Trying to decide on a date. I don’t want to do it too close to any of my son’s birthdays (they are all grown, 18, almost 21, 24). I’m thinking within this next week.
I’m suicidal and depressed, 37 years old female from Romania. If you want to talk, my Skype name is Madalina Schiopu.
My family makes me feel like my life is not worth anything, I just want to have a long and painful death.
…This changed my day…
…I hope it changes yours too…
I have tried suicide before but when I OD’d my body got all tingly and it hurt and the pain forced me to call for help. They said it was enough that I would have died had they not gotten to me in time so I know it would have worked. I want to do it again and finish the job this time but I’m scared that it will hurt again and ill have too much time to feel the pain and will call for help.
I would jump in front of a train but that would scar the conductor for life and I don’t want […]
I don’t know how we got there, but we were there, in my bed. Only a white sheet covering your gorgeous body, revealing a patch of chest hair, and my head on your shoulder; my “nook” as you called it.
Whether the light through my curtains signaled dawn or dusk, I couldn’t say, and it didn’t matter anyhow, because you were here with me again. Looking up at you, I asked for a kiss, it’d felt like forever since I’d kissed you, and […]
what happened to him.i was slept when that post was.i read it after i walkup.he really was funny hehe
It’s  strange. I feel guilty for even coming here. but I just need someone who will listen and understand. even though you’ve never seen me, or touched me… I have more faith in you than the actual people that have. I keep having these visions. I keep seeing my death as if it’s already happened. I’ve been on both sides of the fence. I’ve been my best friend. I’ve been my worst enemy. I’ve told myself that all of those religious people are just afraid. They’re afraid of not knowing. They’re so scared that they can never know what happens free death, even when they […]
Looks like ill have to resort to leaving posts and comments whenever I can.
I’ve recently concluded that I need to fight back harder with this failure to make enough money, and I have to keep trying harder and working harder to keep making more money to help my situation, but also to keep from feeling sorry about life and slipping into a depression about it all.
So I’m taking on a second job!
I started reaching out, starting with my closest option. I’ve really wanted to get back into the state legal medical cannabis industry, so I reached out to a local dispensary that […]
I am 35 you would think I would have grown out of this cutting shit. but apparently not. I have not done this in years and years and now all of a sudden I slice myself up. I decided that I wanted to do some self modification. I am so hurt so angry so mad…. I had told my husband that I was going to do self modification and do some scarification (a form of “body art”) and I decided to make myself look like a living Sally doll (from nightmare before Christmas) so I sliced lines all over my legs and cross hatching to […]
My family begang to talk shit about me, my friends meake me bleed. I feel all alone and depresed. I haven eat well for 3 weeks everytime I eat something I just wanna trough it up. Â I feel also sick.
I have never felt like I belonged anywhere. At home at school with my “friends” no where.  I have been used by people repeatedly. I’m not stupid or anything I just let them do it sometimes just to feel some type of  belonging
i  am tired of it all. I just want to escape one day and go somewhere beautiful…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMRfDv8v-UM
A few nights ago I tried killing myself with my school tie, then with the strap off one of my broken school bags. It was around 1.00am (GMT) and I had been crying for hours before I decided to try doing it. I’ve just had enough of the harsh words and the amount of slagging off I get from all my classmates.
I sat in my room, tears runnign down my cheeks and cuts going up my arms, and the razor blade on my bed beside me. I just kept thinking: why should I have to go through this anymore? After I had thought through […]
They say the human race has been going through the process of evolution all this time. Changing and changing and changing. Into what? I mean really what’s the point of all this? And clearly evolution isn’t working out so good, you’ve got so many born these days with horrible genetic problems like I was. Seems like de-volution is going on with so many birth defects these days, seems like life must have been better in ancient Greece or something, seems like people were healthier back then at least.
If we’re in this collective human evolution project thing, it means we’re just pawns anyway. Just being sacrificed […]
Hurt by the thorens around me, making every scaer bleed. Leting go all the pain inside.
I need to express this concern, and I don’t think any of my friends would understand, and probably get unnecessarily worried/upset.
The only paycheck in the family is mom’s, from a government job. She’s on furlough. Â We can survive a missed paycheck or two, but that’s it. Â I can’t find work and have issues that limit what sort of work I can even do. Dad couldn’t be bothered to help support the family and instead just spends money.
I have enough trouble upstairs when I’m fed, warm, have my meds, basic health care, and all those other benefits of living in a first world country, even being […]
The Conqueror Worm
By Edgar Allan Poe
Lo! ’t is a gala night
Within the lonesome latter years!
An angel throng, bewinged, bedight
In veils, and drowned in tears,
Sit in a theatre, to see
A play of hopes and fears,
While the orchestra breathes fitfully
The music of the spheres.
Mimes, in the form of God on high,
Mutter and mumble low,
And hither and thither fly—
Mere puppets they, who come and go
At bidding of vast formless things
That shift the scenery […]
Not a damned day goes by I haven’t held the cold steel of my 1911 against my head smiling knowing if I pull the trigger ill finally be in hell but I think of the few people that do love me and I halt myself but I don’t think ill last much longer not once has a girl said yes not once have i felt love outside of family but if I can last this long my weak pathetic unlovable soul can carry on spit on pissed on beaten raped as a child by a monster that forced me to dress like a little girl […]
ok… this post is very different from my others. i think it doesn’t even fit very well in this blog, but since everybody writes about anything about themselves here and that i don’t have anybody to tell this, i am going to write here. anyway, it’s part of my problems, even though i think it’s not the most serious one, and maybe it’s just a phase.
ok. i’m having some trouble with dealing with my sexual arousal. i can’t control it. i get excited all the time even without any kind of stimulation. i’m starting to think i’m a pansexual or something. no, i don’t think […]