I was born with a loving, caring, and forgiving family. To most people, that’s a blessing. But to me, it only makes it harder for me to make them pleased, or even tolerant of anything. It only makes my life worse. I already hate me, so does everyone else, so my own family were like the only people who I could trust at all, and now they are like people I never even knew. It just sickens me to see what I have done to these great people, and what I can do to all those with a pure heart, unlike mine.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ayVuQLT00v0

I thought someone should know, in case I don’t wake up or something because I know that is a possibility. Fuck.

I posted on here a few weeks ago about deciding to finally end it all and take my own life. I finished writing my letters last night and I feel like a completely different person! I feel lighter and happy, borderline giddy, like some silly little school girl who has a crush on the popular boy. I’m going tomorrow to buy my helium tanks, as well as the rest of the supplies I am going to need. I’ve decided to use two 14.9 cubic feet tanks from the party store and join them with a t-junction. I’m not using a flow regulator because I don’t […]

no matter what I do…I’ll never be good enough 🙁

Of any of it? We go to school for the first 1/4 of our lives, study and spend thousands of dollars out our asses, only to (generally) end up in some job that doesn’t even relate to our degree – if we even end up getting them!

We work for the majority of what’s left of our lives, assuming we live to the expected age of 80 or so, and then we spend the remainder of our days whiling away our time waiting to die anyway…

why not skip out all the bullshit and go ahead with it? We already know how the ending turns out anyway. […]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lAZN1oVir5A

… the whole our village had problems with electricity . But now I’m here … and connected .. :p

So where were the spiders?
While the fly tried to break our balls.
Just the beer lights to guide us.
So we bitched about his fans and should we crush his sweet hands?

Ziggy played for time,
Jiving us that we were voodoo
The kids were just crass,
He was the Naz
With god given ass.

He took it all to far,
But boy could he play guitar!!

It’s not sadness I feel. I don’t even feel anger, nor do I feel numb. I feel empty. I am devoid of a soul.
The Jews say a soul is what makes us special. It is what separates us from the lifeless tools we use. I feel like God forgot to put my soul in me when he made me, leaving me a tool to be used. I feel like the Golem when he no longer had a purpose.

I don’t often think about myself in the terms of Jewish faith. My father is Jewish, not I. It’s the only way I can describe it though. […]

Lord, please me get through the night!

wish i cud simply pull out a plug and the whole of my system would go into a deep,uninterrupted slumber from which i would never wake up…

i also feel like punishing myself for being so useless… feel like inflicting pain to numb the feeling of helplessness… i did hit myself on the head and now i have a pounding headache but that doesn’t seem enough…

i don’t know what to do… i don’t know if anything would ever work….

Hi.

I’m Katie, and I want to tell my story.

I was born into a pretty good family, with a dad and mom that loved each other and all that good stuff. When I was 5 though, they got a divorce, but the reason was good as a reason could be for divorce. My mom remarried to a man who sexually abused both of us until the day he decided to try to kill us. That was the day he went to jail. That was also the day where I started on this long journey of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (I have been diagnosed by a professional). I have flashbacks […]