It’s not the first time
My family has caused these thoughts
The thoughts of jumping
They wouldn’t care
They don’t care
They never did
They never will
They’ll never love
They’ll never care
Regardless of what people say
My family doesn’t love me
They glare at me
Wish I was better
I’m not good enough for them
I have the wrong taste in music
Disgusting fashion style
The way I think is awful
All they ever wanted was a perfect daughter
They got my sister
But then the mistake came
Me
And now they can’t live with me
So they hurt me
Glare at me

I am so pissed!!!!! My sister and I had an argument and she decided to slap me across the face. I want to just slap he and crush her head in. But if I do that then I’m the one in trouble and I cant do anything about it. I’m suffocating in this house and the only final escape is death.

Why am i here? Why am I alive? I feel as if i’m alone. An if that’s the case the I WANT TO KILL MYSELF RIGHT NOW !!!

The person I want to be is the one that has a great life because he has actual friends and a family that loves and supports him in his decision. But I know for a fact I have none of that. An i’ll tell you why.

I am not a social person. Iv’e spent my whole time after school at home not with friends. When I try to make friends I end up either trying too hard or just […]

Hello. I don’t know what to do anymore. I want to die, but there always is something that stops me. I’m useless, worthless, good for nothing, stupid, ugly and fat, fat, FAT. People are really harsh on me. They even told me to go die. At the very moment i have already cut about 20 times. My parrents know about my cutting addiction, but they don’t give a fuck. I want to torture myself untill I die,but that isno longer enough for me. If anyone knows any good ways to leave this world or help me overcome this shit, please. I beg you! Help!

I don’t even know why I’m typing this to be honest, right now I feel reckless and restless and bored and tired.

I’m fed up of being poor and being tired and feeling like I’m being judged for every little thing I say and do.

I’m tired of being ugly. I hate how my face looks, with it’s stupid round jaw and lumpy nose and disgusting frizzy short hair, I hate how I look fat in every photo, I hate how I am fat, acres and acres of disgusting wobbly blotchy skin wobbling away, taking up too much space.

I hate how much I wish I could stop […]

I’m weak. I’m so very very weak and scared and just… useless.

I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m too mch of a coward for anything and I’m just stuck unable to move either forward or back.

My self esteem right now is at a point where I can’t see any road that wouldn’t lead to failure. I can’t do anything, I have no more strength to persevere. I’ve tried and tried and tried and all I am is a failure and I can’t pretend I’m strong and can’t force myself to be optimistic anymore.

I’ve always run away from anything hard by burying myself in books […]

Is love possible between two people who suffer from depression and have had a suicidal past? Can those two people function normally and healthily in a relationship? I wonder.

I think I subconsciously seek out guys who fit into this insane mold that I have constructed unknowingly my entire adult life. I think I look for people who are as insane as I am before I continue further on in a relationship. Is that in and of itself insane? Maybe it’s because I feel that is the only way I’ll be accepted? Because I can’t fathom anyone loving me the way I am. It’s pathetic to […]

Does anyone happen to know of a forum or chat site where we can discuss methods openly? I’m trying to figure out a way that’ll be relatively  painless and not cause much of a mess. I’d like very much to go out in the comfort of my own home but without ruining the upholstery, and if it looks accidental then so much the better 🙂

I might try the hotline again.

Or now. I don’t know.

I really have the urge to overdose even if it isn’t going to work. Maybe I can duct tape my mouth shut so I choke on my vomit.

Yummy.

Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it “Chops”
because that was the name of his dog

And that’s what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and a gold star
And his mother hung it on the kitchen door
and read it to his aunts
That was the year Father Tracy
took all the kids to the zoo

And he let them sing on the bus
And his little sister was born
with tiny toenails and no hair
And his mother and father kissed a lot
And the girl around the corner […]

Mencius (a student of Confucius):

“Living is what I want; meaning is also what I want. If I cannot have both, I would rather take meaning than living. On the one hand, though life is what I want, there is something I want more than life.

That is why I do not cling to life at all cost.

On the other hand, though death is what I loathe, there is something I loathe more than death.   Yet there are ways of remaining alive and ways of avoiding death to which a person will not resort.

In other words, there are things a person wants more than life and […]

I know your heart is hurting

You think the road has end

You may just feel that blade your holding

Is your only friend

But baby don’t cut

Baby don’t cut

You can do anything

Just promise baby you won’t cut

Can’t you see I’m lying

Can’t you see I’m crying

Can’t you see I’m dying

Ask me if I’m okay

I’ll say I’m fine

But when I fall

You’ll see

I was lying

Crying

And Dying

Alone with her thoughts

Alone in her room

Little did she know

Her story would end soon

No more sadness

No more pain

No more purging

To stop the gain

She sees her body

She hates each mark

Can’t stand the sight

So she lays in the dark

She cries in the night

And finds her blade

She thinks of every

Mistake she’s made

She begins to think

She’s better off dead

The thought of being

Rushes through her head

She grabbed some pills

And a small red cup

She wanted to fall asleep

And never wake up

Empty the bottle

Down each pill

Soon she will be

Forever still

She was sad to go

But it was for the best

She got what she wanted

Eternal rest

You’ve been hurt before

I can see it in your eyes

You try to smile it away

Some things you can’t disguise

You ask me if I’m okay, I say I’m fine.

I Lied

“Do you want a hug?””No”, I replied.

I lied

“Something wrong?””No”, I said.

I lied

The only time I tell the truth is when I’m broken down, and crying.You say It’ll be all right

You lied.

I hate my arms. I’m covered in scars. I smile and pretend I’m totally fine, I laugh and I joke. Among my friends I’m the one who cheers them up, gives the best advice, makes them laugh. Do they genuinely feel close to me? I don’t feel close to them. I don’t really feel close to anyone. I can’t let people in.

I was doing a good job of it recently, I was opening up. Light was shining a little in my life. Just a teeny bit. I pined for years. I pined and I pined and I pined. Finally last year I realized my pining […]

Pain, fear, hardship and all those crappy things are the greatest motivators known to any living organism. If you think back to the first prehistoric mass of slime that crawled out of the ocean onto dry land to evolve into what you see when you look into a mirror, you can bet the slime’s motivation wasn’t any lofty idealism or optimistic dreams of the future but rather, its motivation was because it was hunted or starving to death and had to go somewhere new.

That’s all fine & dandy. But even the prehistoric slime must’ve eventually reached some comfort zone, or at least some stage of […]

Me? Yeah i’m fine. If you consider a feeling like this “fine” a pain that is so dreadful crying doesn’t seem sad enough, a pain that makes your whole body shake, one that feels like its ripped half of your insides out, it makes you numb to the world, you feel as though nothing in this world is worth living i never knew a pain could be so unbearable, I mean i can stand most pain, but this…this is just horrible…I feel so alone all the time… I just want to be heard is all, but no one gives me that chance…and sometimes to […]

I tried to overdose last night…well kinda I tripled the dosage your supposed to take of ibuprofen to see if that would rid the pain i constantly feel…it did though and made me feel good.

I was also called a slut by my best friend and L got pissed at me for taking so much ibuprofen he kept telling me i would die if i took that much and i told him i didn’t care he told me i needed help and threatened to tell my mom. He never did though which is good…i don’t enjoy my mom knowing the pain I’m going through. Also my […]