This site… It is my biggest secret…. The fact that I’m on here, means only one thing…. Nobody can know…. I love you

I’m not sure why I feel compelled to share my story, but for whatever reason I’m not sure I can stop myself from typing these words. But I will try to keep to details to a minimum and will just cover the most important aspects to keep this short. In high school I was an introverted nerd, but the first year actually turned out to the best, and it was only downhill from there. I had large ears and a stutter, the latter of which would often limit the conversations and connections and I could have with other people. In grade eight I started to […]

I know how much the decision to commit suicide really hurts. I know how much pain it takes to be pushed to that point. About six or seven years ago I made the decision to kill myself. Six or seven. That’s how long it’s been since I’ve been pushed that far. Luckily for me the day I made that decision someone, who I know consider my guardian angel, saved my life. We are best friends, sisters in fact, to this day. I’m so glad I didn’t kill myself. It turns out I didn’t want to stop breathing, I just wanted my problems to go away.

I […]

So, in two days, I will be graduating highschool, on the surface I’m happy and just as excited as my friends, and I am, don’t get me wrong, this is a huge step in my life but.. at the same time. I don’t know, there’s this little part of me that wants me to feel miserable.

I can’t wait to leave highschool and all the dicks in my school, I’ve seen enough of them to last me a lifetime. but I’m going to miss my friends, I don’t know when I’m going to see them again, cause some of them are moving away, like far away, […]

Yesterday,I threw away my blades. Today I told my best friend that I was cutting and now she doesn’t want to talk to me anymore. I don’t know what to do.

This story is about the girl who learned to live alone.
She used to sit alone in her classroom. She used to walk alone because nobody likes talking to her. She used to be alone all the time. She failed in almost everything in her life. She was tired of the insults and the pain she had inside. People used to laugh at her all the time, make fun of her, follow her to insult her more and more.
She was tired of the way she chooses to fight with her pain. She used to cry all night. She used to stair the walls all the time and remember her pain […]

After a couple of suïcide attemps, i’m looking for the ultimate plan.
I almost died a year ago, but they found me. So now I wanna do it the good way.
The strongest thing i’m thinking about is drinking the antifreeze.
I’m not sure about what will happen, but about what i’m reading on the internet, death is one of the consequences.

I’m in hospital now, but the day i leave here (probably the end of September) i’m going to die.
Please help me to find the perfect way, because this life isn’t made for me.

(Sorry if my English is not that good, it’s not my […]

In the shuffling madness
Of the locomotive breath
Runs the all-time loser
Headlong to his death
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNCT6pA5I9A
He feels the piston scraping
Steam breaking on his brow
Old Charlie stole the handle and
The train it won’t stop going
No it don’t slow down

He hears the silence howling
Catches angels as they fall
And the all-time winner
Has got him by the balls..

I don’t think it’s help we need, it’s support and someone who will talk to you so much just to make sure your OK. I really hate seeing people not being talked to or supported :/ So please, I urge you guys, if you want to talk to someone my email is immarebal@hotmail.com

I don’t care who you are, I just want to help 🙂

30 second run time

Imagine this contained in the skull, I’m 99% certain this will be an instant death.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7w4M-LNXuQ&feature=youtube_gdata_player

I’ve got a question for you all. Please comment! As much as I believe there’s plenty of options for your life other than suicide, for some people it’s the only option. Whether they’re right or wrong is not my point. My point is, when we think our pets are suffering too much, we go to our vetss and they put our animals down, after exhausting all options. Sometimes they may put them down anyway no matter what! Because they realise we’re not liking the suffering we have to watch every day. So. Why is it wrong not to kill a person for reason of suffering, […]

Hi..i’m a 16 year old girl and i really don’t know where to begin..
but I will begin by saying i’m suicidal and under a lot of depression…
the cutting has temporarily stopped, but when I get the urge to do it..nothing can stop me.. I will cut myself with anything and everything…
i used bobby pins, box cutters, scissors, knives, plastic, dried up paint, rocks, needles, safety pins…you name it ; I’ve used it..
I had to undergo therapy for it when my mom finally noticed..but it’s all a bunch of bullshit..
nobody really cares if you’re alive or not. and once you die, […]

I miss you.

I miss you like hell.

Why did you have to change.

We fit so well together.

We were soulmates.

But you had to change.

I probably sound crazy but I’m so emotionally broken deep down in my heart I don’t know what to do.

Self harm is so relieving.

It’s how I tolerate the pain.

I thought this kind of stuff would never happen to me.

I can’t reach out for help. It seems unnecessary. I don’t want to disturb everyones little happy bubble. So I need to hide it. Hide all of my emotions so no one can see how broken I am. No one needs to know no one cares. […]

My guess is that everyone on here is afraid of something. Afraid of the future, afraid of consequences, etc. Right now I’m afraid of something everyone in life has to eventually go through – growing up.

Well I’m not really afraid, more like I’m TERRIFIED. My whole life there was someone to help me, even a little bit, and I always had another milestone I could postpone adulthood to. But now I’ve reached that point and now I’m on my own. I do and don’t want this moment to come. I do want to become independent and not under the stigma of my parents’ reputation […]

Today I was happy.
I went to the pool today with my assistant manager/close friend (I helped her recover after a very brutal divorce with her crack-addict lousy excuse for a husband.) Now normally when I have any cuts or scars on my legs, I tend to hide them. But today I said, “Fuck it! I’ll show them off and let them get some sun. Maybe they’ll fade out a little like the older ones.” I had an incident a few days ago that I’m none too proud of, but I decided to go nonetheless. When we got to the pool and the sun was […]

I’m a survivor.

A few people in this world, supported a few med pros who taught me how to survive. Last wweek I wanted a dr to put a bullet through my head, over something stupid. I was having a hard time getting through some proocedures. So the dr had to spend an extra five minutes which seemed eternal for me, making certain that I wouldn’t go home and die. A family member, one of about five or six who I trust and stuff the rest of ’em, was understanding, but also disagreed with me at the same time. At least she cared and wanted to […]

Anyone know what it’s like to lucid dream? In general I like dreaming more than life, and many days I feel depressed the very moment I wake up. But when you know you’re dreaming and have total control over it, it’s incredible. It tends to happen for me when I take a nap after being awake for just a few hours. Last semester on certain days I only had morning classes with nothing to do for the rest of the day, so I’d come home and go back to bed. This is when I would lucid dream.

It’s been awhile since I’ve had a dream where I was in complete control, […]

Today I threw away my blades. It’s the best I’ve felt in years. I wanted to get better but I never thought I would. This is a huge step for me and I hope other people will be able to do this.

Hi again..
It’s little old me.
I figured I would continue my story seeing as it has been really weighing me down lately.
So, uhm, yea, here I go…again..
Things continued that way for awhile, but then things got a little worse…or a little better depending how you look at it..
My mother and that guy got into fights, a lot, and very bad fights..
When I close my eyes I the silence, I can still here the shouting, screaming and the faint sirens in the distance..
Anyways, they ended up taking some time a part from one another, that would be good right?
It […]

So, I’ve liked a guy for 10 months now. And yesterday, while talking to him…I was hit with this feeling toward him. It was overwhelming, but amazing. It’s like… All feelings were built together and thrown at me. I can’t stop thinking about him. We talk everyday for endless hours, until one of us falls asleep. I have strong feelings toward him, but I don’t know what I am exactly feeling. v.v’