Hi, I stumbled upon this site last week. It’s been interesting to read everyone’s experiences and I thought I’d share my own.

I don’t wake up every morning wanting to die.
When it comes to life, the hand that dealt me was fair. I did very well in school and continue to do so through uni. I have a loving family (albeit broken), friends, and a long-term stable relationship. I have never suffered abuse of any kind.

But sometimes, something within me changes which I can only describe as the ‘Switch’. When it turns on, life is no longer enjoyable. My energy is gone, my heart is heavy […]

I don’t believe in love and I want to die before I turn 15 I see no point in life and I definitely don’t want to go to college and I hate high school.Love is an illusion, If you can love someone you can hate them too. My emotions are all messed up so I’d rather be alone and try to not fall in love with anyone.

so i cut my first time yesterday night while listening to werewolves by cocorosie. i can handle havin all the effects tht comes wit chrons. ive adapted to tht, i never had to resolve to cuttin. it was my mom tht pushed me over. who would of thought, the person whos suppose to love u the most, based simply on the act tht u shared a body for 9 months. it was her, the mom whos not a mom. the one who said i had an attitude, tht i only think, only care about myself. tht im selfish and worthless, all i see is me. […]

it amazes me how my physical and mental health has changed so quickly. i am now taking ativan. feeling sleepy and spacey. luckily for me these past few days weren’t work days. tomorrow on the other hand i need to be cognizant. i am nervous about going back to work. left monday with the chest pains, high bp etc. as usual with me nothing was found in the blood work. have an appt with the primary doc on monday.  saw the shrink tuesday. he commented on how tense i seemed to be. and went on to say that he feels like he needs to walk […]

i didn’t mean to encourage you to die/ofcourse some of us need death for good/but don’t you feel great when you know that everybody from president to me:) will die and
When everybody die it doesn’t matter what ever your socialstatus is
What ever your age is everybody goes to the same place none existence.i am not trying to be a bad
Person but comeon.it really feels great!!everybody is equal in front
Of death!!unless ofcourse suicide is
Legal in the future

Is it normal from CleverName and CyanidesOfMarch to take leaves like this?

Mahasamādhi (the great and final samādhi) is the act of consciously and intentionally leaving one’s body at the time of enlightenment.[1][2] A realized yogi (male) or yogini (female) who has attained the state of nirvikalpa samadhi (enlightenment), will, at an appropriate time, consciously exit from their body. This is known as mahasamadhi. This is not the same as the physical death that occurs for an unenlightened person.

Enlightened yogis take their mahasamadhi during their final practice of samadhi: and they expire during this final sadhana practice. Therefore, mahasamadhi occurs only once in a lifetime, […]

When someone says that life is an illusion what do they mean?

How can life be an illusion since pain is SO REAL?

and you could not care less.

why should i even try to find new friends or lovers when they will just leave like everyone else

?

feeling bad ass. it was only a few, cut was more deep than wide, with sewing needle and thread. didnt hurt as bad as the actual cut. so fucked up that im not more disturbed by this.

Every day I wake up from a previously horrible day, and I try to stay positive.  But then…comes this force that drains my energy, and all the hope I ever had.  I fall deeper and deeper every day, every time I try harder and harder to stay up.  As for my academics, I work hard (orgo. chem in high school), but then sometimes lose it all in the middle of my classes or when I am doing homework.

I look at other students who are always truly smiling (unlike my fake smile), and they seem to enjoy every second of their lives. And I…I just sit […]

“Somehow I’m gonna lose you, cause You’re not mine, and You’ll never be.
It hurts cause I want us to happen. I was us to be. I could bet that deep inside you, you feel the same way for me. I need a sign before is too late. I can’t tell you how much I need you, how much I love you, how much I want you. Before is too late, please be with me before I’m dead.”

I dedicate this post to all you low life’s out there in the world..

All you fucking cheerleaders who think your ***** don’t stink, making the world out to be your own personal vanity masterbation play time. You don’t care about anyone and you’re life is meaningless enough to think you’re anyone worth caring about. Fucking sluts..you aren’t shit!!
And all you poor excuse for employers out there, you blood sucking lazy fuck tards who don’t appreciate hard working people. You need to kill yourself, seriously. What gives you the right to call yourself “successful”? The only thing people want from you is all your […]

i am so afraid that what has happened in the past will come to haunt me.

i am afraid that people will discover my little secret.

i just want a new start, but i am afraid of repeating the past.

feeling real slow and spacey today. sleeping too much. very fatigued. bp is high again today. feels like the wheels are falling off the bus. sudden noises, movements startle me. i suddenly don’t feel safe. left the last therapy appt in tears. i have always talked to certain “confidants” in my head. in doing so i sometimes forget that those persons have no clue what is going on. i set myself up to be disappointed which then reinforces the no one gives a shit idea. my shrink feels he has to walk on eggshells around me because i am so tense . that isn’t what […]

Good afternoon everyone,

i believe this will be my last post and contribution to this website as I am at the end of my tether. The darkness has engulfed my mind, body and soul. There is nothing left of the person that I used to know inside and out.

i have just ended the relationship with my partner – he does not seem to gander stand, listen or let go of the fact that I made a few mistakes in our relationship, I feel as if I have been tortured for months, mentally and taking my anger and frustration out upon myself causing me horrible scars both […]

I don’t want to jump to any conclusions but I think she is gone.
We were emailing back and forth and she said she was going to die that day and I haven’t received an email from her since. I also haven’t seen her on the site since that day….. I don’t know if she has passed but from what she said in her emails to me she was pretty adamant about wanting to die…. so I’m inclined to believe she has….If she has indeed passed on I just want to say R.I.P and I hope that she has truly found the peace and comfort […]

i feel really good when i know i will kill my self.

I’m a fucking disgrace. A failure.

Tired with all these, for restful death I cry,
As to behold desert a beggar born,
And needy nothing trimmed in jollity,
And purest faith unhappily forsworn,
And gilded honour shamefully misplaced,
And maiden virtue rudely strumpeted,
And right perfection wrongfully disgraced,
And strength by limping sway disablèd
And art made tongue-tied by authority,
And folly doctor-like controlling skill,
And simple truth miscalled simplicity,
And captive good attending captain ill.
Tired with all these, from these would I be gone,
Save that to die, I leave my love alone.