alright well i dont understand. is that i go from happy as can be to depressed and then happy again? its a war between sadness and happines with me…

Don’t really know how this thing works, but it appealed to me.  Considering I have absolutely no true friends I didn’t know where else to turn.  Do you guys just feel like no one understands you?  I feel so embarrassed when I try to talk about my depression because all I get are remarks telling me to toughen up, that things will only get better and I have so much to live for.  But, I don’t want to live anymore.

I have absolutely no friends.  My family…well my family and I have grown apart.  And my parents are loving and all, but I can’t help but feel like […]

Im a loser but I shouldn’t be,when I look at myself as a whole I should be happy I used to be popular now im a fuzzled anzty thing I cant even chill,If only I could snap out of it

I did promise I wouldn’t abandon this place. I don’t know why I care so much about the people I’ve never met behind the stories I’ll never really know. I guess I just feel for you and your darkness. I wish I could take it because it seems so wasteful.

I am still very tired. Since my last post I’ve cycled through a few medications with no effect. I’ve found that I am not getting real sleep as I have some sort of growth in my head. I haven’t told my family I am on the verge of passing out at least 5 times a day […]

http://www.malaysiaairlines.com/my/en/site/dark-site.html

Saturday, March 08, 10:30 AM MYT +0800 Malaysia Airlines MH370 Flight Incident – 3rd Media Statement

Ladies and Gentlemen, we are deeply saddened this morning with the news on MH370.

Malaysia Airlines confirms that flight MH370 had lost contact with Subang Air Traffic Control at 2.40am, today. There has been speculation that the aircraft has landed at Nanming. We are working to verify the authenticity of the report and others.

Flight MH370 was operated on a Boeing 777-200 aircraft. It departed Kuala Lumpur at 12.41 am earlier this morning bound for Beijing. The aircraft was scheduled to land at Beijing International Airport at 6.30am local Beijing time.

The flight was […]

Things make more sense to me now than they ever have in my entire life. I died, the person I was the dreams I had all of it died that was the true reason why I have been so upset. I didn’t want to accept that I let myself die because it hurt too much. But it’s done with now and I can’t change a thing about it. I feel empty, I don’t know who I am or what I want, it feels like I was placed into a body, a life that is empty. It’s like it isn’t my life so I have no […]

i decided to trust someone i know with what i feel, and now i don’t know if that was right. i don’t want her to tell anybody, she says she won’t but I’m still doubting. and I’m pretty sure she’s going to pity me from now on. do you think it was right to tell her..?

I’m kind of partial to old movies, especially Film Noir and B-horror/Sci Fi from the 40’s and 50’s. On the 9th of December Kirk Douglas will turn 98 fucking years old (if he lives that long). I hear he’s a damned lecher and a womanizer – in fact as I recall just a year or so ago he was accused of sexual assault. You would think someone with as much money, fame and fortune as he has could at least keep his shit behind closed doors – I mean (and not to be crude or crass) he could buy any elite hooker on the planet […]

It rained here in Colorado. Only for a bit, but for those few minutes, I was actually happy. Everyone looked sad, and I stood out in the rain grinning like an idiot. Rain smells good.

I’ve been reading some posts on here for a few days and it’s helped a bit. I guess i was curious if anyone felt the same way i felt. I’ve had depression my whole life. I was sent to a psychologist when i was 8. There she told me i had chronic depression and a bunch of other crap. I’ve just kind of bottled my feelings inside my whole life. It wasn’t until i hit 16/17 years old where i realized it was okay to feel this way. Well.. not okay.. but that i wasn’t alone or a freak for it. Anyways.. i’ve still pushed […]

I think that there are bad times and good times. There has to be us sad loser folks to show the giddy happy people how they DON’T want to be. Light and darkness. We are the dark people, and we are meant to see darkness. We are the martyrs who are cursed to show everyone else how blessed they are. People never learn by education alone. They have to be shown. We don’t ever know what we have until it’s gone. Dark things happen to everyone, but you know the ones that are destined to darkness. They are the ones that don’t make it, so they can show the lighted people […]

Please, I have no reasons for staying alive. The problem is I’m either too coward to commit suicide or too stupid for believing something good will happen to me.
What should I do? I have no real friends, everyone just talks to me when they need something. I’m good at nothing but school, and that’s not even worthy. My parents don’t support me. I feel my life is a waste. I feel like thrash. My only real friend is in a worst situation than me. If she dies, I’ll have no real reason to be alive.

The worst part is how people tell me “You just […]

I recently opened up that im bisexual. I didnt really want to tell anyone but i figured that people will bound to know. I live in a small town and word gets around fast. Well me and my best friend made a joke on facebook saying that we were in a relationship (shes straight). A couple hours later in school i heard that people were laughing and talking shit about us. I then decided to make a status on facebook telling everyone to cut the crap. Like who cares if we were dating, its not hurting anyone. Then an hour later one of my friends […]

Why do you even bother saying you love me?

http://www.monster10.com/The-10-Best-Ways-To-Fight-Depression.htm

 

9. Don’t Drink! Drinking and drug use are only a temporary fix and most times amplify your emotions. Stay away from the alcohol and the booze!

 

8. Eat healthy! You are what you eat and junk foods are not healthy. Loose the fast foods and saturated fats and you’ll start feeling lighter and better. Fruits and veggies will do wonder for your mind and body. An apple a day keeps depression way!

 

7. Drink Water! Stay after from carbonated drinks and liquids filled with sugar. 8 glasses a day will keep you hydrated and flush out bad toxins that keep you in a rut.

 

6. Listen to music! Listen to your favorite tunes and feel free to sing […]

Long story short.

My wife left me. lost all my possessions ,car , dogs etc. ended up going to jail after a argument with father in law. now on probation living on a couch stuck with 9000.00 in fines etc. jobless can’t find a job now that I’m a felon. Facing a violation for not paying cause I have no money. I was on meds for severe depression but have none now. I’ve tried once to end it already while I was locked up. I’m just tired why keep going it just gets worse. I don’t even remember what its like to be happy.

Edit

We were married […]

if you walked by a crowed of people. would you be able to point out the ones that are sad and the ones who have nothing better to do then just kill them selvs?

so far im my life i have screw things up!
relationships
friends
parents
family
to them. im just a piece of shit.
i have thought about my suicide again. it stopped but has came back in every way to hurt me.
i thought suicide was just a phase for me of what i was going through when my dad treated me like shit.
now it has came back. and i screwed up again. one of the most important thing to me. the happiest thing i have ever felt. but i screwed it up. and now all i can do is cry and feel like. nothing.

She’s the reason I’m alive… My girlfriend. But it feels like the whole world is trying to keep us apart. When I see her smile, I smile. When I kiss her, the whole world disappears. When I’m with her, I’m at peace. But, no matter what my parents think, my friends think, my family thinks. She’s the reason I’m alive. Another girl broke up with me (before this girl) and I really cared about her. We only lasted a month, but I still cared greatly. When we split, I wanted to die. All those suicidal thoughts I had forgotten about for 3 years, came rushing […]