im done with the waiting around
but i can stop it; i just cant stop it
it hurts to wait for people like this
but i have to; i force myself too
i try to let people go and on their way
instead of them hanging around me
and me bring them down to my level
but i cant let go of these people
and i dont know why because i need to
i need to let them go because soon
ill be going myself; ill be on my way
and maybe its going to hurt them
or maybe not, but all i know
as […]
“you put me through hell cause loving you is a war
I hope to God you’re happy, I hope that you had fun”
*Nothing’s Forever; Jamestown*
“Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness”
*How to Save a Life; The Fray*
“You’re the one that I love
And I’m saying goodbye”
*Say Something; A Great Big World*
“If love’s a fight, then I shall die,
with my heart on a trigger.”
*Angel With a Shotgun; The Cab”
“You don’t know how lovely you are
I had to find you, tell you I need you”
*The Scientist; Coldplay*
“Til all my sleeves are stained red
for once i felt finally okay
i felt good
i felt like i was going to recover soon
but then it came crashing down
this wave of depression
it hit me and it hurt me
everything started coming back again
the nightmares, the voices, everything
the urge to cut is greater now
ive found out more ways to hurt myself
it doesnt do any good though
but i do like and i dont know why
i started eating full meals
a few days ago
but now that has changed
i can feel my family stare
as i go to get food
judging me
watching me
Last night, i worked 12 hour so i’ll be making $82 from that. sounds like a lot right, not really. Tomorrow i got to work again from 2pm to 8pm thankfully and i’ll probably be working by myself. Â there is this woman at my work, and she’s a supervisor, manager or something but basically she’s my boss and she’s definitely bossy but it’s sexy, you know? is it just me or does anyone else find bossy women sexy? she was giving me attitude and kind of pissed me off but i was turned on then she was talking to someone and stuck her ass out […]
Do you regret that you started cutting?
Do you think your life would be better if you never started?
Im just going to post some random pic of a dog i can relate to.
Fuck some people are stupid!?…!
Arrg! Sniff the sting! Im no good for anyones mind! Numbing sensation of jumbled thoughts. Racing truths through my head, Zombies! *sigh*
Mhhhrrrg! Fuck them, JUST…
X-C
im sorry i havent been around lately, things were getting better and then worse again… you know, the ussual…. but this time, i think im realy done… ive picked my best 4 options, and have started to subtily say my goodbyes… its hard to fully explain everything as many of you would know. and although i feel a need to, i wont.. because its quite impossible…
just know that i did try, and that the help ppl have tried to give me, did matter…Â it gave me a couple more years to make sure that this is what is best…Â there is no place for me […]
I’m a 13 year old girl in 8th grade and 2013 was a hard year for me along with the start of 2014. I had already had problems in my family before but all of this made it worse. My parents got divorced when I was 2 and while I was growing up, I was told that they just weren’t happy so it was the best thing for them to do. Around this time last year my grandma told me that my father had been cheating on my mom and got another women pregnant. I grew up thinking that my father was some great guy, […]
Ow are you sadie?
ow my goodinesh :'(
why are you sad?
your sunshine didn’t shine today?
don’t get sad
you’re soo preetty *u*
you’re soo cuuddly ><
reeally sweetie ^^
donchu want to get…haaappy?
smiiiile ^u^
if you don't smile I'm going to cuddle you
and tickle your belly :3
I knew you'd be smiling at this point 🙂
My dog is sick again…
I want a peaceful passing. No drama. No pain. All my life I’ve only been pretending. People tell me to follow my desires. To do what I want. I want my sufferings to end. I just cannot cope anymore.
Personally was never a cutter. Carbon monoxide is what I’ll use.
I’m doing the world a favour by dying.
I am the reaction of the expectations of an absent other.
It was my first time. With the blood the tears began to roll again. Is this your effects of cutting – releasing emotional pain?
I asked people for help today and was rejected. Why is this world so cruel?
So I’ve learned to make myself purge.
Today I threw up a lot of blood.
i havent been on this website for months. 9 to be exact. i remembereed my login, and read through all my old posts and realise i am feeling absolutely no different than i did before.
i may even feel worse.
this is so horrible and there is no one around me to listen to me . they are all getting on with their happy lives and i feel like my feet are glued stuck.
there is no one for me to go and there is no way of expressing myself that is satisfying. not even cutting can make me feel better anymore.
IF YOU EVER READ THIS. I HOPE YOU KNOW YOU ARE WRONG, AND YOU NEED HELP. IM NOT NEGLECTING THE FACT THAT I CLEARLY NEED HELP BECAUSE OF HOW UPSET I AM AND FEELING LIKE I HAVE NO REASON TO LIVE NOW. I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT YOU CHOOSING NOT TO TALK TO ME AGAIN IS ON YOU BECAUSE IT IS IMPOSSIBLE NOT TO IGNORE YOU. YOU DONT STOP. I HOPE YOU KNOW YOU MAKE ME WANT TO DIE. AND I HOPE THAT IS WHAT HURTS YOU. I NEVER WANTED TO HURT YOU. THE ONLY HURT I WANT YOU TO FEEL IS KNOWING YOU COULD […]
Im 25 and so lonely. I don’t have a job or many friends. I’ve never had a boyfriend or even been on a date. I sincerely think I’m super ugly. The last time someone told me I was pretty was on Myspace. So that was a long time ago. I’m chunky, have big feet, broad shoulders, and have dark skin where there shouldn’t be. I’ve tried lots of things to try to lighten it, but nothing had worked. I can’t wear low cut tops or short shorts. I don’t even feel like girl. I feel like this big disgusting monster. I honestly don’t think any […]
if i know i have no chance for a life, should i kill myself now and get it over with, even though i want to live a better life but it seems impossible? i don’t want to kill myself. but i see no other way. seriously, i want to live. i want a life. but it is clear now that that’s impossible. why put all of my energy into graduating if it’s not going to happen? he’s made it clear. and if i don’t graduate, that’s it for me. and i have no reason to be around. that’s all i care about at this point. […]