Hey guys. well, where to start.  I’ve always had suicidal thoughts. when I was 17 my first serious girlfriend left me for her ex.  I went through a long stage of depression. for at least 6 months. I wrote a long suicide note to my family one night when I was certain I was going to kill myself. I was in bed, left the note laying on the floor. I had a plastic bag put it over my head waited a couple of minutes…I could slowly feel myself drifting away.  but as I was about to fall into the ‘no going back zone’  I had second thoughts […]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQTRX23EMNk

I’ll start with my earliest memory of running around my living room while people where drinking and taking drugs the last thing I remember is being put back to bed by a junkie. My mum always used to beat me from time to time. When I was around 7 she meet a guy called Stephen. She would give him money when there was no food in the house and I had nothing to eat I would go to my grans who lived around the corner from me to get some of her biscuits to try and kill the hunger as I would go days without […]

It took me awhile to realize that I only ever come on this site when ever I’m down. I wish I could come here just ONCE and say “hey am doing well ” and I though that I was.. I think I’ve been doing good. I mean I haven’t been cutting my self. But am sad all the time. A while back I was sitting in my room cutting my self in the dark. And my mom walked in. So I took the razor and shoved it under my pillow and all she did was. Sat on the bed. Pulled me into her […]

I’m am currently fighting with my one of my best friends over the fact I’m suicidal. I was stupid enough to send a drunken message to my ex, who sent this message to my friend who is now fighting with me because he thinks of it as weak. JEEJ ME , THIS WILL SURELY MAKE ME LOVE LIFE ALL OVER AGAIN,…. NOT.

who is to say who gets to be the judge in life?  who gets to say who has more power? who gets to say that other people are wrong? everyone has the right. there is no one person who is above everyone else. you may be judging people, but people can still judge you. you are no different than the people around you. everyone has an opinion. but nobody has the right to condemn others. because if you do, then they have the right to condemn you.

Miss me but let me go
When I came to the end of the road and the sun has set for me.
I want no rites in a gloom filled room, Why cry for a soul set free. Miss me a little–but not too long, And not with your head bowed low.
Remember the love that we once shared, Miss me— but let me go.
For this is a journey that we all must take, and each must go alone.
It’s all a part of the Master’s plan, A step on the road to home. When you are lonely and sick of heart, Go to […]

I have a mean to end it all.
Painlessly.
Yet, I can’t do it.

Indeed, those before me.
Were cowards, not at all.

I am not mercurial.
But I know, somehow.

I’m too tired to follow through.
This existence seriatim.

I look skyward,
and see nothing.
“Show yourself, You coward”.
Indeed, I was shouting
in the wrong direction.

I have a choice,
between lost eyesight,
or continuing a decadent existence.

I wish I could’ve somehow,
fight against our fall.
If only they know,
how much I love them.

I think I can safely say we’ve all heard this one before. “Don’t kill yourself, it’s selfish… Think about all the people around you? How they would feel ”

Who here actually feels like suicide is a selfish act?

I personally say this to people who told me this. Maybe suicide is selfish but you can’t forget humans are selfcentered beings.

I was hospitalized again this past week. A friend was worried about me ad had the police called on me and now I’m home and back on the medications.
Do I still want to cut?
Of fucking course I do.
I left my boyfriend of four years and so stupidly ran into another without even really thinking. All I knew is that I didn’t want to kill myself just yet and if I have someone here, I might not. But now it’s getting to the point where I don’t even know if I can handle a relationship right now. I am very committed in my […]

Hey guys, I’m pretty new here. So have patience as I try to learn how things work. Anyway, here goes my rant/story.

I don’t remember where I read it, but referring to the title of my post, this quote went along the lines of describing depression like a cold. The good food is there  to eat, but you just can’t taste it. In the same way, the good in life is there, the beauty is there, but you can’t grasp it. I can see it, I can’t grasp it. And when I do, it’s fleeting. That hurts. It’s like I only exist now to please my loved ones.

I’m […]

can reading a love story change your mind your your relationship that you are currently in?

I start out each day

All brand new

With a smile on my face

And my head held high

I socialize

I laugh at jokes

And I even give advice

But somehow my day

Always ends with a wet face.

I don’t know how to control it.

It keeps creeping right on back

It’s like a tickle in my throat

It keeps pestering me

Until the attention is given.

I don’t know how to deal with this nonsense

I think I may go insane

I just need […]