He follows me from room to room. I lay down, and he is in the bedroom seconds later. I go into the kitchen, and he is there, right behind me. I walk outside, I watch t.v., I move…and he moves. Hell, if I even use the bathroom, I know he is out there, right outside the door, listening and waiting. As I type this, he is right behind me, glued to his computer as I am to mine. Ironically, he is ignorant enough of my desperate ways to find release that he does not read, or even notice, where I’m at in cyber land. In […]

“This world you seem to live in is not home to you. And somewhere in your mind you know that this is true. A memory of home keeps haunting you, as if there were a place that called you to return, although you do not recognize the voice, nor what it is the voice reminds you of. Yet still you feel an alien here, from somewhere all unknown. Nothing so definite that you could say with certainty you are an exile here. Just a persistent feeling, sometimes not more than a tiny throb, at other times hardly remembered, actively dismissed, but surely to return to […]

I never loved someone as much as I loved him…but then he started pushing me away, accusing me of cheating, and I ended up getting with someone else for a while…then he left me for someone else, but came back because he loved me. We broke up on Halloween, and I was fine for a couple weeks. We even hung out a few times…but I met someone that kept me distracted, fell for him not knowing he has anger issues, and now my ex has a new girlfriend and it’s tearing me apart. We were engaged. I really thought I had a future with him. […]

I went really deep but I can’t tell my mom that I need stitches but I can’t go get them I think it’ll be for but idrc…I just wish I can hit a vein tonight I want to bleed all the bad out…Im tired of crying and no sleep these suicidal thoughts are eating me alive.

I’m 23 years old. I fight too hard but now i’m a loner crazy nervous bony boy. I cant sleep at nights. I feel pain everyday and I cant remember the reasons anymore. last six months i’m sitting on a bench in park smoke cigarettes and thinking for about 3-4 hours every night and people look at me like i’m a freak. I tried drugs many times but they only make me think more and more so i have to quit them. And i don’t have enough money to use alcohol drinks. I cant eat and i’m about 50 kg with 180 cm height. And half […]

Nathan,

I was really upset when you decided to take your own life back on June 23, 2002 and still think of it almost every day. I know you must have been going through some rough times but I really wish you would have contacted one of us (your family)for support. We had our share of fights growing up that I thought I would never forgive you for. As I sit here today writing this letter I can honestly say that I forgive you. There are so many things that I held onto over the years, maybe I could have learned to get over them and […]

I will spend my remaining life(75 yrs) to create a computer program to upload human consciousness to hard disk.

It considers web cam as eyes and audio recording as ears and speaker as voice.

All you can do is browse internet, read all books of the world, write books, programs, design websites, create cool products

If any uploaded brain feel suicidal, what it has to do? other than visiting sp.

Unfortunately I woke up to find my mother still here because she is off this week …so she begins an early morning tirade on me because my sister has been getting in trouble lately and she tried to insinuate that it may be because I am in the state that I am in….I find that absolutely ridiculous and a stupid way of removing responsibility from my sister for her actions….. she goes onto say how I am a role model for my sister (despite the fact that I am a male and females primarily look up to other females aka her mother) and how I […]

Has anyone heard anything about lostnz? He hasn’t been on in months…I see most others here, but not him.

I can’t fucking sleep…I’m so tired my face hurts my scars and wounds hurt…I just want to breakdown again and cry…

I had a whole week to myself, no work no obligations no bullshit but things just got worse. And now that time is gone. I hurt more than ever. And I have to get up tomorrow and go through the painful process of dressing for work and getting there just to face the self-absorbed lying backstabbing assholes that feed on other humans. I fucking hate them. I try so hard to do what I have to do and because I don’t play their head games and I am somewhat honest they see me as a threat. I’m not the best person on […]

The first time I attempted suicide I was eleven, it involved a shoddily tied hangmans knot, a bag, and a closet it looked like some kind of scene out of an erotic asphyxiation porn than a suicide. It left a circle of bruise around my neck for a week. My mother had been screaming at me for days , constantly yelling, constantly questioning my loyalty, constantly belittling me, keeping me in the house for days unable to go to school like all the other little girls do. I had no other option, no one would believe me, my mother told them I was crazy, I […]

I always found that I was back on fire for life after taking mushrooms. But it’s temporary and without some kind of habitual use of it, I don’t feel connected to anything greater than myself. I’ve found that it’s the connection to the spiritual that gives me motivation to keep living. But I’ve been months without any connection to my/our higher self and I can feel myself tumbling into despair, more and more each day. I hope I can find another route to that divine heavenly place…The warmth of love and the motivation to keep going is too much to give up. I used to […]

Last night you held me in your arms and let me cry myself to sleep.
Thank you…

husband of 30 years  divorced me for a younger woman and left me  nothing no alimoney lost my house  and my job. living on my sis couch  crying dont know what to do. Lost my health Ins and cant take my anti depressant meds cant afford them.  Going to lose my car soon, then I won’t even be able  go to work.   I am so depressed and I want to throw up my hands and give up and end it all.   I look for work for hours a day.  I am not young anymore.  One day I am going to snap and do it. […]

Live fast, Die young, Leave beautiful corpse on earth

How beautiful it would be if human life span is only 30 years

Is there any standard(a group of people) that decides number of years a human should live based on some criteria?

genius: 100+ yrs( may be worth it)
suicidal: 30yrs
Owners of a company: 40yrs
beggars: 20 yrs
Leaders: 40yrs
mad: 20 yrs……….etc

I’m 34 yrs old, all my life I have battled problems, many of which I won’t get into here, some of which I will, namely the straw that broke the cammel’s back……… I battled with living with Asperger Syndrome (AS), I was bullied as a kid, ignored by my peers, especially be females…. As I got older, I was DX’ed with AS at the age of 21….. I had nowhere to go at the time so my mother let me move in temporarily with her, well, I intended for it to be temporary…. But she made me seek counseling, she lied to my counselor to […]

I’m just going to start with how getting an education and becoming successful is my top goal in my life
Sorry it’s long. . . good luck. . .
Honestly this goal as weird as it may sound is what’s keeping me alive on some of my most suicidal days. I tell myself I have somewhere to be in my future. I don’t always believe it. . . Like now. I feel like I’m going no where. I’m approaching sophomore year of college. I have great grades but I absolutely HATE the school I’m at right now.

I’ve made the decision to drop […]

im a 18 year old girl and i just cant handle things anymore. i wish that i was emotionless and my emotions constantly give me thoughts. what do i do from here… im thinking of taking sleeping pills. i overdosed on pills before and it wasnt successful…