It’s been six months since I last cut myself. I tried to abandon self-harming because my parents threatened me to kick out from the house. I succeed but I just wanna do it again. I feel like cutting myself could ease the pain away again. I’m so fed up with my life. Every time I bottle up my feelings or thoughts, I will be crazy and numb sometimes. I have no one to talk to. When I try, they (family &friends) just turn their backs away from me. They would even call me “attention-whore” although all I really want is to get help from someone (not […]
02/09/2011
My grandfather was more like a dad then my actual father was he helped me through everything I spent all the time I possibly could with him he loved me and he always told me he did I always told him I loved him but one day I went to school and my teacher came and told me I had to leave school at 9 and my mom was coming to pick me up I was really excited cause I never got to leave school when it was 9 I got in the car and went home my dad was sitting […]
and if each of us are doomed to continue like this, fuck it
“find a hobby” when you’re tired of doing that, then what?
“take a nap” I can’t nap forever. what do you want me to do?
“its not your fault” yeah well when your human incubation system fails you and you face stretching your vagina for a dead baby you come back and try saying that again
The sad times are when you look around you and everyone has a place.
Everyone, except you.
Even the people you consider friends would rather be alone than be with you.
The sad times are when you look around you and everyone is welcome.
Everyone, except you.
Even the people that invite you in their circle don’t want you to talk to them.
The worst times are when you look around you and you’re all alone.
No one, but you.
Even the people you once thought cared, didn’t give a shit about you.
You sit on the bathroom floor, tears pouring from your eyes.
Blades carve your […]
this poem could use some work but eh, i’ve had some writers block so
you and I are out in the sea
Lost and afraid, you look at me
I hold you close but pull you down
and look away as you start to drown
I watch you sink then start to swim
Remembering that it wasn’t me you loved, it was him.
the sun goes down and I’m all alone
Shivering in the dark blue water, i’m on my own
The storm approaches and the waves hit
I ask myself “is it time to quit?”
I kick and scream in desperate need
someone pick me […]
I wish I had someone who cared
I wish I had someone who would wipe away my troubled tears.
I want someone to keep me up high,
even when I just want to die.
Everyone has that person they need,
of course everyone except for me.
I yearn for the love of truth,
the person who was destined for me ever since birth.
Stay strong, he’ll say at the end of every goodbye,
but the joke’s on him, because he’s the reason I’m still alive.
I wish I could have the one, who will love me for me,
and not care for scars.
I wish […]
He looked in her tear painted eyes
He saw past the lies
The I’m fines
The cries
Fake smiles
All the things that were vile
He looked at in her eyes
Said
Your not broken just bent
Everyone has their dents
Mine you have not seen yet
What to even say… I don’t know anymore to be honest. Before I knew exactly how to explain how I felt, but now, now I’m not sure anymore. Somedays I’m fine, I get up, get dressed and go straight out the door. But most days, I can’t. I can’t get up. Talk. Even go to the bathroom. I just lie there. Staring at the wall.
I just don’t know anymore. Its like. I don’t know. I just feel so heavy. It’s like there’s a weight in my chest, so much so that it’s even hard to breath.
Get a fucking Grip dude love ya<3<3<3<3<3
hey just an intro, Iam a girl and Iam 18. its been a while since ive talked to someone about all these feelings ive been getting lately. Iv been sad for such a long time now, its been years since I felt truly happy, and it really saddens me cuz I actually want to get better but I just cant, I hate this feeling of not knowing where I stand in life, I see all my friends go to college, get married, move on with their lives and I am over here crippled, not knowing what to do. The pain started off as emotional but […]
*****
Simple question: do you think that your life is worth living, or if it’s of any worth at all? If so, why?
These voices are becoming too much to bare. I’ve heard voices all my life, but never to this extreme. I have counted as many as 20 voices all arguing with each other but agreeing over a mutual hatred of me. Telling me to kill myself. Telling me that I’m not worth it. Saying I’m waste of time/space/and money. Calling me a slut. Saying I deserved what those guys have done to me. Telling me not to as my crush out because he’ll just reject me, laugh in my face, and hurt me like everyone else. I fear they’re winning. Slowly driving me insane. I really […]
So I have been thinking about Life for a long time now, and i just can’t see a meaning to live! I want to die, but i can’t kill myself because i don’t want to hurt my family and friends… I have thought about running away but the same feeling of not wanting to hurt anyone shows it’s ugly face again… I actually doesn’t have a bad life, i get food everyday, i have a loving family, i have a warm bed, i have a place to call home… But still i just dont want to live anymore… I’m praying everyday in the bus on […]
It’s funny how people who claim to have had past lives were usually something glamorous like a monarch or a saint. You rarely hear people saying that they were a crack whore or a depressed garbageman in a prior incarnation.
Tomorrow morning, the morning of 29/04/2014, I will wake up for the last time. I’m going to make sure my family are at work and school, and the I am going to give myself CO poisoning. For the first time in 8 months I am happy, because I know that before mid day I will be dead and at peace forever. I couldn’t bring myself to write a note to my family, I doubt anything I could say would assuage their guilt and sorrow but I hope that one day they will realise that some people don’t want to live and that trying to make […]