I really do hope that no one I know finds this, because I’ve never really talked about it.
I really don’t want to continue living. I feel this void just constantly making me hollow on the inside. There are happy moments, yeah, but I just want to die.
I kind of feel bad for being on here, as most of you have tragic back stories, self-harm histories, or previous attempts. I am an average 18 year old girl with divorced parents that love me. However, I’ve never felt that my life was my own. I am constantly told what I should do, and who I […]
If my life was a video game it would probably be Amnesia: the dark decent because no matter what I do to try to fight back its useless… all I can do is run and hide from all my problems until they subside themselves… but they never do… they just linger around and get worse the longer I hide…. it’s as if I am trapped inside this maze full of my own problems and other peoples problems expecting my help when I can’t even help myself… the monsters in my head just keep ripping at my soul and making it worse… I’m about […]
It’s clear to me now that society has no use for me.
Girls these days want nothing but sex and hook ups and to make a statement, so I have no reason to live. I have nothing to offer. I grew up believing that everyone would be entitled to be loved, but when I go outside and see that so many girls reject good men to have meaningless sex in clubs with guys with STDS I see that it means nothing, and it’s foolish of me to believe that I’m worth anything. Especially because I’m Asian and girls these days only want black guys. I went […]
You ruined my life.
I hope it was worth it, hanging yourself. Just know that the day you killed yourself, your problems didn’t go away. They were just handed over to me. Your other kids are fine, don’t worry. Even the one you put up for adoption; she ended up with a great family. You would’ve like her, she looks exactly like you. In fact, she looks so much like you that I can’t look at her.
If it makes you feel any better, I’m the only one that you ruined.
Your suicide note was fantastic by the way. “Tell her I’m sorry” written over and over is […]
I’ve been stuck in the “depression pit”, as I like to call it. I have depression, but I’m also bipolar (type 2). Therefore, when I hit the depression part of my cycle, it’s multiplied and I pretty much isolate myself until it goes away.
I haven’t been doing well recently. Every time I think I’m going to stop self-harming, I do it again. My legs are a mess. I was clean for a week (not a big accomplishment, but it was a great improvement for someone who cuts multiple times a day). I cut this morning.
Why is it that the only way for me to gain […]
After 3 days of torture from not sleeping well and to not been eating well, I am feeling like a brand new person.
So last night I called my eldest sister ~Dyanasugar to let my frustrated feeling out cause I missed her dearly. Then she told me to write a small letter to mom if I couldn’t apologize directly. This is what I wrote:
Dear mom,
Since I’ll be leaving soon and we have been talking to each other from the past 2 days.. I wanted to say.. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t water the plants when you told me to and everything that I’ve done so […]
I haven’t been on here as much and for that, I’m sorry. I haven’t been on as much because I found another way to express my feelings. I created a blog on tumblr. An anonymous blog where no one knows my identity and I can express my thoughts freely and not have to hold it in. On tumblr, I am also able to find others who have problems too and I can talk to them about their problems. If you guys ever need to talk or know someone who does, you can find me at bitchyreality.tumblr.com
I also made an Imstagram which is also anonymous. I […]
Everyone tells me ‘don’t wish your life away’ but it’s so hard for me not to. You know, I so badly want to live a long and happy life, but it’s really not that easy. And maybe people are right when they tell me that, but I hate my life so so much at this point. It has come to point where I can’t see myself even growing up. I know I’ll never kill myself, I could never muster the courage. I could never do that to my family. I love them, and I know they love me. I just wish I could be dead […]
When I was younger I was absolutely terrified of death, to me the scary part was how it would happen. I always believed that murder was the worst way to and in a lot of ways it is. But a lot of us are murdering ourselves, including myself. We tear ourselves open with anything we can get our hands on, we are in a way doing just as bad as murder. But the difference is we’re doing it to ourselves. We burn our insides with liquor to numb the pain. It’s really sad to see that what I used to be afraid of, may just […]
If my life were a video game. I would be playing halo on legendary only to spend 30 minutes trying to beat “the library” 5 levels of nonstop killing and traps up back and front in under 30 only to get killed by the last shit enemy and 1 step and second from the finsh. Round 1000 here we go. Eventually you give up and throw the xbox through your flat screen. Or you kill yourself. I’ll probably just kill myself soon and save all the supense. Why hope. Why try again. The game kinda sucks after a while anyway.
my step sister is sooo fucking annoying! I hate her soo much sometimes!! I went downstairs and come back up to find her snooping thru my computer!! what the fuck??? so I came in and saw her closed the door behind me and she was like mortified like I was going to kill her which I did.(jkjk I didn’t kill her I wish tho) and I started screaming at her I look at the computer and shes looking at my fucking history on the favorites bar….I wish she would just grow up and move out! and she only fucking 10 years old!!!omg I might die […]
2013 has been I think the worst year of my entire life, and it looks like 2014 won’t be any better. December 14th 2012, I had an operation for scoliosis and was stuck in bed at home for 3 months. That was the most crucial time of year 11 as I was missing out on all the things we needed for GCSEs. I felt so far behind and alone when I came back to school, and everyone asking questions and spreading rumours didn’t help. Just breathing hurt so much, but everyone expected me to be fine and able to get on. I have always had […]
I remember every fucking word you’ve ever said to me.
Don’t think for a second I forgot.
Yes, I may be nice, we may have fun.
But don’t you dare think I forgot the times I sat up crying,
The times I seriously thought about ending it from how small you made me feel.
All I wanted wanted was somewhere to belong
And all I’ve been left with is false hope and slit wrists.
Hi my name is axel i am 13 and right now Im facing family issues ad shcool problems and I think I’m just a helpless looser and I have suicide thoughts in mind and my parents dont even give a shit if i did suicide especially my own dad.
First lets start out with family issues. I have two brothers and me one of my borthers is 10 years old his name is adler and a 2 year old brother who is turning 3 next month and his name is jonathan. Ok so my parents are great parents to me i love them so much but there […]
Do I really want to say goodbye …….I have a good boyfriend that I am starting to trust he is as random and weird as me but I keep finding myself siting on the ledge thinking whether to jump or to survive …….to be honest I think better out of the ledge
I didn’t get anything for Christmas and my dad was at work and I just played video games with my older sister and I kept tried thinking of ways I could kill myself and I was EXTREMELY unhappy…I felt a little happy a couple of  days ago but that happiness disappeared when I went back to school I felt so ugly and worthless and uncomfortable when I was at school…I barely talked to anyone and really felt that my life was unimportant I mean there are HUNDREDS of other kids at my school and they are all either happy or pretty and I feel like a nobody,not that it matters anyways…I gonna […]
…and it’s the worst fucking feeling ever.
My ex boyfriend saw me with another guy in a cafe yesterday, and this “other guy” was just a friend of mine in my program and we were just catching up after not seeing each other for a while. So my ex ignored me, which is fine, but today I received a text from him. He basically said fuck off to me and to never talk to him again because I caused him to get deported, so “thanks a lot, you asshole.” He said I didn’t help him find a place when he needed help, and I told […]
It has been months and months in which I have been seriously contemplating whether or not I am depressed. Some days I will smile up at heaven (this not intended to start a religious battle, but for all educational purposes) and thank God for all he has done for me, however other days which seems to be a 70% time thing as opposed to a 30% time of the looking to heaven. I feel extremely stressed due to school, I am 16 years old have been taking classes since freshman year (now a junior) throughout the high school years with not a single summer break. […]
Which would you want during your EXIT and why?
holy shit.. I hate school soo much! like I don’t even know why?!? all my fiends are there..and I love all my classes…SIKE I hate all my classes I try to fit in but nobody likes me! I don’t have friends cause they all hang out with somebody else in the school. and now my ‘friend’ is bailing on me and hanging out with the cool people (aka the people that are supposed to be two grades ahead) lol and the thing is that I study sooo hard when we have tests and then I fail it! HOW!!!! I hate myself so much!!!! even though […]