.Lately I’ve been noticing a reoccurring theme in my life; never getting put first. It’s been this way for as long as I can remember in all aspects of my life. Whether it be involving friendships, relationships, family matters it’s always the same. Just once it would be nice if someone would put me and my well being first as their top priority and take into consideration my feelings and care about me. It’s really sad how I’m constantly looked over and everyone assumes I’m fine and no one seems to care about how I’m doing or feeling.
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Oh sunflower,
Guaranteed, have I never been a top priority. I always looked at more popular girls and thought ‘Damn, society really got priorities, and I wish I was the first one like those girls’. But nope. And in this day I’m living in, I couldn’t care. I only care about my priorities to those who accept me. I know for a fact that Others are My first priority, no question about it.
Being a first priority is a special feeling, signifying that somebody cares. But if you were a first priority to somebody, then what would make the others around you? For example, in a household of five children, if a mother put one of the kids as first priority . . . it seems to lower the positions of the other individuals.
So I think to prioritize, it has to be more of a group thing. A label, even at times. So the mother of that family wouldn’t prioritize ‘this girl’, the priority would just be ‘the kids’ as a whole. (That was just an example). Actually, I’m not even in a group of top priority, I might secretly dream for it sometimes. My life just doesn’t attract pleasure.
Anyways, I do think each life demands enough attention to sustain it’s span, to share love, joy, and all that crap. I just don’t think we should dwell too much on being the one prioritized.
Those were just my thoughts. Who knows, I could have interpreted this post completely wrong.
And if I sounded ignorant about your feelings being put into consideration, I call that a priority right there. Emotion, stress, and down situations should Never be overlooked.
Thank you guys for the comments and rocket man it’s always good to hear from you :)… I think most of you however got the wrong idea from my post. I understand coming first is nt possible in all situations but I meant more along the lines of people caring about how certain things affect me and my feelings. I wrote this post because recently a guy I was seeing completely abandoned me not just as a lover but as a friend because he was worried about someone else getting hurt and he did it without thinking what if would do to me losing him as a friend. Other instances: when my parents got divorced my mom turned to me to be strong and as her support. I took care of things and heard things I Shoulnt had to had to deal with at the age all while my older brother, yes older, was coddled and spoiled during the period to compensate for the hardships our family had to face all the while I was breaking and cutting falling into a full on depression that I hid so well for years. I don’t blame my mom she acknowledged the injustice and apologized profusely but those two examples are just some instance where it would’ve been nice to have been thought about…
Affection.
I’m not sure if we’re supposed to crave it or just assume it comes as part of a package deal when we enter a relationship/friendship. For me personally, I can never make one person “a priority”. Rather, I’ll incorporate them into the grand scheme of things, whilst simultaneously catering to their overall wellbeing (Physical, mental, social, spiritual) or what we call “Hauora” here in the South Pacific. It’s a big ask (or rather “a big commitment) for someone to invest so much into a person, in my experience it always pays off though. I’ve dedicated five months to a female acquaintance of mine, I ask her how she’s been, whether she’s cut – All the stuff you’d get from us suicidal folk. Yet I still treat her like a human and ask her about school/work, compliment her on how she’s looking this day and so on and so forth. I have no obligations to do any of this, except to be a friend and help her as best I can.
It’s possible for you too, although I can’t speak as I’m a complete stranger to you. In saying that: how are you doing? Please feel free to speak your mind to me.
sunflower,
my favorite person!!!! <3 give wolf daddy a kiss!!! my tiny dancer, sorry kid that's what it's all about them! them! them! people care about themselves we always come in last most of the time, human nature.
it's the hokey pokey! put your left foot in take your right foot out and shake it all about!