hello… I’m new on here… though I’ve been lurking around here since last year, just too scared to make an account. so… hi?

It was exhilarating. It hurt alot, but it also somehow felt really good. My heart started racing, my anxiety suddenly kicked in, what a strange yet incredible feeling! How was I so blind? I always thought people who cut themselves were insane, but this is awesome! I can’t stop now! G’day to you, my friends. Imma keep at it! So wish me luck!

So for awhile now I’ve been trying to hold on, and I know what I need to do is call a suicide hotline, but today right after school I caught myself looking at pill bottles, freaking pill bottles to see if  a side effect was death.
I just don’t know anymore.
Their is this one girl who I like, and she likes me, and we tell everything to each other. She knows about my depression, self harm and suicide attempt and thoughts, but I don’t think I can ever tell her about today.
Feels like the only place I can freely talk about this stuff […]

The longer I live, the more I can’t help but think about how everything has the same fate. There’s a beginning, middle and end. From a term in school, a job, relationship, trip to the doctor’s office and even life. Nothing is forever, but plenty of things appear like they should last that long.

Life is composed of all these short lived events. One after another. They all bring different emotions. I want to know which ones are the best experiences that make you want to hang on for another chapter of life?,

I have meddled with suicide, sure. That changed when my father showed his nonchalance towards my death.

“Go ahead and jump,” he said.

Just two months ago some 21 year-old guy plunged from the 19th floor of a shopping mall here, and DIED. Everyone around him carried on as usual. Though plenty of Facebook shares from mortals pretending to care, while they barely know a thing about the guy and the hell he went through (lots of gory pictures too!). It was in the news as well. Would not go into details but my godmother knew him in person, so I know the backstory a […]

If I only could

If I could fill your hurting soul with love and happiness,
I would.
If I could fix your broken smile and light your eyes with life,
I would.
Believe me, If I only could, I would.

I’m not good at this, I wanted to give it a try. xd
I wish I could make everyone smile, just for a second.

Hey…Can somebody help me? 🙁

I’m sorry if I’m bothering any of you…I’m new here

Ok so, where should I start? :/ I’m 15 years old… I have everything, a loving family, friends…I shouldn’t be complaining at all. I’m sorry, some people don’t have any of that. 🙁 The thing is…I don’t have anyone to talk to about my problems, it’s like no one is listening.  I love smiling…and laughing, but sometimes it gets too hard and I want to leave, disappear. I’m a failure, I fail at everything I do. I feel so sad when I look at my mum, because I’ll never be the daughter […]

Our bodies have been made to be durable.

Our souls/mental psych(or whatever), just weren’t made to the same standard.

So we end up living in hollow shells because our bodies made it through the onslaught,

while we died.

I know a lot of people don’t eat meat but I’d perfer eating animals than plants.. Animals kill each other and hurt each other. Plants on the other hand make their own food, they don’t kill or hurt.. They’re completely peaceful life forms. Well.. Most of them..

Today at photography class something weird happened, the teacher made us close our eyes and relax.. the she asked us to imagine the things she said: “imagine your walking ,peace and calm, through valley.. you”re walking to a tree, the only one there… your sitting gown the tree until you see a shadow, a white one. You stand up and noticed that the shadow wants you to follow it… you get close to the shadow and you take it hand and..” then she continue but i couldn’t. As everybody saw a white and friendly shadow.. I saw a shadow that terrified me to a point […]

Accept that you’re just a product, not a gift.

so I there there are a few Buddhists on here and I think it’s honestly a good help. Me along with a lot if other people I’ve talked to get depressed a lot by simply thinking too much. In Buddhism, meditation clears your mind and calms you. it also has a peaceful lifestyle associated with it.

I often think of Buddhism as a philosophy more than a religion. Buddha himself claimed that he was not perfect and his teachings are based more on your opinions while most religions give you specific commands and rules.

“They” say I should be more confident, believe in myself. But I think I am confident. I know I’m useless, boring, weak, etc. I accept it. I am confident in my uselessness. Isn’t that true confidence, accepting your faults? I’m not going to pretend I’m something I’m not. Why deny the truth? What’s the point in faking it?

It is my first post here. I’ve discovered this website when I was attending my linguistic class. I’m a student, from abroad. I think many of you are American, and I hope my presence in here won’t disturb you. By the way, I apologize for the mistakes I may make, or the ones I may have already made, and I hope you’ll be tolerant. I’m specialising in the English world, especially the USA and the UK. I love my linguistic classes, I love my studies. But I got depressed, somehow. I thought about suicide, wrote it in Google search, and found that website. I read […]

Oh, I forgot. Nobody’s there.

I just don’t see how things will get better… I have screwed up my life and continue to let others do the same. It’s like I don’t have a backbone. That makes me feel like even if my circumstances change instantly, I will still be screwed up. I’ve lost everything. I’ve had so much stolen from me – literally. I have family that thinks it’s ok to mooch off of me – literally and mentally, and they are totally delusional about it. They have been totally dependent on me since I was a little girl. I’m surprised that I’m not on drugs. I went to […]

At the risk of becoming “that guy,” the one that’s a massive douche, is suicidal and writes poetry, I’ve written my first poem.
Wordpress didn’t seem to like the file being embeded but you can read/hear it here: https://soundcloud.com/bullfrog_88/we-believed-them-spoken-word

“The whole secret of existence is to have no fear. Never fear what will become of you, depend on no one. Only the moment you reject all help are you freed.”
― Gautama Buddha

I’ve started outlining my memoir. Finally, I’ve gotten going on this and I didn’t have to quit my job or quit school to do it. I’ll just add a little bit to the memoir project every day until it’s done. When it’s done… Then I’m going to get all my loved ones to hate me (so that killing myself will be that much easier). And when I’ve accomplished that, then I can shoot myself without having to think twice and thankfully, the memoir/very long suicide note will be there to explain my behavior.

I’ve lost you and have thus, lost the only person I used to really matter to. How […]

http://personalliberty.com/2014/02/27/are-9-dead-bankers-a-sign-of-pending-economic-collapse/

I swear it’s time for me to get off the SLAVESHIP .. while I still can

I could commit to hanging in there because my circumstances can improve, but I’d also have to be prepared to walk through the storm before the potential sunny weather

this debt money system HAS TO collapse, but it won’t occur without dire consenquences

when shit gets real (the aftermath of the economic collapse), humans will start to show their true colors

for the majority of John Doe’s, all the niceness derived from social conditioning will fly out the window .. you’ll witness human nature in its truest, rawest form

just my pessimistic opinion

according to […]