into the abyss

A couple years ago my life hit an all time low. I was emotionally shattered and the unrelenting world was closing in. I decided that I would take the step into the abyss. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t the first thing I tried. I had tried to get help from friends but I quickly became an outcast. I planned to drown myself. That evening I went out to an old bridge and sat on the edge watching the sun go down. Once the top of the sun was out of sight I stood up and took a step forward. The moment I hit the water and felt its cold embrace I knew I had chose a good death. The feeling as water overtakes your lungs and your vision starts to go dark was one of the best feelings I’ve ever had. As you descend into the abyss your body immediately tries to fight it, its not up to you its just a natural reaction. My friend knew I was mentally unstable and was contemplating suicide so he immediately knew what was happening. He knew I went there when I was depressed and immediately went there. From what he told me all he saw was me stepping off the ledge. Paramedics said my heart had stopped for over ten minutes and it was a miracle that I was revived. After all of that people avoided me and that only made things worst, which has led to several other “accidents” involving a series of injuries that my body and mind never fully healed from.