I want to hear this when I die

Each morning I wake up and imagine the barrel of a revolver pressed against my head.

If I had a gun. I would pull that trigger.

I don’t have a gun. So I sit up and cry.

I’m trying to keep myself self for my mum and dad

 but it getting harder to do so

I wish this feeling could go away and stay away

I NEED HELP

but sometimes I cart see way

I’ve tried and tried but the feeling never goes away

As you can see I’m still here.I’m doing worser than I was the last time I came on.On the bright side right now when I was trying to get the razor outta the shave thingy I cut the shit out of my thumb!!Talk about bleeding,not In the mode to cut anymore.Does anyone even care??Is anyone even reading this??If SP had followers would I even have edleast five followers??Nope.I “never” have nothing Important to say.Who the fuck Is Carlos??Am I the only one who says there name on here??See what I mean,nothing Important.Dude I’m just another face feeding these uglys out here,why you think I’m up […]

Every night I go to sleep suicidal. Every morning I wake up fine. But what type of life is that?

a memory so long ago

possibly the earliest sign of trouble

i was in junior baseball league 

played left field

a large pickup drove into the park

it swerved left and right

everyone ran with their kid/friend – i didn’t

i stared blankly almost longingly 

it could run me over –  so what

if i was wanted then  somebody would save me

How to not care?

How to not care?

How to not care?

sorry

but

How to not care?

Can you be ignorant and care also ?

I can’t sleep, my eyes refuse to close cause that’s the only way I can hear your voice.

This new outlook, specifically for the homepage, the new way our posts are formatted in a “cluster”……… As a personal reader to the website, I always go through every posts that are on here. This new formation of clustering, to me, makes it overwhelming, and the appeal as a reader has gone down. The old homepage format, by all means, I think should remain the same. Everything else is cool, though. Thank you.

Just change everything back to normal actually. Lol. But leave the cool design thing in the background. Aw yeah.

I hate life, I hate people / humans, I hate reality, I hate this world.
its very boring, and especially nowadays become only very materialistic, money / profits driven only, all about money, superficial, shallow, and mundane boring!

Why movies, video games, comics, books, novels, anime/manga, creative Art, basically human’s IMAGINATION & fantasy is often/always a hundred times FAR much more interesting & better than this sad, mundane, boring, superficial, & very LIMITING life / world / reality ??…

does God (if there is indeed one…!) play such a cruel sick joke for especially creating human’s IMAGINATION inside our heads?? .. especially often the very creative, artistic, […]

I’m tired of being here, and tired of saying how tired I am of being longer.  I no longer have the motivation to try to improve.

So I don’t know if anyone on here is good at reading what dreams mean, but this is a really REALLY weird one that I had a few months ago (I had written it down when I woke up) and it involves the Holocaust, Ashley Purdy, and self harm. I am Hebrew (that’s the nationality Jew is the religion and I’m Christian not Jewish, but I had family members die in the Holocaust) and have struggled with self harm since the 2nd grade. I have also been a fan of Black Veil Brides since 2008 and Ashley Purdy is actually my least favourite of the […]

So I just found this website o whatever today and I guess I thought it would be a good way to right the things I can’t say out loud to anyone even though I know no one will probably read this. I’ve been depressed for the last 5 years and I finally decided to see a psychologist about it since my self harm problem has started up again and my suicidal thoughts have been getting stronger. The only problem is my mom, I can’t tell her why i want to see a psychologist because she’d freak and never let me leave the house alone ever […]

Yes I am a cutter it’s how I deal with certain major problems a few months ago my life was going great now it’s taken a turn for the wiser my emotions are like a land mine and it dosent take much to trigger them if you don’t know me by now I’m Jason or Day whichever you want to call me is fine. I have been suicidal at a very young age and it’s only gotten worse I have drank so many chemicals in attempts to a true release but all have failed I always end up throwing the chemicals back up i am […]

Sorry, just bookmarking this change in SP History. (Edit this later)
Um, LOOK IT’S LIL’ FUCKUP!

*Runs Away*

I had been diagnosed with severe depression about 12 years ago. In that time & have been on at least that many meds with as many different side effects.

I lost a Vice Presidents position and a business to this retched thing.

I have taken myself off of all meds. I know this is not smart, please, no lectures. I am tired of having one pill after another thrown at me like I’m a dartboard..

I am afraid to go out in public because I brake down over the dumbest things. As everyone here knows, nobody really understands this unless you’ve been there.

There just does not seem to […]

Hello everyone. I am back and have noticed a vamped up view of the site. It’s so nice and new and different.

Who else felt like jumping off the bridge today?

Is clevername still around?

“I’ll be here if you need someone to talk to.” No you won’t, you always ignore me.

“I care about you.” No, you only care about yourself.

“I know how you feel.” No, you don’t. I don’t even know how I feel.

“I’ll never hurt you.” Then why do you always tear me to pieces? Why am I the one to blame?

“Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. It’s not worth it.” Oh yeah? Sometimes those problems aren’t so permanent. And it may not be worth it to you but I’m sick and fucking tired of being in so much pain, and not belonging anywhere. I hate waking up in […]