My body is on repeat. Happy. Sad. Anxious. Happy. Angry. Sad. Never ending cycle. I can see myself going through it all the time and try and try as I do, I can never break through. I want to scream until I cough up blood and pull on my hair until it all falls out. I don’t know what to do. My head hurts all the time. I destroy my life, get it back, and then destroy it again. And I Don’t know why. I just can’t seem to help it. I’m so tired. I’m tried of this. I’m tried of momentary happiness and ever lasting sadness. I’m tired of bringing down everyone who is around me. I don’t want to hurt anyone else. I just want to go to sleep forever and pray that the afterlife, if there is one, is much better than this. Being bi-polar is the worst punishment I have ever received in my life and i don’t know why I was cursed to have it.
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
1 comment
Hey SleepWalking. Being Bipolar must be very very hard, but it is in no way a punishment. I do not know if you are religious, but I am. If it means anything to you, everyone carries with a cross. You may be bipolar. My best friend is intelligent and attractive, but had a bad reaction to a hormone pill and has become sexually impotent, for years now. Perhaps for life. My stepfather is charismatic and self-centered, but had a throat operation that damaged one of his vocal cords and has left him handicapped to work as a shrink. I am sure you shine in a way no one else does, despite these hardships. And shine like a torch in an ocean of darkness.
So think about it. I am always here, just like the people on this site.