the city instead, suppose there’s the Thames but somehow it’s not the same, there’d be a crowd watching […]

The neon stars, and planet.
We are so small, yet, the master work of this epic universe.
When we are content, we are happy to die.
What about those that …
I only know of me of my kind. My cerebro morlock race.
Don’t forsaken nobody, the sound of the ukulele.

Acidic. Acidic. I am the dark Molorck.
In my robe darkness, a bolero dying entity.
The skeleton and the dying tree. My chain.
In the world of cain. Holistic to the death.
What the fuck are you doing. Man.
In this reality, you can’t go back in time.

One more time, to infinity to the end.

I’ve felt this way for all of my life up until now. I don’t necessarily think this is bad; I realize it’s simply my nature to feel this way, and no matter what I do, I am always going to feel somewhat excluded. Nevertheless, this feeling is also something that can backfire if it goes completely unchecked and is combined with outer and/or inner negativity.

And that is exactly what has happened to me.

I’ve wasted my life on nothing. I pretty much have nothing and am nothing nowadays. I’ve de-evolved greatly; there really is nothing now that positively defines me. I just…am; I’m just here, taking […]

I can only hope, while at the same time, giving up. What a contradictory statement.

Now I lay me down to sleep

I pray my life and soul you keep,

please take it now so I don’t wake

to live a day of pain and hate.

My future life is just to bleak so please, I beg you, let me sleep.

My end will mean I will not cry, my end will mean I do not weep. My pain and fear will only cease. If you will only let me sleep.

I pray to any God that answers me and brings me finaly rest and peace.

Please.

The voice in my head now has a body. A very familiar body.

Red against white, who will win?
Silver metal, my deadly sin, some days I don’t wanna win.
Feeling high, feeling numb, lost again in this-
Eternal bliss.

But the scars that cover my wrist are so damn hard to over come.
Hearing the words they say, seeing the looks they give
Telling myself I’m not good enough.
I’m worthless, that I’m not allowed to breath-
Don’t say I’m not, don’t tell me I’ll be fine.
I don’t wanna see the light, at least not for tonight.

I wanna be dreaming of a lost happiness
Of someone loving this crazy broken person
Of not being shattered

My father committed suicide when I was 5 years old leaving me, my 9 year old sister and mum devastated. I believe that he thought we would be better off without him and he was doing us a favour. I’m 17 years old now and I still break down and cry for the father I never had. Suicide is selfish, if a person has children on this Earth it is their responsibility to protect, guide and support them. Not having a father has affected me in countless way. My father wasn’t there to teach me how to ride a bike, to pick me up when […]

it feels weird being back on this website, but Im back to the place where i need it.
i guess a little update on my life then, although Im pretty sure nobody cares.
lately, like in the past month or so, Ive been more depressed than i ever have been in my whole entire life. even though Im living at my dads now, which is everything i wanted, it still didnt fix anything. i pushed away all my friends and family and i just sit in my room all day watching YouTube videos. I cant even think about the future anymore, even though everyone […]

On the 4th of December this year I will eliminate myself. My Father also died that day (how fitting) never knew him though. I’ve given myself 6 months to prepare. Not to contemplate it but get my shit in order. Need to save some money, so that I can go to whatever location of my choice. Will possibly spent my last hours on this Earth somewhere near the ocean or the forest. Somewhere I’ll finally be at peace. Have thought about suicide for 6 years now. Failed 3 times. But I shall not this time. People think suicide is such an irrational and crazy thing […]

One day I woke up, and things just weren’t quite right.

I hid from the windows and their bright shining light.

In darkness I sat there, refusing to bite,

On the food set before me, a former delight.

All senses seemed muted, though they left with a fight.

My thoughts they weighed heavy, on my mind into night.

Nightmares and dreams snares, woke me with a fright.

Went searching for meaning, but was nowhere in sight.

Nothing is sacred, this just can’t be life.

Use the ledge at the ball park, one day I […]

I never knew about this website, but I’m glad that I came across it. The thoughts in my head have been getting worse and worse, but I keep trying to push through. Sometimes, it’s just easier to think “what would it be like if I were dead?” It all stared when I was just 11 years old. Here I am, 21 years old, and still fighting. When I was 11, life literally SUCKED. I attended a private school, and it’s true, the kids who go to school there are complete and total BITCHES. Just in 6th grade, I was bullied non stop. I was told […]

I dunno how to even begin this.. Im emmett, 16 and live in northern ireland. Im depreased every god damn day, i want to die, i have tried ending it 7times, i dont see my future at all, i dont see myself here in 2-3years time, i feel worthless, i am worthless, im only happy when am alone and crying, ive been bullied before but thats not the main issue why i wanna die, i wanna die to show myself that i can be happy,  sad isnt it? Saying the only way someone will be happy is when their dead, i havent told my family, […]

What options for death really are there for profound disabled like myself?  I can’t get a gun, can’t get in a car and go somewhere, and hanging never fails to fail.  The only thing I was suggested by “professionals” was, if you want to die, you can, you just have to stop eating and drinking completely.  Number one, what an inhumane way to go!  I cannot imagine depriving myself of water until I am dead.  That is barbaric.  Number two, most of us disabled are in the care of family members who would force feed us.  So this is clearly not an option.  Also most […]

my best friend sent me this last night….

Wrists that are o so pearly and white,

they urk me with temptations to end this life.

Blades of silver and wrists of white,

bring me no pain as i return home tonight.

Quick to pass judgement and quick to fight,

one more cut should do just fine……

One line for the hurtfull things you said,

never again will i hear them in my head…….

Two lines for the times you brought me pain,

one more cut and ill end this game…….

Three lines and I start to go blind,

as blood red crimsen starts to rush out of my lines,

I have two last words before I die i […]

Why can’t god just take my life already? Iv been through hell my whole life a and once I kill myself I’m gonna go to hell for one of the biggest sins someone can do. I just hope god has Mercy on me when I  kill myself. I have a pistol with no safety on it and I always have one in the chamber I always point my gun to my head and play with the trigger hoping I accidently pull the trigger all the way and die 🙂 isn’t it sad that the only thing that puts a real smile on my face is […]

suicide isnt a joke nor is it a game.thats really fucked up when u make fun of people who cut and shit.ISNT NOT A JOKE OR A GAME stop being fvcking retards and make fun of people who r suicidual or were suicidual….. its not fun i know because now ppl at school ask me whats that on your arm and i say scars and they ask for what and i dont tell them because im afraid of getting bullied!so i know how it feels to get rumors spread about me nd shit because i have been at this school for about 5 months and […]

Hi.. I’m a 24 year old female living in Canada & I’m starting to get scared that I will do something drastic and irreversible. I have gone through periods of depression on and off since I can remember. At first it wasn’t bad.. just low periods that last a few hours. Now it lasts weeks and the good periods in between (in which I am uncharacteristically social and productive) are getting shorter.

A bit of background on me is that I grew up in a very diverse, mixed-up family. I have 5 siblings and all are half-siblings. I am the oldest. I’ve had to choose between […]

Just wrote 3 suicide notes basically saying goodbye to certain people that I know love and care about me forreal. I begged them all in my notes to not cry for me but smile because I’m not suffering anymore. I wish everyone that knows me would just do that for me I mean I’m gonna kill myself because I truly feel like that’s what I have to do to get past this misery it’s never gonna get better I was having chronic depression since I was 8 everyday literally every day till now I’m 22 everyday wish to god to just take my life I […]

I’m not “high risk”, I’m just tired.