I want to fall asleep and never wake up, I lie awake at night thinking of nailing my door shut and I don’t know why, I aspire to do great things but in the morning, all I can see is the futility of it all…

The blessing of the condition is that you can have the grandest dreams, the curse of it all, is that you will never see your dreams realised because they are too unrealistic…

I’m due to have my lithium levels checked.  On the one hand, I hope it comes back as too low so my medication gets pushed up…on the other hand I […]

I think I have come to the conclusion that my social awkwardness has gone so far as to affect my relationship. I just can’t seem to communicate with him. I tried talking to him again last night. No extreme drama from me this time. Well at least I don’t think. Anyway, I told him that I just felt like a huge failure and that I can’t find any good worth in myself. I have been hearing from my mom for many years how she almost died giving birth to me and how her pregnancy with me was just terrible because she gained over 40 pounds […]

everyday … everyday i go into college i feel so judge , that i don’t belong where i am . in my college class everyone has there friends … i do have mine to but they are all older then me by a couple of years but now its got to a point where everyone is turning on me ..i don’t know why or what i have done wrong … i was just being my self i guess . i cant tell my parents or my boyfriend .. not even my tutor , i have given up hope because no will understand, i know […]

I was once nothing. From the nothing I became something. Surely if I return to the nothing, I can once again spring into something.

Awareness is quite a weird thing really. A computer takes input, processes it, gives an output. It is never aware.

A man takes input, processes it, gives an output, and meanwhile there is this pesky thing called awareness observing the whole ordeal. A man that simply does, and does not observe while doing, makes infinitely more sense.

I wonder if it is even possible to die. Indeed, if reality constantly branches into different timelines, might it not be possible that […]

In four days, it will all have been an entire year.
One year since I nearly commited suicide.
One year since I found my girlfriend here and she saved me.

And it’s that date, 27th of January, that I chose to make my final decision: Wether to live, or to die.

really quick recap of my life so far: I’m 17 years old. I’ve never been really a happy child and have a mother who expects a lot of me (though that has gotten better for some reason). My dad is a weird old person who lost his dad when he was twelve and his sister to […]

this feeling inside the rumbaling under my skin the end less yelling the loss of my sane mind is driving me to my destruchion and end i thought i had goten rid of this it what ever thoughts are inside of me i thought that i was better but all i can feel is down and dark and lowly agggg

or maby im just plane old stupid ugly and mad :/

I hate when people say that, too much pseudo-science and New Age ideologies are floating around and causing people to think that their suffering is a product of manifestation that somehow, their “soul” has made a contract with before coming to earth. If you believe in that new age shit, or even Christianity, all of it is filled with lies & hypocrisy. “You create your won reality” my ass, bio centrism doesn’t prove shit.

Hi, I’m a 15 year old male (contrary to the title I know but keep reading) I was born on August, 8, 1998 anyways I was born to two wonderful people here in my wonderful homeland of Canada. I was (am) being raised in a religious group witch I will not mention because its considered the worst sin to talk about it/give it a bad name. But yeah it’s basically led by a group of old men, and everyone in it is delusional, including my parents. So about the title, yes, I’ll get to that right now, I was a special child born with a […]

I know many of you appreciate a good read… I’m almost finished with this book and trust me….you need to read it….verrryyyy enlightening…

anyways….thats all….have a great day guys….and remember SP is always here to help 😀

I lasted 98 days without a real cut, it was the hardest thing iv ever done but my dad stopped hating me, then the voices came back and i fought it and then the thoughts got strong again, and i kept fighting until the insomnia hit. I lasted 6 days with no sleep before i cut, i cut two days in a row then last night i cut to deep and had to be taken to hospital and stitched up again. The nurses all know me at this point and they al just shake their heads at me. More stitches to add the the collection […]

I have started the process of getting a legal Will made. This is essential because if I don’t have one whatever I have goes to the next of kin which I absolutely can’t allow to happen. I feel much better knowing that this will be in place soon.

The Living Will is more challenging. I only have one friend, well, I actually have two friends but only one I can count on, however, I’m not convinced he will step up in the right way if I am in hospital and can’t make decisions for myself. I hope he can but it is a lot to ask […]

It’s one of those mornings that you wake up. Wake up numb. Numb and empty. I can’t even make sense of my thoughts right now, because there are none, but, at the same time, too many things are rushing through my head.

I feel nothing, I feel loneliness, I hate myself for missing him like this. The numbness stabbing at my heart. He’s done enough, don’t be stupid.

I woke up with that feeling of knowing that your voice might break if someone makes you talk right now. But I don’t want them to know I’m dying little by little inside, fear and insecurity taking over me.

Stare […]

” Except some 10% of humans, remaining all are just meat bags

I really don’t know from where these 90% humans getting motivation for living

These 10% of humans at least leaving some footprint on earth. they may be remembered for next 100 or 200 years

But remaining 90% humans, No one knows what they really trying to do with life. simply assisting that 10% of humans.

Out of this 90%, some realized the fact and in dilemma whether to commit suicide or not. Average humans who are non suicidal are  just foolish ”

Question is:  If an average person* with strong self convincing power is living happily, isn’t he […]

Fingers positioned readily on the keyboard, pondering: ‘What story could I possibly recount that would validate my decision to end my life?’ Dispassionate and solemn, I dismissed the momentary notion to expatiate philosophically or quixotically –– I’ve had enough of cerebral & idealistic quests… ‘Has the nexus of your identity transmogrified into a psychogenic tabula rasa?’ Nonsense… Re: personal past and present-day, I have nothing to offer but silence; I simply want to die.

I dont know how many of you feel misunderstood by sheeple and what I like to call educated fools. My life has been filled with sexual abuse at a young age. Being brought into the world by an unstable 14 year old mother who really has horrible choice in men. Family that’s in denial of their sick and twisted faults and continue to pass on the demons from generation to generation instead of cutting the head off the snake. Mental illness and being able to read people for who they really are but still give them the benefit of the doubt because of […]

Scared to hang out with people people from my highschool and past because im still kinda awkward

You ever feel numb inside and you just dont want to anything,  you think about how many people you have hurt you know that you put them through so much pain. You know inside that you should just find a way to get your mind off of things but you turn your music up but your head phones on and all you think about is dying. All you want to do die. Lay in the road…JUST GET OUT OF THE WORLD.. Your ex text you and you just want to cry.. You just want to grab your blade but then you remember you flushed them […]

I have posted this before but I can’t find the post

Guess I am to stupid to find my way around here. How do I find my post again?

Would you tell me about hight again, please!

thank you