I’ve ruined everything. I destroyed all that I loved.
I’ve come to believe that I made everyone hate me.
Nothing can save me, because they wouldn’t if they could.
I made friends worry for me over my mistakes, it destroys me, and I know this is my fault.
I make my own family want me to leave, at only the age of 13.
They won’t admit it, but i know it. As everyone says, “actions speak louder than words.” and their actions show how much of a dissapointment.
But I cannot do it.
They will think it is their fault.
And that only will make […]
No regrets… just lessons. No worries… just acceptance. No expectations… just gratitude. Life is too short…
You might be sad because you’ve been through a lot, but you should also be proud of yourself for being STRONG enough to make it through it.
That moment.
That feeling.
That place.
You can feel yourself…
Alone.
Hot water
Running down your
Face.
Washing away the pain
The hurt
The filth.
The water pressure
Against your back
The feeling of both
Relief and loneliness
Every memory from that day
Running through your mind
Greif in your body
Depressed
The water burning the cuts
That is fresh
Overwhelmed in the moment
A place to be alone.
this is my first post here I dont even know why im trying its stupid all I want is to die ive tried overdosing and cutting but I just ended up in hospital and since ive been on these new pills all ive done is make things worse I ruined 3 friendships and my relationship I messed up
why am I here…I JUST WANT TO DIE and end this hell thay is my messed up life
I’m so glad I have found this site. But, at the same time, it hurts so much to know that there are so many people with the same problem like me…
I just met someone a couple days ago and already they talking to me about their problems. Second person in a months’ time. I must give off some kind of aura or something that people feel comfortable opening up to me soon after meeting me. It’s true, I’m trustworthy, I actually listen, I actually give a damn, and I won’t judge. Probably cause I deal with my own issues every day. I don’t know.
So why can’t I help myself? Am helping others to somehow try to help myself? Am I hoping than once I’ve helped them, they will turn around and help me? Ah, but […]
Seriously, only one single time, for Gods sake. I fucked up so much, I made way too many mistakes and I was too chicken to do things I should have done. I had enough chances to change something in my life and I took none. Not a single fucking chance. I guess I deserve to be here after all.
what exactly are we meant to do when the world is pushing so many of us away? This is meant to be our souls temporary homes, our bodies are meant to be our temples yet we despise them, hurt them, try to mold them into something they are not. Â so many of us feel as if we have ruined any chance of happiness we had in this life but is that true? Â Sometimes I feel it is, and there’s a voice telling me it’s not, but sometimes I feel it isn’t and there’s an even bigger voice telling me it certainly is. So many that […]
I’m so tired of this life. I’ve never felt comfortable in any situation and I seemingly can’t make anything work. I never feel like a normal person, never have. Even if by some miracle things are good, I find a way to destroy it just by being my uncomfortable self. I’ve done this so many times that now I’m just too tired to try.
I haven’t worked in more time than I’d like to admit. I’m 35, will be 36 at the end of the month, and I still rely on someone else to support me because I just can’t bring myself to face another rejection. […]
recently i had a dark experience going through something i thought i wouldn’t have to go through. i thought that maybe my beliefs were false and that maybe what my eyes were seeing was untrue. i thought that having thoughts meant i was listening to  an alter ego. basically i went psyco and it scared me. i stopped doing well at school, and i would stay home and board myself in. i cried. i cried a lot sometimes. i found comfort in music, maryjane and muses that i cant begin to name. it made me discover a world of art. its twisted but its true […]
Alright so, its been so long on here nobody would remember who i was but my name is Candice, and i posted here last year giving my story. Today im just gonna give a summary because i dont have time to type alot and I have nothing now. No one to go to, no one i can talk to. I’m going to make this as short as i can because i really need somebody to read it.
From the time i was in kindergarden i was bullied. It wasn’t until 4th grade it started getting bad. I started getting in trouble at school, i owed […]
I’m so alone. i never want to be around anybody. i literally want to shoot myself in the face right now, because Im already fucked up and i might as well end it all. i dont want to be alive and literally no one loves me. and i dont love myself. or anyone else except my dad. but seriously, ready to end it all man.
Ok, maybe I deserved this one. After laughing at Alex, I think I deserve what my other ex said to me. Nick and I were doing great, until I couldn’t keep my damn mouth shut. Now whenever I get near him, or any member of his family, they tell me I’m better off dead. Fuck you karma.
there is no heaven.
no hell.
no God.
only Time, and a choice.
I made my choice a long time ago, and now time decides when I carry out that choice
As I cut deeper and deeper, I think about all of the wrong I’ve done. I think of how much we once loved each other and how we have nothing now. You are the only one I ever want to be with. You never stop loving someone. You either never did or you always will. I know I will always love you and I know it will be the death of me. You tell me you love me, but you can’t handle my depression. I always have been and always will be here for you when you need me. You make it sound like you were […]
I do it because I have so much mental pain, I need to find a way to make it physical and get it out. So I abuse my body. I used to think I’d just do a few cuts here and there when I felt really bad, but now I do it almost every day, anywhere from10-200 at a time. It has taken over my life. I feel weird typing it; like, part of me is saying “no it hasn’t, you still have a life” but another part is saying “you’ve finally admitted to it”. I don’t know. I know this sounds stupid, but there’s […]
I don’t know what to do. I love my boyfriend so much, and I’ve told him so many times that I never want to hurt him, but that I know I will, and he just stays. I keep giving him chances to get out of the relationship, but he keeps saying that he’s staying. I’m still planning on killing myself, I haven’t picked a new date yet though. I don’t know what to do to make it hurt him less though. I feel bad because I know it’s going to be really hard on him, but I just can’t stay here much longer. I’ve waited […]
It’s been about 9 months since I’ve posted anything. I wish I could say it’s because things have changed and gotten better, but that’s not the case. Things have gotten worse. I’ve started cutting. A lot. Very few people know. It’s easy for me to hide it because I do it on my thighs and stomach. The only person who knows that I know in real life, is my boyfriend. He has depression and has been through tough times too, but he’s never done anything like this. I feel bad, because I know I’m ruining my body for him, but I still can’t stop. It’s […]
Exaggerations… Using words like, “never”, “always”, “nothing”, “everything”, “nobody”, “everyone”… Those are lies.
There are certainties like heat, and gravity, and the concept of time. Sure. Those are irrelevant.
But apathy and ambivalence are illusions to hide pain and pleasure. Sorrow and joy… These are human.
This is – simply – you.
And it is your right to enjoy your existence.
The reason you demand satisfaction is because “happiness” is the truth.
I know who I am. I feel. I’m alive. And sometimes, just sometimes I don’t want that. I’m real.
I need you to be real with me.
Love,
HeartCore