I’ve reached the point where i’m am unable of being happy. this is permanent. I don’t even have it in me anymore to fake a smile which is required in this fake world.  If fear of suicide keeps standing in the way i could end up homeless or on drugs. what’s the point of living that way …. i have to do it and fast
suicide has become the answer for me. leaving the world wouldn’t be so bad. I’m one person. Who cares. At least no one will know. I’m leaving soon. I’m gonna act like everything is the same. Happy and everything. I can do this. Goodbye.
As a person who has struggled with suicidal thoughts and feelings since my early childhood, I strive to understand such impulses and to make sense of why it is that the idea of leaving this world and no longer participating in this “game”…this “experience”… appeals to me so deeply and for so long now. By chance I happened upon this article:
DIVINE SUICIDE: Depressive Breakdown as a Call to Awakening – by Jeff Foster
It profoundly touched my heart and in the most genuine way has expanded my mind on the deeper meaning behind the thoughts I have struggled with for so long and the desire […]
Hi Guys,
Luckily I don’t have school. But that means that I’m just sitting alone in my room. I don’t know what to do with my life… I just. Sometimes I get these awesome happy moods. Like I am REALLY happy. Not a fake happy, but sometimes I get so suicidal. I question my existence. I question my purpose. I question my life. I question life. I question so many things. And then sometimes my friends don’t help and I just don’t know…
So I guess one of my down days are today because I just feel suicidal and down.
On a side note I might […]
General curiosity, and my apologies if this has been brought up before, I’m new here. Don’t quite know my way around yet, so forgive me. I’ve always wondered what is after this? Years of self abuse written like poetry in scars over my body. Years of self-hatred for everyone to see and stare at. One stint in the psych ward, and multiple suicide attempts thwarted and my mom or myself saying “oh no, I didn’t want to die, I was just overwhelmed” in order to save me from more stints in the psych ward. I never wanted help, I never cried out for help, I […]
i found this site about a year ago and wrote about how my life was fucked up and whatever. never did come back to see what anyone had to say since my shit supposedly started to get better. but now here I am a year later and i look at what i was freaking out about last year and god I wish my life was there now. not even 2 weeks after writing that I ended up getting pregnant again. my fiance and I were fixing things i guess and after waiting 2 weeks I told him i was pregnant and that i would be […]
I notice of myself that I need alcohol in order to be honest with people I talk to..
I even find it difficult to express myself on SP without being drunk. Like right now , I’m surrounded by 6 empty bottles of beer.
How do you guys do it? be honest with people, either here or in real life?
I’ve lost the skill, but I’m paranoid so it’s probably something to do with that
Hey guys. I need some advices here. I know at the end it’s totally up to me but I don’t know, maybe you could help.
I’ve been feeling very very down the last 3 weeks. I was really giving up about life. I did post something about this not long ago. Somehow, yesterday, I found the strengh to tell a friend that I needed to talk. We talked a little bit by text message and I asked if she could find time to meet in real person to talk. And she said yes. Seriously, I know Im not lucid now ’cause I’m hurt and it was […]
Seriously, around 85% of the people I know are in a relationship. How come I seem to find no one? Where is my special person? I’m starting to believe love is the biggest lie/trap. Really. I’m 21 and I never did anything with a guy! Worse thing is, I hate boasting, but everyone says that I’m pretty, that I have potential blah blah blah but in the end who’s single? Me! Okay, I know that’s not so bad (although I have plenty other problems), but I improved, I’m not especially shy, I’m a bit introverted that’s right, but I’m approchable. I hate when people boast […]
I have worked so hard to break away from all the bad, I’ve picked myself up from almost homelessness, and now rent a beautiful home, and have several amazing career jobs – all at 20 years old. I have what I wanted.
And yet, I still feel so blah. so lost in a way.. Like everything I am doing is for nothing.
How do i get my heart to agree with my brain.
CHARITY=LOVE
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
King James Version (KJV)
4Â Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
5Â Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
6Â Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
7Â Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
8Â Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.
Song of Solomon 87
7 Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away. If one were to give all the wealth of his house […]
I have done something really bad.
I partially ditched my friend. Umm Firstly I told her all lies. I feel so lost. I don’t wanna admit I did it.
Feels like my life is over now, she found out. But in some way or the other I tried providing a proof that I din’t do it. But she still thinks I did. I wanted to suicide. She hates me now. Everyone hates me. I din’t mean to hurt her. No one needs me.
If I don’t go to school, no one will be there to notice that I din’t come. I feel like its really […]
I shouldnt have posted but I just want out PLLLLLLLLEEEEAAAASSSSSEEEE!
Please!
Amen
Links would be good and articles etc. Just anything for it to be over ASAP. The drowning thing is going to be hard (what isnt?) as places nearby are too public, and bridges no good as I would need heavy counterweights and the quayside is too public with regards for being rescued. Therefore would need to be where no barrier to shove legs over- I think a rowing boat wouldnt work and also a bit conspicuous an empty boat on lake.  Practicality ackward does anyone no anyone who did this and where? Physically I am not strong and weigh about 9 stone  Im located North east England.
Yes I know agony, but surely guaranteed using very high voltage and right conductor. I could stand pain if I know it means the end. Fishing line? I looked up on internet but not 100% (what is?) But then their MUST surely be a voltage high enough wearing the right materials/touching with metal or whatever. I badly need out.  Any ELECTRICIANS out there/anybody with knowledge on actual cases of it happenning. I know there are accidents. But surely those electric pylons carrying telephone wires will do it? Or an electrified rail. Power sources a problem. Yep, practicality is going to be hard to actually get to the […]
I am 36 and have come to the conclusion that me being anything or being of human worth is getting slim. So exploring suicide has its appeal. I have just had my cheap car blow up before xmas and could not run my business anymore. I have no money and never really have I have done six years jail and have felt violence numerously and have never really enjoyed hurting others growing up. I have had heaps of broken relationships cheated on left or me stuff up. Beaten bashed abused me others. Sitting back now to reflect on the chance of me being in a […]
It’s been over a year since I last posted something here. I would like to thank all those who commented and gave me advice and words of encouragement, though I seldom replied I did read every comment. Thank you.
This will be my last post.
I’m not killing myself, nor do I have any intention of doing so, not anymore, or anytime soon. I’m in a better place than I was a year ago, I’m no longer on any medication, though I’m not completely recovered. I don’t think someone like me, or anyone here for that matter, can feel the kind of sadness and hopelessness that we […]
Job, career, life, choices all that worries
and realization comes out  eventually everyone die, sun burns out, earth is gone, all universe disappear, nothing is left steve jobs, bill gates, elon musk
All this noise usa,arabs, economy, startups, investors, changing the world,creating history… flush out every 100 yrs. Every body in the world gone and new set comes in, repeat the same—again flush out
All is gone president, joker, bank robber, billionere, homeless.
Our logical ability says “life is just meaning less thing” and we start think: Â why getup morning and do any thing and why we want to go on living?
knowing the fact and living is what challenge of life […]
I’m 29 years old now. I started to experience feelings of depression and anxiety when I was in gr.7. Had my first full blown breakdown in gr.11 and since then I’ve been fighting to stay alive. While finishing my first degree I work at the university as a computer lab assistant. The work was easy enough and the pay was good. I sold top quality dog food on the side line as well. While accumulating customers to sell to, my feelings of anxiety was so bad that I developed Shingles. Every exam I wrote was hell. I studied from 7 in the morning to 6 at […]