Whatever you’re feeling, read this

I came across this piece, and found it beautifully portrayed what it is like to suffor from depression, and to be an outsider looking in.

“He inspected her. He undressed every layer of her soul and could find nothing but kindness. A fabric woven from silken dreams, compassion and understanding. She was like the moon, illuminating all that was in darkness. All darkness but her own. He began to see the thick sinking sand that swallowed her, the small pockets of air from which she could breathe. She reached out to all those that passed her, whom would only let her sink further in. Some which could not understand how to pull her out, others whom did not want to get trapped themselves. He saw no life lines, nothing to hold on to. He saw that when she struggled she only sank deeper and deeper, swallowing up each tiny deposit of air she had left. He could see the pressure of those tonnes of tiny grains of sand, minuscule in its essence but heavy and suffocating in its reality. Each tiny fragment a burden of its own, all pressing on her fragile body. He saw that she was smiling when a stranger approached, that she often asked them of their own problems. Then he watched her frown as they walked away, her having mended their sorrows. And how she just sat there. So accepting of her reality, and get so close to giving up. It was curious to him, he noted, that she was on the boarder of living and dead. He asked her ‘say, how about I find you a rope to hold on to’, to which she smiled and said ‘no rope is needed thankyou sir’. And how strange, this drowning girl, not wanting to be saved. ‘I must insist’ he replied. He watched her puzzle over the sudden interest in freeing her from her sand prison. ‘Perhaps I shall tie the rope to this tree and let you free yourself’. And that is what he did. He turned his back, and left. She grabbed hold of the rope, but did not pull. This was her comfort zone. She felt safe here. This was what she knew. He returned that evening and found her half way up the rope.

Sometimes all you need is the understanding of a stranger, and the willingness to free yourself of your own sinking sand”.

So many aspects of this clicked with me. The kindness of a stranger, how the simple understanding of somebody willing to listen can be a lifeline. How you are the only one who can get you out of that sand. It’s a beautiful metaphor all in all. I have found some peace reading it