I just met someone a couple days ago and already they talking to me about their problems. Second person in a months’ time. I must give off some kind of aura or something that people feel comfortable opening up to me soon after meeting me. It’s true, I’m trustworthy, I actually listen, I actually give a damn, and I won’t judge. Probably cause I deal with my own issues every day. I don’t know.
So why can’t I help myself? Am helping others to somehow try to help myself? Am I hoping than once I’ve helped them, they will turn around and help me? Ah, but they always move on with their life and leave me behind. And when they are talking about their problems, doesn’t feel right to start talking about mine. I keep friendly face on, and be what they need me to be.
I don’t mind listening and helping others. It’s not like I have anything better to do with my life. Too much compassion or something. Maybe if I could clone myself, then I could find what I need. Preferably a female version of myself.
Is this my purpose? To be a rock for others. To be someone they feel safe unloading their problems on. To be a friend? They always turn into one-sided friendships, cause they are never there me.
5 comments
Do these people who unload on you ever ask for your advice or do they just need someone to listen to them? I personally find it incredibly difficult to just listen which is all some people want. I’m a problem solver by nature and when someone describes a problem to me, I try to think of solutions, but some people just don’t want that. I’ve had to train myself to only offer advice when requested. I don’t always succeed at that though.
Nowdays its just hard to see who really wants the solution for the problems and who just wants to act like they are hopeless. Those “hopeless people” are really hard to understand, I’m pretty much surrounded by them. I guess they are just trying to get love from someone, but for me they usually make totally different effect.
Usually just to listen. I tell them straight up when they get started, that I’ll just listen, make no judgement, might ask a question or two to clarify things, but I won’t offer advice unless they want it. But if I spot a point of bad logic or inconsitency, I will probe in that direction. I won’t come out and say, “you’re wrong!”, cause honestly I don’t really know. But I will ask questions, ala the Socratic Method, to try to get them to see the errors for themselves.
I honestly don’t mind listening to other people talk. Probably cause I can focus on them and not on my own troubled mind.
I hear that (see what I did there?) 🙂
Listening to other people is a great distraction for me too.
Hehe. But when you want them to listen to you, they tell you you’re crazy and they can’t deal with it, but thanks for the help. LOL.