Wherever I was before is better than being here. Its the same here. exactly the same. reminded about things i dont want to be reminded of and as alone as i’ll ever be.
So, I’m thinking, how could you if you can’t? I mean, if you really want to kill yourself but you don’t have the guts?
My new idea is to set myself up. Give myself no other option. Let enough people down and the shame will be greater than the fear.
Working on it.
(Smile)
so how does a person go about making a friend around here?
What do you do when the world hates you, and you’re all alone? Â :'(
I realized that i was on the verge on bullying a member of this site. I know what it feels like to have a bad day and for some reason that day i just wasnt remembering. I gave someone a hard time for being a downer and I was ashamed. It really hit me when I noticed that when I have an especially bad day, any small event can push me over the edge. Everyday I browse this site looking for that person I bullied and I dont see their name. I can only hope that he’s left this site because he’s doing well and […]
🙂
Well I’ve just failed at hat could possibly be the only salvation from this depression I could’ve had. But no, I’d rather seem to throw it all away and destroy myself. I can’t cope anymore, but mostly, I can’t cope with who I am anymore.
I have never loved or detested anything more intensely than the world I was born into.
You terribly-scary-albeit-painfully-beautiful little piece-of-precious-shit, you.
You are a *****, but you are my *****.
I chose a time, reality and a life.
I gave myself a checklist of things-to-learn-in-this-lifetime, but  I ripped it up before I could cross out even a decent number of them the moment I got here.  I fucked it up gloriously.Â
With my severely depressed, perpetually melancholic state of mind, I doubt if I can proceed any further.
It has reached a point where I can derive solace and safety only from my sorrow.
That, is not the true nature of my spirit.
I need […]
All of these years I’ve spent trying to make everyone happy. I believed that if I could make them happy, I too could be happy. So I stopped enjoying myself for the time and began focusing on the happiness of those around me. Turns out though, I only further ruin their happiness. My very existence makes people unhappy. No one ever wants to work with me in school groups, even though I do everything for them just to make them happy. I try to be nice to people and socialize, yet I still cannot make people happy. I try to keep a happy outlook and […]
Life isn’t supposed to be like this.
I’m supposed to go to college in the fall. I’m supposed to become a nurse in 4 years. I’m supposed to look forward to the future.
All I can think about is suicide though. I don’t want to be alive anymore, I’m done. I know if I die I will mess up a lot of peoples’ lives. That’s the only thing holding me back, I don’t want to hurt everyone. Does anyone have any advice? I don’t know how to make these thoughts go away and they’re ruining my life.
So I’m seventeen, 17, just graduated from high school. I’ve been struggling with suicidal thoughts for about 4 or 5 years now. I attempted suicide in 2011 after I was hurt by someone who meant the world to me and I regretted everything. I’ve started up counseling since May 10 this year and have started medication but I still have depressed days and days that are hard to get through. I feel like nothing helps. What broke me is I had a nervous breakdown a few days before I started meds and going to counseling and nearly ended it. I have a box filled with […]
they say its not a big issue
they say i can fight
they say i want attention
they say i ll never be fine
but these cuts
and my scars
hide the things
i wanted forever
hides the pain
hides my tears
hides the love
and my fear
and these cuts seems so beautiful
when i sit alone and write
write the story
with a razor
this pain will never leave me
forever and ever
these cuts and my scars
i just cant hide
because its the part of my
painful life
It feels like my world is going down the drain. There is always this nagging feeling in the back of my head, telling me to end it. I silence it most of the time, but lately, the thought of suicide has been seeping into my brain more and more. I am at a loss at the moment. I don’t know what to do. I can’t decide whether I want to end it or keep going. I know there are things to live for, but are they really worth it? Is it worth all the pain and struggle? Â I don’t want to hurt my family, but […]
It was only recently that I’d stumbled across a site like this, somewhere to put my thoughts, with complete strangers, unbiased views of a life.
As is everyone else for being here, I wish to end my life.
In my family, I am the oldest, naturally, the one with the highest of expectations.
I was also, in all technically, a bastard child, one with a father, if that should even be used, whom left, and said I was being created in the belly of a slut mother, who slept with everyone but him, hereby resulting in me not being blood to him.
As expected, he was simply […]
I don’t understand. How many pills will kill you. When I was 13 I attempted suicide by overdose. I took 53 pills. 20 prozac 20 head ache relief and 13 advil. I tried to go to sleep but couldn’t to many thoughts rolling through my head. Am I weird? I chose an outfit which I wanted to die in. A comfy one not a cute looking one. That doesn’t matter. I don’t understand how I took 53 pills and had VERY little liver damage. I wanted to die so how didn’t it work? Â I guess I just don’t know suicide. I felt weak that it […]
To all of those who remember me… Kelly or DDD or DarlingDaughterDamaged,
There is indeed hope… Â I know that sometimes it may feel like you’re at wits end, nothing is going your way, but just trust me..
I found love in this hopeless place… I know that seems stupid… But I did.
Nothing is a lost cause, I still have my bad days… It’s not as bad as it used to be.
I know that right now might be hard for you, but it does get better.  If anything let me stand proof of that…  And admittedly..  If  it wasn’t for SP and the respective chat, wouldn’t be here. […]
I wonder if I’m losing faith, or maybe there is an absence of good on my life
I just want to share a story, my story, for anyone that might care to read it. Â It will probably be the only thing I post on this website. Â You’ll never know who I am and I will never know who you are, but perhaps we’ll meet someday, get drunk together, and you’ll tell your story and mention a story you read on this stupid website and I’ll say “hey, that was me! Â I wrote that!”. Â And we’ll laugh about it and go build a bonfire in the woods and howl at the moon, or something. Â That’s the kinda thing I like to do, anyway, […]
I have or had a best friend. And he was there for me through everything.Literally everything we’d talk daily for a year and a month straight. In april he developed feelings for me, and at first i didnt believe he loved me and then i did. Hes not the player type or anything. Well beautiful things were said hes the damn friend ive ever had. And i feel in love and he just lost feelings for me. Point is we’re just friends now well best friends and i feel like im loosing him and  i cant loose him because hes the only real friend i […]