My mind? I’m intelligent, you’re smart too!, we’re smart.
But our knowledge, sometimes it’s worthless.We know there’s no hope, we know the situation is bad, we know no matter how many times we try it won’t work, we know the things will get even worse.We know.But the feelings…the feelings…we’re almost breathless, crying, slappin’ our own faces, screaming, preparing ourselves, methods already chosen, we got the stuff, almost doing…
But even in a rainy day, when everything is going wrong…I dunno, when I feel certain emotions I completely forget about suicide.When I see something cute, when I hear an inspiring art, when I hear babytalk*, I […]

So, after being off for two days, coming back to work was really nice. After about an hour of actually laughing and joking around, we hear this noise. My ex walks down the entire row of checkstands, through the lobby and stands in the middle of the entryway to the store, crying. Not your usual, sniff sniff, cry. Oh no. I’m talking about wailing. Like a two year old who got decided to throw a tantrum.  Everyone in the store stops and stares. Everyone but me. I start giggling. Then I realize its not a good idea so I try to make myself shut up. […]

What if you had a perfect life?.I mean, what if you had the life you want?
Have you ever imagined your little perfect world?.You probably did.
What if you were happy?.I mean, most of the members (including myself) are always complaining about how bad their lives are, would you be able to manage a happy life?
Have you ever thought that unhappiness may suit you better than happiness?
You could have a happy life and feel like a wretch, happiness could drive you mad.
What if you were happy…and then, one day, you start thinking: Is this what I wanted so badly? doesn’t seem too […]

How long does it take to suffocate? Just wondering if anyone knows . If you dont know then please dont respond. Dont tell me not to do it or I have choices or im not trying hard enough or I feel sorry for myself. Ya every body goes through shit and someone always has it worse , still want to die so tell me what you know or dont please. I just wanna know how long it takes.if anyone knows I dont want advice I just want to leave this world I dont care. I dont have family or friends im alone so it wont […]

As mentioned in my earlier post today, I have decided to end it all. If that’s not selfish enough, I don’t want to be alone when it happens. I want someone there to hold my hand as I lose consciousness and finally stop breathing and to remove my hood so that when I am discovered the trauma on whomever finds me will hopefully be reduced. Even if it isn’t possible to have someone there, I am still going to do it. This is just a thought….

http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Someone-Somewhere-Acoustic2.m4a

I honestly don’t know how to do this. For the past 2 or whatever year my anxiety has literally gone through so high I feel like someone stuck covered my heart in glue so that I can’t breathe. It’s gotten to the point where every hour I need to be constantly sighing almost every hour. And my so called “Friends” are just complete asshole and bullies to me since i’ve been prone to fear my entire fucking life. I guess my child hood wasn’t so bad since I was such a stupid kid and don’t remember much. My parents were very loyal to me […]

Opening day everyone is perfect
Nothing but hope in the air
Everyone happy without a care
With my luck losses add up
Outlook gets darker by the day
Can my team make one last run
Maybe, here they go its starting to look up
Your grasping, 20 games back 20 to go
It can be done, but no reality sets in
and no its over, time to turn off the tv
Hopes and dreams crashed again.
No one even talks about them anymore
Hats are changed jersey taken off

Final bell sounds

http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Georgia_Mass_Choir_-_The_Best_of_My_Story.mp3

where can I go where there is nowhere to go to who can I talk to who isn’t already playing what can I do when they have everything laid out and planned for me already wtf can i get my shock now can I get my whatever the hell they gone give me now I don’t care anymore commit me, kill me, anything is better than submitting. I don’t believe andi don’t have to I lost enough of my soul and I don’t care who don’t believe me: who I am, what I am supposed to be idont care who believes me or not […]

http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/J-MOSS-AFRAID.mp3

Do I have to?
I feel like I have to lose my soul
To make someone else whole
Because my life is not worth to live
Who will claim me?
Never
Who claims me?
The devil has touched my soul
Taken my soul
And unless I submit
I shall never be healed again
Born from a rape
Created in a laboratory
Who is enabled to tell me the truth
God knows
God sees all
Why won’t people help me?
I don’t understand
A sacrifice thru a ritual
All their souls bound to hell
God help us all
Psalms 41 to tell

I’m 19 years of age and in need of  a way out of this world. I just can’t deal with the stress and hurt any longer. Sure it goes away for a few days maybe even weeks but this horrible feeling come back with vengeance all the time. Even more powerful and even longer than before. It’s always on and off and all I wanna do when I feel that way is sleep because I can escape. I’m failing college and loosin all my friends one by one. I am truly alone. My parents would flip if they knew I was failing, and more than likely […]

I never knew any good. abuse from birth. Physically, menilly, sexually, and verbally. Living in poverty getting fucked by my dad and abused by my mom. Than my brother too. No love and no support. No friends no family. And the foster care system was no differnt. Abusse, neglect, and being used. I ran away at 12 and started prostituting to support myself. I wanted to make something for myself, to become something. I have been through things you couldn’t amagen. Things that should have killed me. But I’m hear and suffer every minuet of every day. I contiplate subside constantly. What do I […]

just a note to tell you what a joke tms is. all i have to do is get 3 clinics and my insurer to talk to each other! piece of cake right?  my money  is on the insurance denial.  especially when i found the price tag. 6-12 grand! i would tell you this in person but i haven’t done my homework. not willing to go into that kind of debt just to “fix” my brain.  as of this time i am still worth more dead than alive. not that anyone is keeping score.

I would tell it:
return 0;

Barring that, break out of the very long finite loop called life. It’s taking up too many resources, and we need to kill it.

“http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=IwtcwQwgdsA”

You are more

Hi my name is brittany and im 17 years old.  I’ve always been teased since the 4 grade up until now. People always made fun of me because I am fat and I never understood why people would say so many mean hurtful things to me, I was always nice to people. I would always help people and give people candy , and compliment those who were mean to me. When I was in the 6th grade I wanted to commit suicide because of the constant teasingof being called fat. It was like I could never get a break from being tease , and up […]

Hi
I have a question can you answer me?
I,m a shy and quite person and never I’ll tell my secrets to anyone but…If you really love sb is it normal to do anything to make him or her upset or disappointed?
I want to tell my feelings but the incapacity revenge me I want to cry I love you but I cry go away I hate you.I wasn,t like this but I can’t tell anyone about my inner person and now I have nobody who really loves and know me.
It seems like that I am in a prison which I have […]

Sometimes, I wake up and the sun is shining. Everything is calm. I can listen to the noises of birds chirping and people who are happy. Other times, I am tired. I feel like I am being held back by a bag of bricks hanging on my back. Somedays I just don’t feel like it. I’d rather stay in bed and do nothing at all. Nothing at all. Stay by myself and contemplate life lying on back like there is nothing else more important to do. Somedays I just don’t see the point. I have always seen beyond me. I have always dreamed of what […]

This is the beginning of my end, it is all my fault so I blame no one even though my parents and friends will all blame themselves. I’ve been researching the best way to end my own life for a few days now but I can’t decide which way I want to accomplish the deed. I think I am going to try helium, it sounds the easiest and least painful way (even though I probably deserve to feel pain since I am such a disappointment to everyone). I have plans to visit the local party store to rent a helium tank as well as acquire […]

I wrote a quick draft & saved it! Where did it go? What happened?