Live like a man; eat like a man.  That’s the way it is for me, and that’s my 
motto. 

– 
At birth and upon death, atheism isn’t an option; it’s the default.  Any 
theism between these two events is a deviation of the natural. 

This is related to http://suicideproject.org/2014/02/31st-of-may-2014/

I know this place is more of a message board but I want a public record of my efforts. Also this way if I’m doing anything wrong or just plain stupid then somebody can tell me.

Day 1. Wednesday 5th of February.

My initial thoughts were that I needed to spread my wings a little so I booked some time off work and booked a trip to Vietnam. I have a friend that lives there and he says I can stay a few weeks. I’ve never been before and I figured that if These are my final months I need to see some […]

Pokémon incarnation.
Forsaken one.
Reach into hell, a trusting hand.
Let us travel slow, into the deep of void.
Oh, how fun; perhaps can it be.
A Muk, trying to become a champion.
Funk it, bust the mission. It’s the righteous way.
Muk has a freaking arm and hand, he can breakdance, all day.
At night sitting by the fire, what can we solemnly do.
Muk- I don’t mind. As long as I can breathe, be warm, and heal.
Solemnly like a granite pillar. Back through the void, of saint-hell goodness.

(Caterpie>Venemoth. Venonat>Butterfree…..)
Purple Venemoth, the token one.
I wish I could be, a butterfree.
Maybe […]

I attempted suicide by ambien but it dint work on march 17 2013 that was suppose to be my last post

I came across this piece, and found it beautifully portrayed what it is like to suffor from depression, and to be an outsider looking in.

“He inspected her. He undressed every layer of her soul and could find nothing but kindness. A fabric woven from silken dreams, compassion and understanding. She was like the moon, illuminating all that was in darkness. All darkness but her own. He began to see the thick sinking sand that swallowed her, the small pockets of air from which she could breathe. She reached out to all those that passed her, whom would only let her sink further in. Some which […]

Every time I try.

I’m not good enough.

Unintentional or not,

It never happens.

I’ve tried 3 times.

None of those were successful.

The only time I had hope was when I lost her.

I fell into hell.

And I couldn’t get out.

It was my unwanted home.

And recently I’ve been homesick.

I love Star Wars. Somehow I made you more into it.

I remember when we were talking, I told you I was 100% dark side. You told me you were not. “I’m a good guy” he said. So I laughed and said : I like bad boys. he replied: well, breaking your heart would be evil. He said smiling.

I smiled back, but then I started to think about it.

And after a while, you finally did. You broke my heart.

welcome to the dark side my rebel scum.

Wow, where to begin? I guess i can start off by saying this is not normal for me. Iv always been that girl that’s strong when nobody else is. Iv had straight As through high school and iv participated in a lot of sports and other activities. Iv been through many relationships, being dumped and doing the dumping. I lost the love of my life about 4 months ago, he was my rock, my support. He came into my life when things weren’t good at home, just when i was ready to say i couldn’t take it anymore.. the last 3 years iv depended on […]

I’m just tired of living in sadness I wish it would all just end..

I want to ask your opinion about seeking / talking to a professional. I never go to one. My mother asks me to go to a psychologist / psychiatrist. But I am afraid to pour out my deepest heart to a complete stranger. I feel embarrassed. I am also afraid that he/she will declare me as just an attention seeker. (Am I? I don’t know the answer. I don’t think I am but if a professional says so, who am I to counteract) It has happened before. I opened myself to some people in authority, and they ridiculed me and brushed me off as attention […]

Are you ready to sell it?

How much do you think you can value your life for?

What if so called leaders did a blunder and sold earth for $xyz? —

Hence, I believe humans are stupid because they choose some humans as super humans and call them as leaders

What if newton show-up and say there is nothing called gravity and all 3 rules are bullshit. Same way as Stephen hawking did “all black-hole concept is wrong and there is new thing called grey-holes”

Therefore if you wait for other human to save you, your life worth zero.

Sorry if how I post is a bit unusual, but for me my life is unusual. I am always scared to talk about myself, I find it to be too selfish for me but for others it is fine. I have decided to slowly tell my story in bits and pieces where you don’t need to read any other post to understand what I am talking about but in order to understand my life if it interests you in any way, and I don’t see how it would I just wanted to type something so someone can see how I feel because I hide it […]

Hi Guys,

It’s 8:30 here and I am already exhausted… I haven’t been getting much sleep these past few nights… Maybe 4-5 hours at the most? Maybe less? All I know is I have been going to bed around 1-2 am and waking up at 5-6:30 am… So not much sleep there… But ya know I don’t really care… Well I guess I do because I feel lonely those 3-4 extra hours and I don’t know what to do with myself…. I start overthinking things. I start wondering, questioning, questioning my very own existence. Why am I here for? What am I here for? What is […]

It’s funny how the people that were so called their for u but at the end your by your self ur probably so hurt that u don’t even know wat to do either to kill yourself or overcome your self and I find it really hurtful wen u know u been thur so much yet no body could see that they just think u thank happy girl or boy but once u let one person in and u tell them ur reall life and they go n tell people ur stuff and then seconds ur called a slut or fag or nothing but no body […]

I wanted to come here for a repost, as if once was not enough.

I’m a middle aged woman (55) whose life was wrecked by a cancer diagnosis followed by a divorce. Combo hit hard. Back then, I was tearful and melodramatic, and wrote a tearful and melodramatic post. Happily, that’s over. That is a distinct plus.

Another plus: I’ve lost my faith. I no longer believe in a life after death, and that’s a very freeing thing.

I have, I believe, been a good mother to my kids who are pretty happy, pretty well adjusted, and pretty clueless. This is a major plus 🙂

Meanwhile, I’m as suicidal […]

If I go there will be trouble!

If I stay there will be double!

SO YOU GOT TO LET ME KNOW!

SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO?

Just like everyone else on SP I have problems!! 🙁 but I try to help others, sometimes I’m negative sometimes I’m positive, but I’m so tired it’s hard to try to help others when I constantly want to die myself!

1) I’m not drowning in debt.

2) I have a job; I don’t mooch off others.

3) I have personal freedom due to the fact that I’m single.

4) I graduated from college. I plan on pursuing graduate school in the future.

5) I’m intelligent.

6) I’m experienced when it comes to the negative things in life, i.e., I’m not superficial. I don’t have to rely upon trivial advice and/or criticism from less experienced individuals.

7) I’m a gentleman with respect to the opposite sex, even if it never pays off. In other words, I’m not a loser douchebag.

8) Difficult books.

9) The ability to write.

10) Coffee without sugar.

share your suicide story with others
Reminder — don’t post hateful things here.
Do not post for suicide partners or discuss specific suicide methods
either. They will be removed.
 
This is what I read upon arrival. Is this a joke? Don’t post hateful things? THATS WHAT SUICIDAL PEOPLE DO! It’s MY life and I hate it and everything it stands for and everything it might stand for because others always think they have the right to tell me what to do then they turn and hightail it through their brainwashed cerebral psyche feeling proud that they stuck their nose into my business then run me up the […]

Last year I was hospitalized (self-admitted) because of severe suicidal ideation.  I spent a week in an emergency mental health ward and then was released and stayed in a recovery facility.

I’ve been to therapy and still see my therapist.  I have a psychiatrist and still take my Wellbutrin.  I’ve had ups and downs, but since I was discharged I haven’t had any more suicidal thoughts…until now.

I’ve worked at CBT, I journal regularly, I don’t isolate, I have a support system.  My wife is wonderful, and we have a strong relationship.  I’m close to my two college age daughters.  I remember how much pain I caused […]